The lights burn dim. A solitary figure stalks the shadows. His fingers twitch involuntary as he considers that which lurk in the foreboding darkness. The yellow eyes peering at him from the darkness of shadow, strike fear into his heart.

With one hand involuntarily going over his chest in some futile effort to protect his heart from those that would quench their hunger on it, the other goes for his weapon.

Under his cloak, he palms the hilt of his cherished and sacred weapon: The Keyblade.

He wraps his fingers around the velvet hilt and pulls it free from it's place, neatly tucked inside his cloak.

The silver shaft reflects the dying light from the candles as they threaten to be extinguished by a draft somewhere further down the hall.

The reflected light glows brighter and brighter until the Keyblade appears to shine like a second sun.

The candles immediately extinguish, leaving the keyblade as the only light in the otherwise pitch black hallway.

The yellow eyes move in, surrounding the Keyblade wielder. A sly smile parts his lips as he gets ready to fight his greatest adversary yet!

MOVE OVER RED EYES! THE KEYBLADE WIELDER FIGHTS!

A dainty hand snaps on the light switch, chasing away the darkness and leaving the illusion behind to reveal the truth.

"SOOOO~RA! Supper's ready! Stop playing with your dollies and come eat before it gets cold."

A cat's musical meow serves as the hammer to dash away all fear.

As a Meow Wow, a Chef Kyroo, a Ducky Goose, an Escarglow, an Icequin Ace, a Jestabocky, a Komory Bat, a Kooma Panda, a Majik Lapin and a Necho Cat are all revealed in the light along with a Peepsta Hoo, it becomes perfectly clear this isn't the Kingdom Hearts you were expecting.

Yeah... me neither.

"Coming, Mom!" Sora says, throwing off his house coat and trotting along in his bare feet, beige shorts and white sleeping t-shirt.

These are the off days for an established hero.

Having saved all the worlds from a fate worse than death, Sora retreats to the dining room table where a bowl of Fruit Loops are waiting in a bowl next to a jug of milk.

Tossing the Keyblade to the side like a discarded relic from more vital days, (you can get them a dime-a-dozen now at Eraqus' Keyblade Emperium anyway) Sora scoots up into his chair and grabs his spoon.

THE WEAPON OF CHAMPIONS!

Brandishing a potent attack power of one and a magic boost of a mere negative one, the spoon offers a critical hit surplus unlike any other when used against food-like enemies, particularly those already trapped by a bowl!

...Yeah... this is pretty ridiculous isn't it.

I uh... need a new agent.

Maybe I'm not the only one.

Sora looks up with a questioning look as his cheeks are puffed out with milk and potentially harmful, sugar-packed cereal.

Yeah, maybe that's the company's problem.. too much brightly colored sugary treats.

I pass in my resignation and it gets neatly rolled up and stuffed into a Pooh-stick. The mailman, a fellow named Roo, takes it and sets off to deliver it to its final destination: The Fellowship of the Pooh.

THE END!

OH THANK GOODNESS! GET OFF ME MEOW WOW! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU EAT! RAINBOW COVERED -!