(Disclaimer: I own nothing. This story "came" to me as I was in the shower. So, I hurried out, threw some clothes on [I quite literally threw them on, as I am now wearing a pajama top and baby-blue sweatpants] and got typing. Ah, inspiration strikes at the oddest time.)
I knew it was hard for him, to see me and Dean like that. Hell, it was hard for me to see him seeing me and Dean. I watched as he would quicken his pace down the hall. I'd watch as he'd turn the other way. I'd watch when he gave me almost pitying looks.
I asked Ron what was going on with Harry, but he just shrugged. I knew he was lying. I also knew that Ron would find it odd if I dated his best friend. I didn't quite understand why, but he had told me so one day over the summer.
Personally, I thought that was silly. Honestly, I didn't have a problem with him following my friend, Hermione, with a lovesick expression. But either way, I had said "Yes" when Dean asked me to go out with him.
I thought I had fallen "out-of-love" with Harry, but when I saw him, the butterflies in my stomach took flight. He was watching me. Watching me with those intense, green eyes. I knew why, too.
I was untouchable. He didn't want me when he could have had me, but now, I was no longer available. All guys are like that. Michael Corner watched me and Dean, too. But while Michael's actions made me sick, Harry's intrigued me. I knew that I was looking for love in all the wrong places, but still...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dean is talking to me, and I'm pretending to listen. I smile and nod. That is the way our conversations go now. He talks. I smile. Smile. Nod. Nod. Smile. Giggle. Nod. He tells me he has to go to Divination, and kisses my cheek. I smile, and nod. He walks away, and I wave cheerily, my perma-smile fixated on my face.
I turn to hurry back to the Common Room because I have a free. I scurry down the hall, eyes on my feet. I crash into something very solid, and drop my books. "Sorry," I mutter, without making eye contact. I hastily shove books into my bag, and the other person puts their fingers under my chin, and push it upward so I am forced to look at them.
It's Harry. I knew it would be. But he's smiling. It strikes me as odd. "Need help, Ginny?" he asks kindly, handing me my Transfiguration book.
"Thanks," I whisper, looking into his eyes. They're so green, they capture me and hold me. I almost feel panicked, like I'm lost, and running. I don't even realize I've stood up, until I look down and see that Harry is still kneeling, picking up my quill. He looks up at me, and stands, too.
"Ginny," he starts, but I shake my head feverently. He looks confused. "But-," he begins, and I quickly turn away. He places his hand on my shoulder. I surprise myself by making no move to shrug it off. "Ginny," he whispers in my ear, almost seductively.
I turn back towards him, tears welling up in my eyes. I don't say anything for about a minute, and neither does he. Then I find my voice. "No."
"'No' what?" Harry asks me. His eyes are on the floor.
"No, I can't talk to you, because then I'll...," my voice trailed off.
"You'll what?" Harry asked, kindly. He brushes at a tear that is trickling slowly down my cheek.
"Fallinlovewithyouandiknowishouldn't," I mumble.
"What?" he asks, smiling at me.
"Fall in love with you and I know I shouldn't." I can't believe I just said those words. I feel my face turn red. I hope that the groud opens, and swallows me up. I close my eyes, but nothing happens.
"I'm scared, too," I hear him say. He sounds embarrassed, frightened, but also a bit relieved.
"You-," I start, but he shakes his head. "But-," I try, but he reaches out, and puts a finger to my lips.
"Ginny, don't make this any harder. Don't go on and say 'if we're both in love, we can make it work'. We can't, all right? I'm with Parvati (a/n: I needed a girl that is neither Cho, Hermoine, nor Ginny at this point. lol. ), Ginny. You're with Dean. And I'm trying to get you the hell out of my head, 'cause, well...," his voice trails off.
"'Cause it would be weird to date your best friend's little sister," I blurt out. I feel another tear run down the side of my face.
Harry has a pained expression on his face. "Ginny, I-," he begins.
"You what!?!" I demand, angry. "Don't tell me you're sorry! I don't need to hear it!" I am well aware that many people are watching us, but I don't care anymore.
"Dammit, Ginny," he says. "Screw Ron. Screw him!" And then he leans in, and places his lips on mine. I kiss back, all the while scolding myself. I know I'm supposed to be the good girl, and tell him to stop. I'm supposed to say 'No, I can't do this.' I'm supposed to push him away, or tell him we should just be friends. I should, but I won't, because right now, I'm simply enjoying your lips on mine.
I knew it was hard for him, to see me and Dean like that. Hell, it was hard for me to see him seeing me and Dean. I watched as he would quicken his pace down the hall. I'd watch as he'd turn the other way. I'd watch when he gave me almost pitying looks.
I asked Ron what was going on with Harry, but he just shrugged. I knew he was lying. I also knew that Ron would find it odd if I dated his best friend. I didn't quite understand why, but he had told me so one day over the summer.
Personally, I thought that was silly. Honestly, I didn't have a problem with him following my friend, Hermione, with a lovesick expression. But either way, I had said "Yes" when Dean asked me to go out with him.
I thought I had fallen "out-of-love" with Harry, but when I saw him, the butterflies in my stomach took flight. He was watching me. Watching me with those intense, green eyes. I knew why, too.
I was untouchable. He didn't want me when he could have had me, but now, I was no longer available. All guys are like that. Michael Corner watched me and Dean, too. But while Michael's actions made me sick, Harry's intrigued me. I knew that I was looking for love in all the wrong places, but still...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dean is talking to me, and I'm pretending to listen. I smile and nod. That is the way our conversations go now. He talks. I smile. Smile. Nod. Nod. Smile. Giggle. Nod. He tells me he has to go to Divination, and kisses my cheek. I smile, and nod. He walks away, and I wave cheerily, my perma-smile fixated on my face.
I turn to hurry back to the Common Room because I have a free. I scurry down the hall, eyes on my feet. I crash into something very solid, and drop my books. "Sorry," I mutter, without making eye contact. I hastily shove books into my bag, and the other person puts their fingers under my chin, and push it upward so I am forced to look at them.
It's Harry. I knew it would be. But he's smiling. It strikes me as odd. "Need help, Ginny?" he asks kindly, handing me my Transfiguration book.
"Thanks," I whisper, looking into his eyes. They're so green, they capture me and hold me. I almost feel panicked, like I'm lost, and running. I don't even realize I've stood up, until I look down and see that Harry is still kneeling, picking up my quill. He looks up at me, and stands, too.
"Ginny," he starts, but I shake my head feverently. He looks confused. "But-," he begins, and I quickly turn away. He places his hand on my shoulder. I surprise myself by making no move to shrug it off. "Ginny," he whispers in my ear, almost seductively.
I turn back towards him, tears welling up in my eyes. I don't say anything for about a minute, and neither does he. Then I find my voice. "No."
"'No' what?" Harry asks me. His eyes are on the floor.
"No, I can't talk to you, because then I'll...," my voice trailed off.
"You'll what?" Harry asked, kindly. He brushes at a tear that is trickling slowly down my cheek.
"Fallinlovewithyouandiknowishouldn't," I mumble.
"What?" he asks, smiling at me.
"Fall in love with you and I know I shouldn't." I can't believe I just said those words. I feel my face turn red. I hope that the groud opens, and swallows me up. I close my eyes, but nothing happens.
"I'm scared, too," I hear him say. He sounds embarrassed, frightened, but also a bit relieved.
"You-," I start, but he shakes his head. "But-," I try, but he reaches out, and puts a finger to my lips.
"Ginny, don't make this any harder. Don't go on and say 'if we're both in love, we can make it work'. We can't, all right? I'm with Parvati (a/n: I needed a girl that is neither Cho, Hermoine, nor Ginny at this point. lol. ), Ginny. You're with Dean. And I'm trying to get you the hell out of my head, 'cause, well...," his voice trails off.
"'Cause it would be weird to date your best friend's little sister," I blurt out. I feel another tear run down the side of my face.
Harry has a pained expression on his face. "Ginny, I-," he begins.
"You what!?!" I demand, angry. "Don't tell me you're sorry! I don't need to hear it!" I am well aware that many people are watching us, but I don't care anymore.
"Dammit, Ginny," he says. "Screw Ron. Screw him!" And then he leans in, and places his lips on mine. I kiss back, all the while scolding myself. I know I'm supposed to be the good girl, and tell him to stop. I'm supposed to say 'No, I can't do this.' I'm supposed to push him away, or tell him we should just be friends. I should, but I won't, because right now, I'm simply enjoying your lips on mine.
