it was a dark and stormy night
"spcock i'm cold"
"I'll warm ye up captain" spcock answered ominously. "with my dick. vulcan dicks are approximately 11000 degrees hotter than your body."
"makes sense." jim said. he turned over to expose his buttocks
spcock purred loudly and thrust in deep, there was no pain, because vulcans have magic penises in actuality
he pounded into jim's asshole. "oh, oh oh," said jim, moaning loudly like a little whore.
"who's your daddy?" spock asked
"you are!" jim yelled
"that is illogical. george kirk is your father."
"why th fuck are you bringing up george kirk in the middle of sex?"
"because you touch yourself at night" spock replied.
"not to my dad."
"LIAR."
"okay, not ONLY to my dad. i have daddt issues okay. bones says it's because i was born in space and space is evil." jim rolled his eyes, shifting his body so that spock's dick fuck you jenn hit his prostate with every stroke. "i touch myself at night to you too. also sarek. also amanda. also winona. also bones. man bones is hot."
"It would be illogical of me to disagree. Leonard Mccoy is indeed hot."
"YOU'RE IN THE SICKBAY I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU DAMNED GREEN-BLOODED HOBGOBLIN," len yelled.
"why the fuck are we in sickbay?" jim asked.
"Because vulcan dicks are magic," Spock simply replied. "the magic might overwhelm the captain's puny human senses. i wanted to take all logical precautions."
"makes sense," bones said, throwing a hypo into the room with his hands over his eyes.. it somehow managed to hit jim in the neck and he screamed like a pussy. "proceed."
