A/N: Hello all! This is just a little ditty I managed to cook up in about half an hour of boredom while I was on vacation. Any and all mistakes blame me for it because I did not send it through me Beta before posting. As for my other stories, sorry but they will remain in the dark until at least December, and that will be the earliest you will hear from me because as of right now I am entering panic time because test season is approaching.
I hope you all enjoy.
--Gaby
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PEACE
The soft light streaming into the room began illuminated the face Lisa Cuddy was studying. Asleep, it looked peaceful and calm, nothing like what it appeared once its owner awoke. The yellowing light of the afternoon sun bounced off the resting man's features, reminding her of the man he once was, and bringing out the man he had chosen to become. Nothing was normal, nothing was what it seemed. After all, what was to be expected of this man who lived his life with disregard to what the rest of the world felt?
She was tired of feeling guilty, of crying into the night, of loosing sleep because once more he had shown his asinine ways. What she needed was a week away from the melodrama and the havoc he wreaked, but no! God forbid she even think of taking a vacation and he was right beside her finding some excuse why she couldn't leave.
Why couldn't he make her life easier and leave her alone? Let someone else take all the problems in his life upon their shoulders. His life stopped being her responsibility too many years ago. And yet… maybe she couldn't let go either. Maybe she enjoyed being at the other end of that tether he pulled behind him. Maybe he was right when he said she was a masochist, because when it came to him she somehow always winded up with a new bruise and never complained.
Why did she have to let him run all over her? Why did she constantly allow this crippled man to control her life and never put a stop to his insanity?
She knew the answer to that question, and to all the ones before. But who was she to admit what the entire hospital already knew to be true?
No, Lisa Cuddy was nothing if not stubborn, ladies and gentlemen. She will not go down without a fight, even if it is a battle she will lose to herself. And inevitably she will have to give in to what her heart has been telling her since she was in college, but until then, let her fight to her mind's content. A semblance of happiness and complacency is better than nothing after all.
But, what if next time he pulls a crazy stunt like this one he really doesn't make it out alive and well? There are no guarantees in life, especially in his. A cat does only have nine lives, and curiosity has just about wasted all of most of his, if not all. No man is immortal, even if some doctors like to believe they are.
Sitting there, watching his sedative induced sleep keep him calm and safe, she couldn't help but wonder if maybe that curiosity of his didn't stem from somewhere other than a screwed up childhood. In college he had not been this destructive but had still had that inquisitiveness that made him search for all the answers. What happened to that man? Who took him away and replaced him with the one she now knew? Was she to blame for this, even if only in part?
This was a line of thought that had spun its path through her mind before, and only tears were borne from it. She lifted her hands to his head and began to comb his hair back with her small fingers. His salt and pepper locks wrapped softly around her digits, embracing her skin with their wisps. He began to stir under her hands ministrations but instead of pulling away as she had expected him to, he leaned in closer to her touch.
His course voice whispered out into the dusky room "Cuddy? That you?"
"Yeah, it's me. How're you feeling? Any pain?"
He shook his head in reply. "Thirsty."
She moved to get water for him, sticking a straw into the cup at the last minute. She helped him lift his head in order to reach the cup more easily then laid it back down gently. All the while, she couldn't take her eyes off his face. When his eyes met hers the world stood still. Neither could breathe for that instant.
He understood what that moment meant. He also understood why she had been the one to be there when woke up. She was always to one there when he woke up, no matter what, she was by his side. Even when he put her through hell, she was there. She shouldn't have to be there. She shouldn't have to worry about him. He wasn't her responsibility, nor was he hurting as much as Wilson was, but here she was.
"Why you here Cud…?"
"Who else is going to take care of your sorry ass?"
He closed his eyes and sighed. "Shouldn't be you. Go home."
She smiled at him and cupped his face. This was why she was here. Because even though she knew he was bad for her, even though nothing good ever came of her caring for him, she still could never leave him when he needed someone the most. She never could, and she never would.
"Of course it should. I'm the only one who will stick around for some reason. Don't try pushing me away now, you're weak and tired and cannot win a battle with me." She smoothed his hair back. "Go back to sleep. I'll wake you up for dinner and you can try to boss me around then."
She sat back down in her chair and grabbed his hand. Their fingers intertwined as they once did many years ago automatically. His head turned on his pillow and his eyes looked at her once more. Though he said not one word, his look conveyed what he felt at that moment… and she understood. Nothing else needed to be said, and nothing would. For now there was peace in their world and that was all that mattered.
