Let me just start by saying this...euuughh. Really. These days, that word is a staple in daily vocabulary. Since she showed up here, daily life has turned more from "Will I ever get laid?" to "I hope I live to see exvirginity days." Buffy. Friend, hot chick, vampire slayer? What is a vampire slayer, you may ask? Well, basically...she kills things that are not with the good. The ungood, in fact. She slays them, then sometimes she slays them again, but only the particularly pesky ones.

"Hiya Xand. What's up?" Ah, you perky little minx, you. Melt me again, why don't you?

"Hey Buff. Just waiting on good old Giles here to give us the lowdown on a pretty little evil for you to beat into a fluffy little kitten." Way with words? Who me? Surely you jest.

"Ah. Great." Rawr, I tell you. That's my Buffy.

But then, it's Captain Tweed to the rescue. To the well thought out, articulated, and particularly stuffy rescue. This guy is just full of the old fun. He can swoop in just in time to make Christmas seem like, oh I dunno, not Christmas? He has the big bad news on the big bad thing-that-Buffy-fights-while-I-remain-unconscious today.

"Ah, I see you have all made it here, unharmed. Am I to assume that patrolling went well last night, Buffy?"

"Peachy keen, dusted a few vamps. Made it home by Conan."

Buffy is sitting on the table in some sex on a stick outfit. A black skirt, or is it brown? Is it a skirt? She's wearing clothes? Who cares. She has a very lucky lollipop in her mouth. Oh Blo-Pop, how I envy you. Hehe. Blo-pop. You know, like...oh forget it.

Willow, best buddy, goddess of all that is educational, and bubbly nerdiness that rivals my own. Yeah, she's here too. I've known her since she and I decided that play-doh pizza didn't taste as good as it looks.

Everyday in the library is a rip-roaring good time. There is some light banter, things that involve weaponry, and sometimes we have doughnuts. Today being no exception of course, except no doughnuts.

"So, Buffy," I say, absolutely NOT staring at her breasts, " Bronzin' it tonight? Or should we do the usual chopping things to bits with our shiny knives?"

"Actually, Buffy, I thought you should patrol tonight. If the vampire activity is as you say, then you should go out again tonight. Maybe you should take Angel." G-man, you always come through to stomp the plans. But did you really have to bring that guy into it? Guh, Angel. I hate that guy. With his brooding and leather, and that total undead thing that makes the girls go crazy. I mean what's he got that I don't? Oh yeah. That broody leather undead thing. Remind me to work on that.

"Okay. I do a quick sweep, then we hit the Bronze." Great idea, Buff.

Giles just hates it when fun is involved. There just isn't enough stuffy research and shiny death prophecies in the world for this guy. You can tell by the fact that he is cleaning his glasses that he is not pleased that fun has reared its ugly head again. Bloody fun, right Giles?

"Alright, so we hit the cemetery, roll some heads, then we party at the Bronze. Great! Can I carry the ax? I like the ax." Big stick with slicey metal. Give me manliness or give me death. On second thought, I'll pass on the death.

"Sure thing, Xand. Then you can cut down some trees while we are there. Who needs them?"

"Ah, I help when I can."

Class time, bell ringing. Time for me to curl up in my cozy desk, open a book, and use page 138 as a pillow. Seven hours, 35 minutes until next big mission, did I mention that I get to use an ax? Danger is my middle name. Except that it's really LaVelle, but I'd like it if you kept that one to yourself.