(Comment: After writing the last story and putting so much depression into it I felt like these two really needed happiness again.
This relationship definitely had a long time coming.
If the parts of Locke's thoughts come off more like a ramble than a part of a story then ... I have actually done my job right. XD I tried to make them a bit incoherent and jumping from one to the next so they would sound more like an actual trail of thought.
What inspired me to this story was mostly the song "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran. /UDDMYw_IZnE I also imagine this was the radio song Luger wanted to dance to.
The next song on the radio didn't play such an inspirational role but I still somehow wanted to have one of its lines in the story. My choice would have been between "If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?" and "Cause you are the piece of me, I wish I didn't need". The former line seemed more fitting in the end. That song was "Clarity" by Zedd, btw. /eZxo9mrWgR8
So in a way you could say this is mostly a songfic.)
As usual Locke spent his day locked away in his labs. Something else that also had become usual during the past couple of weeks was that he didn't spend his time in there alone anymore. Luger sat near him and closely watched every move. He couldn't be of much assistance but apparently he didn't mind watching Locke in silence for hours. Having an onlooker while he worked always made the Guardian nervous but in this case it was ... different somehow. A strangely pleasant kind of nervousness so to speak.
But even if the company had been an uncomfortable one, Locke would only have had himself to blame for even inviting him and insisting he should stay. He had done so because his lab was the most private place he had known. At the beginning they had still talked, mostly Locke had given Luger the chance to pour his heart out and tried to give him as much comfort as possible, later they also had gone over were-transformations in detail and made plans for their first full moon together. That also had been more than two weeks ago and by now their days together had become more silent. Not an awkward silence though - it was rather the kind that would occur when you didn't need anything else but only the other's company. Something else had changed during these past two weeks as well - Luger had become more lively again, could be seen smiling more often. There was a possibility that his upbeat behaviour was just yet another facade, another lie he managed to convince himself into. But even in that case Locke thought it was better to rather let him believe in a lie than seeing his face stained with tears again.
"Hey, did you hear that? They just announced one of my favourite songs", Luger suddenly said, picked the radio from the nearby shelf, placed it onto the table in front of himself and turned the volume up. He only listened to it for the first three seconds though before he stood up, walked to a bit spacier area and held out a hand to Locke.
"This song just sounds so perfect for a dance", he said, an expectant smile on his face.
Locke shifted his wait feeling a bit uncomfortabe and bit his lips. This was a bit sudden and moreover he wasn't a dancer at all. But seeing the sparkle in Luger's eyes he decided to give himself a push, walk over and accept his hand.
"But you have to lead. And don't complain when you have to drag me like a wet sandbag."
Luger chuckled. But as much as Locke usually liked the thought that he had been able to make his friend laugh - right now his mind was rather occupied with trying to keep his breathing under control. Against his rapidly beating heart he couldn't do anything. Was it really just because he was anxious about the idea of dancing with someone - even though no one was watching? Or could it be because of Luger's hand on his hip and the fact they were incredibly close. Yeah, they had already been closer before since they had given each other hugs - but this felt so completely different. For starters, when hugging someone you didn't have to watch your position and your movements all the time and you didn't have to look into someone's eyes.
"You know, I could imagine us dancing at a ballroom right this moment", Luger said. "A Grandmaster and a Guardian in each other's arms sure would draw a bit of attention."
Locke looked down on himself. "I'm sure it would", he said with a light chuckle but also a hint of self-consciousness in his voice. "Especially when we would really do it 'right this moment' and said Guardian was in full lab attire, stained with various machinery fluids, couldn't dance and generally was the most socially awkward individual and known as a shut-in."
"Oh, I don't know", Luger said with a gentle smile and leaned in even closer so that their foreheads almost touched. "To me you seem perfect."
Having him so close that he could feel his breath made Locke's skin tingle, his stomach flutter, his heart beat faster - if that was even still possible. He felt the heat rising in his face and tried to turn his gaze away.
'No, this is wrong', he thought to himself. 'I shouldn't have these feelings, not for another male, not for a former Grandmaster, especially not for my best friend.' He then felt a sting of guilt for even considering the first two as a problem. Luger never had been their enemy - Grandmaster was just a title. Feeling guilty because of that was like feeling guilty for saying 'I'm in love with an admiral'. And for the other one, what was wrong about loving another male? Well, at least not for his generation but he was afraid that the older Guardians would have a massive problem with it. But why? Were they expecting that Locke of all people would from now on go around trying to hump every male he could find? That image almost made him chuckle. But thinking about it, he actually never had been attracted to anyone in a sexual way. If anything, to him love was more an attraction between minds. Yes, he did have sex - but rather because he saw procreating as another one of his duties than anything else. Would it be the same with Luger? Why the hell was he even thinking about that right now?! It was like Luger's near alone was enough to set his thoughts ablaze.
Thank goodness that up to this point they still had been dancing to the music so Locke's abrupt and long silence after Luger's compliment hadn't been noticed - and hopefully that also counted for the furious blush that had spread over his face during the past seconds.
He tried to clear his mind by reminding himself once more he shouldn't even have these feelings but by now the only weak excuse left was that they were best friends. But did he really still see him as a friend only? No friend should have taken such a clear notice of how well toned the other's body was - even though he wasn't an active soldier anymore he still had maintained the body of one - or how his purple eyes seemed to sparkle whenever he smiled.
Another song started, more upbeat but less suitable for dancing. Still Luger kept holding onto Locke, his expression had turned a bit more serious again. The slight smile lingered on his face but now it looked insecure, almost a little sad.
"I'm ... not sure how to say this", he said softly. For a few seconds he bit his lips before continuing, "Maybe it's best to be straightforward... If I kissed you now - would you return it?" He sounded as if he didn't even dare to hope.
As fast as Locke's heart had been racing before - now it felt as if it stopped for a second only to then break its speed record. With wide open eyes he stared at the other male. If his face hadn't felt as if it had been on fire before then it definitely did now. Thoughts spun through his head, the fears he already had before came back to his mind but so did memories of the past couple of weeks, of how much his behaviour and feelings towards Luger had changed and also how much he had tried to suppress and ignore them afraid of rejection.
"Yeah ... I think so...", he finally mumbled as if in trance. He felt how he was pulled even closer, felt Luger's warm breath, then his mind finally snapped out of its stupor and reminded him what to do. He leaned in until their lips touched. Gentle, almost timid at first, as if each of them feared the other would draw away again but then their kiss deepened. Locke could feel Luger's hand wander over his back. For a moment he thought about doing the same or about touching the other's long spines but then he kept his hands on Luger's shoulders. By now he thought that he couldn't only feel but also loudly hear his heartbeat. Was that even his heart alone? For all he knew their hearts could be beating in unison. In the background the radio singingly told him, "If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"
'Yeah, why?' he tried to think but then quickly shoved it out if his mind again. All that mattered for the moment was feeling Luger close to him.
When they eventually broke off again Locke's knees felt so weak they could barely carry him anymore and his head was spinning. He took a few steps back and leaned against the table for support.
"Are you okay?" Luger asked worriedly.
"Yeah, it was just quite ... overwhelming. I think I need some time alone now to clear my head." Locke smiled and tried not to make it sound like a rejection. Rejecting Luger was the last he wanted right now - he really just needed to clear his mind.
The former Grandmaster returned his smile. "Okay, I understand." He unlocked the door and after a last gaze back left the lab.
As soon as he was gone Locke sank back onto his chair and stared into empty space. Was this all a mistake? Not really, at least he didn't regret it. Even most of his worries from before had turned into silent echoes of themselves. Right now if anything he mostly felt exhausted but it was a good kind of exhaustion. The only big questions that were still standing were "What now?" and "What would the others think?" The first one could only be answered by time and by staying with Luger. Of course their relationship towards each other would change now but how and to what extent was something that had to develop on its own, no matter how much he would have liked to plan and control it. But what about the other question? He knew he was willing to fight for Luger but before that something else had to happen - they had to find out who he even was in love with. Was he really ready to tell them? Not yet at least. Even that was something he couldn't plan thoroughly in advance. Instead of occupying his mind even longer with things he couldn't find the answer to he rather decided to concentrate and remember the song they had danced to. A smile flashed over his face. "Edi?" he telepathically asked, "Play this song again for me."
