/oh my gosh I don't even know what I'm doing.
The engine purred, rumbling as the car idled, and the street lights gleamed off of the yellow and black stripes of the convertible. Flicking the car keys, the engine switching off, Zoro slid out, irritably fidgeting with the tie Sanji'd conned him into wearing. "What a stupid car," He grumbled, and folded his arms, looking around to see where the GPS had managed to send him this time.
He was ninety percent sure that Sanji changed everything on the GPS so he'd get lost all the time. He didn't have problems with getting anywhere else.
Bar those other times...
Shaking his head to clear the thoughts, Zoro spotted a neon sign glowing and grinned; alcohol, a man's best friend.
Entering the bar, he conveniently didn't notice, exactly, what the sign said below the neon glow of the letters - men's only night.
Gravitating to the bar as soon as he entered, Zoro ordered himself a drink, loosening the tie that'd started to choke him. Stupid Sanji and his stupid 'dress sense'. Shitty cook.
Mind grumbling curses at the blond for kicking him out and telling him to 'go and do something other than mope you shitty marimohead,' he didn't miss it when his alcohol came by, and eagerly drank it, ready to get semi-drunk and wander home later in the night, leaving Sanji's precious car to be found later.
He also didn't miss it when some guy in a very open (yeah, it pretty much wasn't even there,) red shirt began giving him a sultry grin from across the room.
What. The hell.
A cursory glance around the bar proved his sneaking suspicion, and Zoro pursed his lips, cursing up a storm in his head. Oh shit. Ooooh shit. How the hell did I end up in a gay bar!?
Chucking back the alcohol, he very quickly tried to stand, only to be confronted by a reporter holding a microphone and shoving it in his face, half-screeching to be heard over the sudden pulse in techno music that'd hit the dance floor.
Oh double shit.
"RORONOA ZORO, THIS IS A GAY CLUB ARE YOU TASTES NOT OF THE FEMALE PERSUSION ARE YOU GAY WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR ALL THOSE LIKE YOURSELF OUT THERE?"
Red shirt chose that moment to sneak into the conversation, grinning at Zoro like a little devil, and for the third time that night, Zoro cursed his choices.
"Heya! I'm Luffy. What's your name? You look pretty cool you'know. Wanna com'n dance with me~?"
"THIS IS A FOUR-ONE-NINE EXCLUSCIVE, ZORO RORONOA DATES MEN."
"Woah hey wait what-"
Luffy shrugged, smiling widely. "Woah sweet, what? We're dating?"
"Wait, wait-"
"RORONOA ZORO DATING STRIP CLUB DANCER, EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE!"
"Hey I'm a strip club dancer!" Luffy tugged the reporter's sleeve, giving him a questioning glance. "Are you talking about me? Because if you are I need to ask him out first."
"STRIP CLUB DANCER MAKING MOVES ON MOVIE STAR? EXCLUSIVE."
"Somebody save me," Zoro pleaded, pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to resist groaning.
