She'd been staring at that stupid crystal photo for an hour now. The day Nick got that photo taken seems like so far removed that it must have happened to a different person. Everyone in the loft has grown up, moved on, and in the process moved a little further away from each other. So much had changed.

But not really. Not for Jess.

Because she's still sitting on his damn bed.

Staring at that damn photo.

Noticing things.

Like how his hair isn't really that dark. More of a chestnut, really. And it looks so stiff in the photo, but it's actually really soft, especially a couple hours after a shower, it's almost fluffy. Sometimes, he would come home from a shift and faceplant into the bed next to her. He'd mumble his goodnights when she'd stir, rolling to face him, his eyes closed and his body fast falling into slumber. She would take a moment to watch him, then slowly raise her hand to his head and run her fingers through his hair. He would let out a soft, small moan and she grinned. She'd twirl the longer locks around her small finger, enjoying the worn-in smoothness of the strands. This hair was different from the fresh washed downy feel from before. And even though this texture was the result of a nights worth of work and sweat, she actually preferred it. It felt more lived in. It felt more Nick.

Her thoughts wandered with her eyes, focusing on the pair looking back at her from the photo. His eyes were always just brown before - before she really got to look at them everyday. Sometimes, she would see a hint of toffee, more so when he was outdoors, which was as little as he could get away with. It seemed funny to her, assigning sugary adjectives to the attributes of someone who could be so sour. But dark chocolate seemed to be the default.

Nick hates dark chocolate.

His eyes were always less of a color and more of a mood. Like how when he was being playful and teasing Jess for saving all the cereal boxes to craft drawer dividers, they would turn a lighter color, like burnt caramel. And when he was angry, they'd flash from brown to near black, almost mirroring the emotional upheaval taking place. And then there was the deeper, softer black, when the brown was barely perceptible through the veneer of lust. This color made Jess' knees buckle from the intensity, the way they would burn into hers, as if communicating directly to her soul.

But her favorite color was the one in the photo. This was a look of pure concentration and focus. Serious. He would get very quiet, and for a few moments, the intelligence Jess knew was always there would be visible. She would watch him, unnoticed, seeing the process of thought, especially when he was writing. It was a huge turn on.

Looking over the face some more, Jess appreciated the smooth jawline, though when being honest with herself, she preferred a few days worth of beard growth. It was still coarse, but soft enough to nuzzle without getting red bumps on her sensitive skin. Underneath all that stubble was a surprisingly soft neck, and some days, after a particularly difficult school day, she would scrunch up on the couch next to him while he had a few moments before work, she'd nuzzle into his neck and breathe him in. She sighed at this memory, able to still take in his scent. Her eyes would venture no further, but that didn't stop her memory from wandering - as she moved over his broad shoulders, she smirked at the tufts of dark hair that peeked out from his unbuttoned collar. She'd never been a "hairy chest" kinda girl before Nick, and now it felt like a guy wasn't a man without it. She surprised herself sometimes - she was as much a a forward thinking lady as Susan B Anthony, but a bit of masculinity really got her bothered. Her mind's eye moved down and around, approaching what her sister had pronounced to be an "uptown butt" - Jess still wasn't sure what that meant, but could appreciate the sentiment. She blushed as she began to recall some more intimate details, but was halted by the sound of a car honk outside.

Snapped out of her reverie, her thoughts shifted back into reality, letting the sounds of the world around her filter back into her senses. As her eyes shifted away from the shot and around the room she sat in, she realized the breath she had long been holding in was making every part of her body stiff. Letting it out, her shoulders relaxed and she looked down at the blanket covering Nicks bed, releasing it from her clenched fist, then smoothing it back out, erasing her existence from it. She fought the urge to curl up and fall asleep right there, instead resolving to just sit a moment longer, putting off the sadness tethered to her that was sure to follow her out of the room. But for now, in this moment, she would pack these memories away and get through the rest of the day.

"Til tomorrow." she said quietly to the photo, giving a short salute and a forced grin. Rising from the bed, she made her way to the door and place her hand on the light switch, giving Photo Nick a last glance before turning out the light.