A Lessened Loneliness

(Based on BBC's 2009 Emma Adaptation)

In all of her memories as a child, the face most often in its reflections, besides her father of course, was Miss. Taylor. If she fell in her playing it was Miss. Taylor who inspected her injuries, soothing them with a touch of balm or a quick kiss as necessary. It was Miss. Taylor who encouraged her pursuits or at the very least kept her on a determined path of continued learning as a girl. Miss. Taylor would put her to bed at night and wake her for breakfast each morning. And as she grew older, it was Miss. Taylor who became her walking companion, taught her etiquette and prepared her for her first ball.

It had only been moments since the older woman's departure, the carriage having only just driven out on its way to Randall's. It was but a half mile away from her own home and Emma was quite pleased at her former governess finding such a happy situation- a husband and home of her own. Although, with the wedding party all now returned home she had not fully appreciated the consequences of such a change.

Her and father had adapted to Isabella's move to London many years before with little ill effects but to lose another person from within its walls...

Her father retired to the fire as soon as propriety allowed but she could not sit with him as yet. Her spirit was much too restless at present. Without thought, she allowed her slippers to determine her path and they lead her up the stairs...and directly to Miss. Taylor's old chamber.

Everything was as it had always been when her governess resided there. All her personal items had been removed to her new residence before the ceremony but the room still seemed alive with her presence.

The unpleasant sensation she had warded off during the events of today came back with so great an intensity that she found her feet momentarily affixed to the floor.

Miss. Taylor would not be at their table unless in the company of her husband. She would not be ready at a moment's notice to walk into the village or take a turn around the gardens. Her canvas would not be set next to her own for painting. She would not have another to ask advice on matters of the heart.

With great reluctance, she moved away from the chamber. However, the upper floor provided many spaces for the past to interpose on the present. In the hall across, her and Isabella had spent many happy hours with their dolls and it was one such recollection that she now viewed before her. Two young girls, heads close with a toy between them, speaking softly. The older of them guiding the smaller away at the urging of Miss. Taylor, calling to them from below.

The house seemed to darken as she returned to herself and the breath seemed to leave her.

She had been so resolute in her endeavours to match Miss. Taylor with Mr. Weston...she had not considered...

How she was to manage without her.

She now saw Hartfield through the haze of loneliness. It was confining, solitary.

She had relied on Miss. Taylor for so much. To picture her no longer owning such a position of intimacy in her life was... troubling. Distressing enough to bring tears to her eyes.

Before her musings could cause further distress, she turned to the window overlooking their gardens. And it was there, she saw a most welcome and familiar figure.

She waved enthusiastically to their guest and found her prior feeling of sadness greatly diminished. If she was keen to imagining, she would have said he had read her very thoughts and ventured the walk with the purpose of seeing to her, and her father's, welfare.

Mr. Knightley returned her gesture and Emma knew, whatever his design in coming, she could not be more happy to receive him.

As sore as she was to lose the immediate companionship of her governess, she was not without friends. Mr. Knightley had always been her friend.

It was then that Emma Woodhouse determined she would not but her skills of matchmaking to work on Mr. Knightley. She would do nothing to jeopardize their association.

In that way, she would be assured of always having him as a friend...

And she would have no cause to feel alone.