Author's note: Just an idea which popped into my head following Doppelganger and while mulling over my increasing facination with Major Evan Lorne, a great character who seems totally underutilised throughout the series.
Also, just in case anyone is confused, anything in italics are memories or dreams.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, please don't sue.
The Sleepwalking Incidents
Evan never sleepwalked anymore. It had been common when he was a child, particularly when he'd had too much sugar before bed or was particularly stressed, but perhaps surprisingly it had only happened once on Atlantis.
That was over a year ago now and in absence of any crystalline demons or another form of alien possession, he hadn't really expected it to happen again. Which is why he was so shocked to wake up and find himself fully dressed, standing on the balcony down the hall from the infirmary. It was early morning, the sunlight just peeking above the water. It was incredibly peaceful, a visual that Evan would dearly love to have painted. But none of that explained how he had gotten here and why his mind had chosen now to start sleepwalking again.
Deciding that it was unlikely he was going to solve the matter standing there on his own, he wandered back along the corridors to his room, hoping to get a few more hours of shut eye before leaving with his team to explore M3X-157.
Two nights later, Evan was getting frustrated. He had just woken up in the exact same spot as the last two days. But that spot wasn't his bed, it was even in the same wing as his quarters. Yes, for the third night in a row, he had woken up on the balcony near the infirmary. Alone and with no apparent reason for being there. And damned, if it wasn't getting annoying.
Deciding that he needed to alert someone to the situation, just in case he did something stupid or dangerous during one of these episodes, he wandered down the hall towards the infirmary. He debated just going to Sheppard but knew that the Colonel would just send him down the infirmary anyway, so he chose to bypass that step. And if he got to see Jennifer on her own in the process, so much the better!
The infirmary was dark, with only one lone patient sleeping quietly in the far right corner. Evan was not surprised to find Jen hunched over her desk, focused completely on her paperwork. What did surprise him was the music she was playing in the background. He had never been a Tom Waits fan, but somehow the melancholy old style country music suited her.
"Hey doc"
Smiling as she recognised one of her favourite patients, Jennifer rose, "Come for a chat again Major?"
"Huh? No, well, see its a bit complicated doc."
"Are you hurt? What's wrong?" she rushed to his side, seating him in front of her desk, fingers itching to examine him. "Why didn't you say anything earlier?"
"I'm fine doc. Its just … well, do you remember when Col Sheppard touched that crystal thing and we all had those nightmares?"
"Yeah"
"Well, my nightmare was different cause I was sleepwalking and confronted the Colonel, accused him of being a Replicator."
"Yeah, I remember Evan. But what does that have to do with now?"
"I've started sleepwalking again."
"Oh. Well, that's odd but not nearly as bad as it could be," teeth chewing on her lower lip, she asked, "any idea what prompted it?"
"No idea. It started three days ago. I keep waking up…
"On the balcony down the hall?" she whispered.
Raising his eyes sharply to hers, he was shocked to hear her finishing his sentence. "How the hell did you know that?"
Blushing Jennifer turned away briefly. God this was awkward! How could she explain that he had been meeting her on the balcony, that they had been talking, sharing… and flirting. It hadn't gone beyond that yet, though lord knows she wanted it to, but he always seemed to hold back. This was probably why, he hadn't even been awake! How is it possible she hadn't noticed?
Settling on a partial truth, Jennifer said, "I met you on the balcony the other night. We talked for a bit and then I left to come back here. I didn't even realise you were sleepwalking. You seemed slightly different but I just assumed it was the lack of sleep and the stress. I'm so sorry, I didn't…"
"There's no way you should have known."
"Why did it take you three days to say something?" she asked abruptly.
"I don't know, I just… I don't know why its happening and I kept thinking that it would stop."
"But it hasn't."
"Nope. And I needed to tell someone before I did something stupid or dangerous."
Reaching out her hand, she squeezed his gently. "Don't worry Evan, we'll figure this out. And in the meantime, I can give you some very nice sleeping pills so you can get some rest."
"Ah doc. I knew I came to you for a reason. You control the good drugs!" he laughed, feeling better now than he had in days.
Having given Evan the sleeping pills and sent him back to his quarters, Jen sat herself in her office and tried to remember as much detail as she could above the conversations she had had with Evan the last few nights.
The first time it happened she had been surprised to see him. She was working midnights this week trying to catch up on paperwork and had taken a break from staring at her computer. She had always loved that balcony and the view it provided over the city. At daybreak it was the most beautiful place she had ever seen and visiting it had become a regular activity whenever she was on shift or particularly stressed.
Sitting quietly with her cup of coffee, Jen was surprised to hear shuffling behind her. Turning, she saw a very casually dressed Major Lorne. It was the first time she had seen him so relaxed, his earth clothes made him look younger, softer almost. He seemed less the intergalactic warrior and more like the high school quarterback who was still way out of her league.
"What brings you here Major?"
"Evan please. Couldn't sleep. Thought a walk might help."
"Ok Evan it is. But only if you call me Jennifer."
"Deal" he said, smiling. "You working?"
"Yeah, just taking a break. I love it out here, so peaceful."
"Yeah, reminds me a little of the sunrises back home over the water. I always used to get up early to watch in the summers. Drove my parents crazy when they woke up and couldn't find me."
Laughing, she smiled at him, his childhood sounded so similar to her own in some ways. "I remember times like that. I didn't wander off to watch the sunrise, but I always used to run away into the woods outside our house when things got to be too much... After my mother died, I spent so much time out there, I think my Dad thought I had a whole other life. I got good at being outdoors, not that you could guess from any of my off-world missions!"
"True" he laughed, "you have quite a jinx. The betting pool for your next adventure is already in double digits!"
Her silence worried him, "I'm sorry Jen. I didn't mean to offend you. Its actually a really great morale booster for the guys, to have something to laugh about. And you know every one of them would come running if anything ever did happen. No one's laughing at you."
"I know Evan, its ok." she said. "It's just… I hate that I'm so awkward on missions, that I put other people at risk."
"You don't though. You're a doctor, that's your job. Its our job to protect you, no matter what. Besides, its not like you are the only one who gets into trouble." Lowering his voice to a whisper, he leaned in, saying "I have it on good authority that there is an even larger betting pool going on SGA1's missions."
Blushing at his proximity and the lower register of his voice, Jennifer unconsciously leaned into him, "that's good to know Major. Any idea if I can get some of that action?" she asked, drawing out the final word as she licked her lips gently.
Captivated by the sight of the tip of her pink tongue, Evan completely lost the train off the conversation. Coughing and righting himself, he mumbled, "Sure. I'll let you know next time things get going."
"Great. I should probably be getting back to the infirmary. Get some rest Evan."
"Night Jen".
The following two nights, she had met him out there, the same excuse that he couldn't sleep. They had talked and laughed, sharing stories of their childhood. He told her about basic training and she talked about medical school. He told her about the pranks he and his team played, particularly the ones on SGA1.
Their chats had only lasted a few hours all together but she had felt something for him in that time. The spark between them had been there since she arrived but had remained largely unexplored as they never had much cause to interact outside of the usual post-mission physical. As the months had passed, she had thought perhaps they were making progress and then the fake quarantine had happened and well Ronon had happened. She had been distracted, he had backed off and although the moment with Ronon had faded into a fond memory she hadn't been sure that things with Evan would get back to the tentative place they had left off at.
She had been hoping that these last few morning were going to prove her wrong. And now she knew that he had been sleepwalking. He hadn't remembered any of their conversations. He had no memory of the tingling as he brushed his arm against hers, the spark as they had stared into each others eyes just a moment too long, the feeling of his hand holding hers. It was all gone, or rather it had never really existed for him. And now she had no idea what to do.
Obviously the sleepwalking was a problem by itself which needed to be solved. He couldn't go off world and go wandering off into danger. And he would never forgive himself if he hurt anyone on Atlantis.
Sighing, Jennifer rose from her seat and returned to her paperwork. She was nearly done, would get some sleep once her shift ended and then start on her research in earnest tomorrow.
The next afternoon found Jennifer pouring over psychological textbooks and notes from Dr Heightmyer's work on Atlantis. She had confirmed her suspicions that the sleepwalking was most likely psychologically based and that there was some trigger which remained unknown. Evan hadn't been on any particularly harrowing missions recently, well at least no more harrowing than normal and he hadn't been injured. She was at a loss for a medical treatment. The only suggestion so far which seemed to have any merit was to try to identify the trigger and resolve that issue, hoping that the sleepwalking would then take care of itself.
'But how can I figure out what the trigger is?' she thought.
Hypnosis might be one possibility but she wasn't exactly qualified. 'Perhaps meditation would work instead?' she thought. Chewing on her lower lip, Jen contemplated the options, quickly deciding that Teyla would be the best person to ask. Jen knew she would help if she could and could be trusted to keep sensitive information to herself if necessary.
Evan was nervous, though he wasn't entirely sure why. When Jen had proposed meditation and explained her theory about a trigger this afternoon, he knew it made sense. And it made sense to have Teyla guide him through it. But the niggling in his gut remained. He was almost scared of what he would find, hating that his mind and body were keeping secrets from his conscious self.
Reaching the gym, Evan was unsurprised to find Teyla already in place and the darkened room only lit by candles. The soft background music was supposed to be soothing he imagined, though it was doing little to calm his nerves.
"Welcome Major. Please come in."
"Oh… yes, of course. Thank you for helping me with this Teyla."
"It's alright Major, I am happy to help. Dr Keller is worried about you."
"Yeah… me too" he admitted self consciously. Evan sat quietly on the mats trying to mimic Teyla's position and took several deep breaths to clear his mind.
"Excellent Evan. Now to get started we are going to do some rhythmic breathing and while you are doing that I want you to focus on something peaceful, an image or a memory. Just something that makes you feel safe and calm. Do you have something?"
"Yeah" he whispered as he pictured the balcony by the infirmary where he had been waking up recently. The view and the fresh air off the water were incredibly relaxing.
"Good. Now focus on that image and breath with me."
Focusing on the balcolny, Evan slowly began to feel himself slipping, almost like falling asleep but different. He was still conscious and could hear Teyla speaking to him.
"Very good Major. Now I want you to tell me about where you are."
"I'm on the balcony by the infirmary."
"Is there anyone with you?"
Looking around Evan was surprised to see that he was not alone. "Jennifer is here."
"How does that make you feel?"
"Peaceful. Happy."
"Do you know why you are here?"
"To see her. Have to see her. Miss her." he whispered. Continuing to breathe, he goes quiet, conversations filling his head, conversations with Jennifer. He sees her smile at him, reaches out for her as her images fades away. Only now he isn't on the balcony anymore, he is a wood.
Dressed in BDUs and armed to the teeth, he is stalking his prey. She is in danger, he can feel it.
Creeping along through the trees, Evan spots her about 20 years ahead in a clearing. Her hands were bound and her three captors were well armed. Making his way to the edge of the clearing he waits, trying to come up with a plan, he had to get her out of here.
His comm activated and he heard Sheppard's voice. "Hold your position Major. We're nearly in position, we just need a distraction so Ronon and I can get to her."
"I'll distract them" he whispered.
"Okay, whenever you're ready Major."
Rising, Evan lifted his weapon and walked into the clearing, drawing the attention of Jen's captors. They locked in on his position, weapons raised.
"That the best you've got? How you going to save her all on your own?" their leader laughed.
"I think of something" he growled, desperate to keep their attention on him long enough for the Colonel to intervene. The barbarians laughed, certain that they now had two hostages to ransom. As they moved forward to circle him, Evan retreated slightly, drawing them forward. Once they had stepped just far enough away from Jen, Evan saw the Colonel and Ronon at the back of the clearing, moving towards Jennifer.
Taunting the barbarians, Evan held his position, daring them to come closer. Three guns were trained on him at that moment and he knew that at least one of them would likely shoot him as soon as Jennifer was free. Raising his voice, he said, "Does it really take three of you to take down one man? How pathetic?"
Growling the leader aimed his gun, making ready to shoot. But abruptly he stopped, a sound to the back of him raising an internal alarm. Turning to see Jennifer leaving the clearing, he swung around firing off a shot before Evan could react. Evan's mind screamed as he saw the blood well pour from Jennifer's chest and he fired on the remaining men in quick succession, taking them all out before rushing to her side.
The Colonel and Ronon were already beside her, having taken out the third captor, and were putting pressure on the wound. Barely concious, Jennifer tried to re-assure them all. "I'm ok. Its just a scratch, honest."
"No doc. Its pretty serious. You lie still while we go get the jumper" Sheppard replied.
Evan's head swam as he saw the blood seeping from around the edges of the compress. She was loosing too much blood. "Just hold on Jen. Just a few more minutes."
"Can't…" she whispered. "So sorry."
"No Jen. Hold on" he cried out over and over as her breath left her body and her eyes closed.
The scene in his head ending, Evan could hear Teyla's voice speaking. "Evan, you need to keep breathing. Just relax." Teyla said softly. He had been silent for several minutes, clearly lost in his dream like state. She was beginning to get nervous as his body became more and more agitated. She was sure he was still out but whatever he was seeing was making him very upset. Abruptly he calmed, his breathing regularised. Thank goodness, she thought, he was coming out.
Opening his eyes, Evan found himself back in the gym. His muscles were cramped as if he had been sitting for several hours but the images in his head and the feelings they had evoked were as fresh as if they had happened a moment ago. The panic he had experienced when Jen had been shot had been far too real as had the anguish at the thought of loosing her forever.
The experience in the clearing was not a dream but a warped memory, a twisted version of what had actually happened on a planet less than a week ago. In reality he had been able to save Jennifer without injury, but it had been a damn close call, too close. Clearly his subconscious mind was having trouble dealing with the incident, it was calling out to him to see her, to confirm that she was indeed alright.
Rising, Evan knew several things:
He cared far more than he realised for Atlantis's CMO.
He had suppressed his feelings for her for far too long.
And the only way the end the sleepwalking was going to be telling her.
Thanking Teyla for her help, grateful she had not asked him to share his visions, Evan left the gym. It was late in the evening but he knew Jen wasn't on shift until midnight so he wandered towards her quarters, hoping to catch her in private.
As he ran his hands over her door sensors, he shuffled nervously. He really hoped this would end well. If his memories from the balcony were real, which he had a feeling they were, then she was most likely going to be receptive to him. If not, well… he didn't really want to think about that right now.
Jen opened the door, dressed in gray house pants and a fitted jersey top. She was surprised to see Evan there but pleased as well. "Come in" she said smiling. "I take it you've just finished with Teyla?"
"Yeah" he said, standing awkwardly in her room, hands in his pockets.
"Did it help? Did you figure out what the trigger was?"
"Yeah... it was you."
"What? How am I the trigger?"
"I think I remember us on the balcony together, when I was sleepwalking. That we talked and stuff. Was that real?" he asked.
"Yeah," she answered nervously. "But that couldn't be the trigger. That happened after you started sleepwalking."
"I know" he explained, unsure of how to continue. "Its just… last week, when we were on M36-415 and you got captured… I was so scared I'd lost you. I kept dreaming that you had actually been shot, that you'd bled out in front of me and it freaked me out… Jen I care about you so much. I just… I couldn't handle loosing you. And the fear, that was the trigger. I would dream that you were hurt and I needed to see for myself that you weren't. So apparently I came looking for you and found you out on the balcony… I know it probably doesn't make much sense… I just…"
Jen stood, rooted to the spot as Evan spoke. He remembered… he cared for her… it was real.
As Evan spoke, he got more and more agitated and had begun to pace. Absorbing his words, her heart soaring with possibility and hope, Jen moved to stand in front of him, forcing him to face her.
"Evan, calm down. I'm here and I'm fine. I'm sorry I scared you out there… I was scared to. But you saved me."
"I know. I just… it took… it took nearly loosing you to realise how I felt" he choked out, feeling the emotion pressing against him, desperate to be unleashed.
"I care about you too Evan. I want to explore what this could be. I was so disappointed in the infirmary when I realised you didn't remember our conversations. I had been hoping that maybe it could be the start of... something."
"I want it to be Jen" he said, his hands reaching out for her hips, pulling her against his body. "I want this… you… us, all of it."
"Me too Evan" she whispered, turning her face up to his, leaning in. With a sigh, she was overwhelmed by the feeling that this moment had been coming for a long, long time. Perhaps even since she had first arrived on Atlantis. It was right, it was … exquisite, she thought as his lips finally brushed hers.
It was the last thought either of them had for quite a while after that, their bodies exploring for the first time what their hearts had known all along.
THE END.
