A/N:This is a little angsty Tess-centric fic that I started a long time ago. It was a little story idea that occurred to me when I was writing a lot of Camp Rock stuff. I figured I would post it now since it's been sitting finished in a folder for awhile. It's not quite M, more like T+ for implications of sexual content. Enjoy! R&R! -Mac
Disclaimer: I don't own Camp Rock.
Made Her Bed
Action is called and Tess is suddenly keenly aware of one simple truth: she is screwing her director.
She forgets where she is for a moment, missing her cue, and said director has to call cut. Tess watches as he pushes himself out of his chair and crosses the set to stand in front of her. She thinks maybe she should explain herself, but no sound leaves her lips.
"Tess, darling," he crosses his arms as he stares down at her. Tess notices the day old stubble growing in around his jaw line and focuses on the lower half of his face as he speaks. "Where is your head?"
The real Tess Tyler deep inside of her wants to make a snide remark about how her head is right where it is supposed to be above her neck and shoulders, but when one is a young actress who is sleeping with her director, there are two unspoken rules: tell no one and don't talk back. Her inability to produce any words is to her advantage after all. She stares at him blankly and waits for him to continue.
He sighs and runs a hand over his unshaven chin, "Everyone break for lunch—" Tess starts to move in the direction of the catering set up, but he stops her with a hand on her arm "—Tess, you're with me."
It is not the first time they have spent a lunch break in his secluded trailer. He has his excuses and explanations. His is helping her with lines. His helping her get into character. This time he is probably helping her find her head.
The door of the trailer closes behind them and he reaches for the buttons on her shirt.
They wrap for the day and Tess changes into her own clothes. She wants to go back to the hotel she's been living in, since the movie shot began, for a hot shower and a night cap. Her director catches up to her before she can get off the studio lot. He invites her back to his hotel room to work on an upcoming pivotal scene—his words are guarded in case anyone was listening, but his intentions were clear in his eyes—and she agrees because she has to. A third unspoken rule rears it's ugly head: once you're in, you're in. She follows him to his hotel and, once there, up to his room. While she gets her nightcap, her need for a hot shower to scour her skin only doubles. She lays in his bed, staring at the ceiling until his snores tell her he's asleep. Then, she slips out of the bed and gets dressed. Tess doesn't tell him she's leaving, she doesn't leave a note and she certainly doesn't intend on returning though she knows it isn't in her power to stop that from happening.
Tess escapes the hotel room as quietly as she can, padding out into the hallway with her heels in one hand. This is an occurrence she knows too well. The walk of shame and she are old friends. She wants to go home, not to her luxurious hotel room, but her real home is so far away.
Tess remembers when she decided that she could live with the fall out from earning her career in such a way. When she was just starting out, trying to transition from music to acting because she would be forever eclipsed by TJ Tyler if she stayed a singer, she was passed on for so many roles. She was too blonde, too uptight, too aloof, or two unyielding. When she tried to resolve those issues, she was too fake, too unbelievable, or too nice because she laid it on too thick. At the time, she tolerated her mother's criticism of her music because that was TJ's forte, but TJ's criticism of her acting or potential for success in the field was unbearable. Tess remembers the feelings of desperation that overwhelmed her. She thought she would do absolutely anything to prove to her mother that she could do it—she could make it big on her own. The first time a casting director implied that sexual favors wouldn't hurt her chances of a callback, she was offended. The second time, after a string of rejections, she wasn't as closed off tot he idea. Since then she has entered into a pattern she feels powerless to end. She remembers the first time and the thoughts that ran through her mind, but as clearly as she remembers it, she can't go back and change it. Remembering does her no good, so she tries to forget.
On the way out of the hotel, she can't resist stopping into the hotel bar fro another drink. Tess takes a seat on on one of the stools at the bar and signals the bartender to make her a drink. The bartender places the glass in front of her and she begins to sip off it. It only takes a matter of minutes for her head to be swimming. She prefers it that way. It keeps her from thinking about anything for too long. She can forget the world and who she is for a few brief moments.
A man slides onto the stool next to her and she fears the worst. She supposes she isn't lucky enough to elude her director for longer than she has so far. She keeps her eyes on the wooden bar top and kicks herself fro not leaving the hotel when she had the chance. When she finally looks up at the figure next to her, she finds it isn't her director, but she knew him just the same. He smiles at her and raises the glass he brought with him, but doesn't say a word.
"Nate?" Tess furrows her brow. "What are you doing here?"
"Having a drink. You?" Nate replies.
"Same," Tess says carefully. "I meant more along the lines of California. Last I heard, Connect 3 was in New York."
"Your sources aren't as good as back when we were dating," Nate says, "Though it probably is a good thing that our arrival in LA hasn't been splashed all over the tabloids. It would ruin the whole idea of having a secret wedding."
"Secret wedd—" Tess starts but Nate presses a finger to her lips.
"Shh," Nate says, "It's a secret. You can't repeat a word. Shane would kill me if it got out before the weekend is over."
"So, he and Mitchie are finally..." Tess trails off, "...you know?"
"Yes, they are. Jason and I, as Co-Best Men, got a room here for a small bachelor party," Nate explains. "Everyone else has hit the sack, so I decided to sneak down here for one more drink. And who should walk in no less than two minutes later, but the amazing Tess Tyler herself, shoeless like a modern day Cinderella."
"I am not shoeless," Tess lifted her heels off the stool on the other side of her. "I am barefoot."
"What are you doing here, Tess?" Nate asks. Even with her vision a little cloudy, she can see concern on his face.
Her usual cover story is on her lips, but another look at Nate's face and the truth comes out. "Can you keep a secret?"
"I'm doing so well with Shane and Mitchie's thing. Why not add another to the pile?" Nate says.
"I'm here, because I just left my director's room," Tess says.
"At this time of night?" Nate frowns. "What were you doing there?"
Tess levels a pointed glare at him and she sees the realization cross his face. He starts to sputter a response, but she speaks over him, "We have an agreement."
"I didn't expect that from you, Tess," Nate gulps down most of his drink. "You were so dead set on gaining success without any outside influence. You wanted stardom based on your own talent."
"Turns out my talent wasn't enough," Tess drinks down her own drink, leaving only a couple sips and a few cubes of ice at the bottom of the glass. "Or rather, some of my other talents had a little more persuasive power than my acting skills."
Nate is quiet and she almost regrets saying anything. Still there is a weight off her shoulders that some else knows, even if that someone else is her ex-boyfriend that she hasn't spoken to in almost a year. Tess isn't sure if she likes seeing her present self through Nate's eyes. She thinks she would rather find a way to preserve in his mind the pristine image of her from the days when they dated as teenagers. Back when she was a semi-good girl—in comparison to the girl she is now—and had never thought about doing what she does now. Nate is the one person she has never lied to. It may have been better to omit such information, but it is out now and she can't take it back—just like she can't take back the actions themselves.
"You don't need to do that, Tess," Nate says finally. "It's a tough business, but you really are talented. You could get by on your own merits, without all this, I know it."
"It's too late for that, Nate," Tess shrugs. "My entire acting career has it's foundation balanced precariously on a quickie in the backseat of a casting director's car. I've passed up the chance to mess with the status quo."
Nate hesitates, takes in a deep breath, and finally says with a weak smile. "You could always come back to music."
Tess laughs lightly.
"I'm serious," Nate laughs with her. "I know a guy. He's a member of this really famous trio. He could definitely help you out. He wouldn't even require a quickie in his backseat—though he would not be opposed to one. He would probably want me to mention that his backseat is in a limo, if that makes any difference."
Tess puts a hand over her mouth to stifle her continuing laughter. "Oh, why did I ever break up with you, Nate?"
"I don't know," Nate says. "Really, I don't know. You didn't actually give me a reason. You just stopped answering my calls, stopped calling me, and I never saw you with the distance. When we finally started talking again, you acted like we never dated at all."
"I'm sorry, Nate," Tess says. It's not enough and it's not an explanation, but it's all she has left. She feels a little dizzy and she figures it's about time she calls it a night. "I should be going."
"You deserve better, Tess," Nate says when she remains in her seat without moving for a couple minutes. "I know you think it was a joke, but I would help you out if you wanted me to. It might seem like a hand out or something you didn't earn, but I think that would be a hell of a lot better than this."
"I'll think about it," Tess says.
There it is, the last straw on the pyre of her eternal damnation: the first time she lies to Nate. He's right, a little charity would be a lot easier to swallow down than her current arrangement, but easier or not, it's not going to happen. Despite her revelation, Nate still sees her as the girl he loved years before. Tess isn't that girl anymore, and she's let him see enough of the girl she is now. So, when she stands to leave the hotel bar, she kisses Nate on the cheek and resolves to not take him up on his offer. She has made her bed, and she'll lie in it, no matter who she has to share it with.
-fin-
