Not Supposed To Happen
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
It wasn't supposed to end like this.
He refused to die like this. He refused to. He couldn't believe that here he was, humanity's strongest soldier, dying because the shitty brat couldn't get out of the way fast enough.
"Levi! Levi! Get him! Someone grab him before they get to him!"
He felt his body move, but his mind was somewhere else. How could this be the way that he died? He couldn't die. He was the only one keeping Eren in check.
He couldn't die.
His mind whirled at this thought. But why, he wondered. Why wouldn't he be able to die? Why shouldn't he die? Hasn't he served long enough?
Eren flashed before him. That damn idiot could barely keep himself alive without his help and the help of that little girlfriend of his…and he knew his reason. Eren was the reason he couldn't die.
If he died, then Eren's life would no doubt be in jeopardy since no one could retain him anymore. Levi damned Eren then, but he only damned Eren to a long life where he was still alive to protect the damn idiot until he could protect himself.
Because…that's how it works, right?
That's how it's supposed to work.
Levi heard more voices around him and he could vaguely feel his body being put down. He could feel the wet floor and wanted to shiver in disgust.
Disgusting, he thought. How fucking unclean. Who would think to put him on the disgusting, dirty ground? He was already pretty sure he was near death, but to top it off he's going to die on a dirty ground?
Not if he can help it.
"Holy…Levi?! W-what happened?"
Levi wanted to smirk, and then punch whoever said that. What do they think happened? Dumbasses.
"He…I wasn't fast enough and he saved me…"
Ah, that had to be Eren. Of course it was Eren. And of course he was beating himself up for it…well he should. It's his fucking fault that I can't properly beat the shit out of him right now to teach him a damned lesson! Although the brat does need to learn that I made my own decision so he shouldn't beat himself up so much and rather just move his ass a little faster….
The sound of a very loud voice interrupted him.
"Well somebody wake him up! We need him!"
"And how do you propose we do that?"
Levi knew that it was Hanji who spoke the second time, but he couldn't identify the first voice. Silence followed after that, and Levi once again found the urge to smirk, but once again he remembered that he could not move his body.
Stupid brat, he cursed in his head again. He felt a hand on his forehead, and he could vaguely feel someone move back his hair.
"Do you think he can hear us…?" That was Eren again. Levi wanted to shiver. He knew that the stubborn teen hadn't cleaned his hands today, and what did he even think he was doing in the first place?! Because oh yeah, just casually touch him without his permission! Damn shitty brat…
"Maybe, maybe not. Just depends on him, I suppose."
Levi was getting tired of being talked about when he was right here. Granted, they didn't even know if he was conscious but it still irritated him. Why couldn't they just—a searing pain shot through his neck and almost instantly did Levi feel an enormous sense of sleepiness.
In his mind, he could feel his eyes closing and his consciousness slowly drifting off right before…he could feel his hair being moved out of the way again. Out of the way of what exactly? Damn…brat…
"When will he wake up? It's been days." Levi's consciousness turned on like a light switch, and he could feel that he was no longer on a cold, disgusting, unworthy-to-hold-him floor.
"I don't know. He should be waking up soon though. He's not in a coma, just heavily "out-of-it" you could say."
"Yeah we know. You already said that," someone irritating mumbled, from what Levi could determine. Levi was already becoming highly pissed off with this whole situation.
"Well is he all right besides everything else?"
Silence.
"It's not definite that he will be all right. It appears that some of his internal organs were damaged when he saved that boy from being eaten. He will, however; definitely need to rest when he awakens. Of course, he is resting now, but even after this it still won't be enough rest time. He'll have to be off duty for while to recuperate if nothing else. However, it is far too early to know the outcome of his injuries."
Levi felt his whole world drop at that precise moment.
What did they mean he'll being taking off time to rest? His internal organs were damaged? Well why don't they fix it?
Levi wanted to hit himself for being so critical but this did not make him one bit happier. He mentally scoffed in his head at that. Who was he kidding? Happiness was practically unachievable in times like these. Anyone who said differently was either an idiot or in love, or maybe even an idiot in love.
There was just no denying it. So why would it be so bad to die again?
Once again, Eren's face flashed before him and Levi frowned. Was Eren really the only reason Levi was still hanging onto the thread of life, even if he was only hanging on with one pinky?
Why does he feel such a need to protect that damn brat? Yes, he knew it was his job and duty to make sure Eren stayed in line, but was that really one of the only reasons? He thought about it. About how almost every time he heard that Eren had somehow caused more trouble, he'd get a quick clenching in his heart, or when Eren was actually enjoying himself it made Levi, if just a little bit, happy. Levi thought about the urge to protect the teen and the urge to make sure he wouldn't die.
Was that normal for someone who was assigned to him just as a job? Then suddenly…it hit him like a ramming bull seeing the color red over and over again.
Now Levi was smart, he was, and he knew it too, but it was at times like these where he wished he wasn't.
Where he wished that he didn't have the probing curiosity to find out every little thing, even if it had to be done subtly.
So when he realized, he had never wished more than that moment that he wasn't smart.
That he wasn't curious.
That he didn't have the urge to find reason behind everything.
Because at this time, it was when he realized the horrible truth that even though he might not necessarily be happy he was one of them. He was one of those idiots.
Why was he an idiot? Well just because he realized it didn't mean he had to accept it.
Levi mentally groaned and once again shut off from the world.
The next time Levi woke up, he actually woke up opposed to his most recent consciousness's wakings. He also realized that a figure was sleeping, with his head buried in his arms, on his bed. Levi stared at Eren's hair and tried to control the sudden and ridiculous urge to touch it.
What is wrong with me? He thought. This was ridiculous. I just woke up! His gaze remained on the boy, however; and he couldn't help but smile.
Damn idiot, he thought. Sleeping so defenselessly when anyone could attack him.
Levi shifted, so that Eren wasn't touching his leg, but as he did an enormous pain shot through his entire body.
"Fuck," he groaned softly, closing his eyes. This shouldn't hurt that bad. He was humanity's strongest. He can get through this. It's just some internal bleeding, nothing too big. Hell, he could've lost a limb or even worse…one of the five senses.
No, he was lucky to still even be alive. Levi knew this, but Eren was not lucky because when he got better he was going to teach the brat a lesson.
An arm touched his shoulder, and Levi's flew open in shock to meet the startled and relieved gaze of Eren Jaeger.
"Don't look so fucking happy to see me awake brat," Levi said. Eren smiled but otherwise said nothing. Levi's eye twitched. "Your face is going to get stuck like that if you keep smiling like the dumbass you are."
Eren's smile grew just a bit wider before he finally said, "I'm glad you're awake sir…and…" he trailed off, causing Levi to raise an eyebrow. Now what was wrong with the boy? "And I'm sorry," he finally said.
Levi stared at him. Of course he still blamed himself. Fucking idiot. Levi continued to study him and he watched as Eren's eyes shifted down, as if ashamed. Levi rolled his eyes since Eren wouldn't see him do so. He looked down as well, studying where he was, but he noticed something else.
"Where's my cravat?" he asked, changing the subject. Eren looked back up at him, eyes widening.
Can this boy's eyes get any wider? Fucking shit he looks like some idiotic, pathetic, lost puppy. Of course, Levi did not voice his thoughts out loud as he waited for Eren to respond, but Eren seemed to be having trouble.
"Oh well it was dirty and…well it's drying off right now…and—"
"Never mind about it. Just return it as soon as it is done drying," Levi said, pretending not to notice the color of Eren's cheeks. After all, he was still denying anything of relation to this boy. Besides, it made sense that his cravat was to be cleaned. If he had woken up with it dirty, he knew that that would have irritated him more than being told it was being cleaned just for his benefit.
Before Eren could respond, the door was opened and in walked in a soldier who looked barely twenty.
"Is Lance Corporal Levi awake?" he asked, looking straight at Levi.
"Well aren't you observant," Levi mumbled before saying, "Yes, I am. Am I needed?"
The soldier nodded.
"Commander Erwin Smith requested to see you as soon as you woke up."
"Understood. Tell the commander I'll be there as soon as I am able to," Levi responded. The soldier saluted before leaving, taking Levi's response back with him. Levi turned to Eren who was staring at the door in which the soldier left.
"I suppose you're going to go run off and tell everybody that I'm awake now, so you might as well do it now."
This time Levi couldn't ignore Eren's obvious blush. Levi wanted to roll his eyes again, but he decided against it as he started to stand up. Eren jumped up in surprise as Levi struggled to stand.
"Corporal! Do you need help?"
"Absolutely fucking not," Levi hissed between his teeth. He may have hurt himself saving an idiot but there was no way he would allow himself to be treated like a fucking useless grandpa who needed crutches. "I am perfectly able of standing up by myself, Eren."
Eren only nodded and stood further back, but Levi could tell he was still keeping a close eye on him. After Levi finally managed to get up, he started towards the door, with Eren close behind him, but almost right before he pushed the door open again, the searing pain shot through the right side of his body and he fell. He could see the blurry image of Eren as the boy ran towards him, frantic.
Eren was screaming something at him but he couldn't tell. What the hell had happened?
Suddenly, Levi could feel himself bent over coughing madly. Blood poured out of his mouth and he couldn't stop. He couldn't stop the coughing no matter how much he willed it. Fucking damnit, he cursed inwardly to himself.
He could tell his vision was becoming more blurred and Eren's figure leaned down so that they were face to face. The irritating brat was still screaming about something. Fucking Christ, couldn't he shut up?
More footsteps soon came and Levi felt his body being lifted again and back into the bed. Levi's eyes flickered down slowly with Eren's eyes as the last thing he saw.
"And why was he trying to get out of bed in the first place?!"
Too much noise, Levi thought.
"He had to see Commander Erwin Smith about something, Ma'am."
Eren? Again? Didn't that boy have friends to go and play patty cake with?
"About what?!"
"I can't say, Ma'am. It wasn't elaborated," Eren said. Levi could feel his lips tugging up into a smirk. Fucking kid. He could hear the lady, he assumed it was a nurse, sigh.
"Fine. But just make sure next time he doesn't try and get up or a very similar episode of what just happened will happen again, but this time it will be much, much worse. Just watch him, okay, boy?" she asked. This was the time where Levi had to intervene.
"Excuse me, but I do not need a boy to babysit me when I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions," Levi said, finally opening his eyes. He squinted from the light that seeped in from the open windows. And why exactly did the windows need to be open? Levi thought irritably. The nurse frowned at him, probably at his choice of words and tone.
"Sir, you are not well and—"
"Yes, yes I am perfectly aware that I am not well. Anything else?" he snapped. The nurse looked appalled. Levi tried sitting up but once again the pain shot through his body and he shivered, gasping and coughing. Immediately the nurse's and Eren's hands were on him, supporting him as they slowly laid him back down.
"You need to rest Corporal," Eren told him.
Levi shot him an irritated glance. When did Eren start bossing him around?
Brat.
However Levi knew that what he said was true so he closed his eyes and tried to drift off. He could hear someone leaving based on their footsteps but he also realized it was only one person leaving. Levi didn't want to open his eyes and see Eren there. Besides he knew that if he asked the boy why he was still here, Eren would get that lost look and become all flustered, and eventually he would excuse himself with a mumbled apology.
And Levi didn't even want that. He was perfectly fine with having the boy stay here, and that's why he was an idiot. Levi let out a small sigh and finally decided to sleep.
Levi couldn't breathe as he woke up with a jolt. His eyes flinged open and he tried taking in a breath. Eren was still there, and he was waking up slowly but when he saw the state Levi was in he was immediately there to help him. Levi tried taking in a breath but he couldn't.
Was this how he was going to die? Not being able to breathe? Absolutely fucking not.
He tried again and this time the result was him coughing once more. Blood poured from down his mouth and Levi had a passing thought that that was disgusting, but he dismissed it.
Damnit, he thought cursing the entire situation. He could feel Eren's hands on his back and shoulders, and vaguely wondered why it seemed as if Eren was burning him. Levi's gaze was becoming more blurred and he knew what would happen next. He'd pass out again, and wake up later and the whole process would start again. Levi would not and could not stand for it.
He turned to Eren, refusing to lie down, and studied him. The brat had grown up since he met him but he was still a boy. Eren looked like he hadn't slept since a week and his eyes were lined with worry. Levi frowned. He had suspected Eren's feelings long ago, but that didn't mean he had to accept it. And since Levi recently discovered his own, he definitely was not going to accept it.
More coughs soon racked his body and the blood continued to pour out. Levi's consciousness was slowly going down and this time Levi knew it wasn't sleep.
"Damnit. I'm too late," he muttered in between coughs. He knew he couldn't die like this but it seems like he would. He was losing too much blood and he knew that his insides were being destroyed ever so slowly just by walking, talking, breathing.
"Corporal! Please rest more! You'll be…f-fine if you just rest," Eren said, wide-eyed. "You can't die sir…you just can't."
Levi looked at him, still coughing up blood.
"Why aren't…you getting anyone?" he managed to gasp out, scrunching his eyes together. Eren looked down.
"Because I don't want you to die when I'm out getting others. I just don't think you should die alone if you are going to…die," Eren said. Levi continued to look at him, before his lips quirked up in a small smile.
"Brat," he said, before coughing more. The blood poured out endlessly and Levi could feel his eyes drifting shut. He wanted to tell Eren how he felt about everything, but he wouldn't. He knew he wouldn't. Besides, it would just make his death more painful.
He still couldn't believe that this was how he was going to die. Over a course of days he would die, and he didn't even get to see all those fucking monsters be destroyed.
He didn't get to see humanity rise up to where they once more and live.
He refused to believe it, but Levi knew that his mind had already accepted the straight facts. His soul, however; was still hanging on to that small thread of hope that maybe he would survive so he could kick the shit out of Eren like he promised himself.
"Eren," he said. Eren met his gaze as Levi somewhat managed to control the hacking coughs. "Just know that if you die, I'll be waiting to kick the shit out of you."
Levi saw the tears pricking at Eren's eyes, and he hated it. Stupid kid, crying for someone.
"Stop crying…shitty…" Levi's consciousness was slowly decreasing and his breaths were slowing down. He could barely breathe. Eren just stared at him, paralyzed. Paralyzed with what, he wondered as he felt his eyes close. No, he had to say it. He had to.
"…brat," he whispered. Levi smirked, but he didn't know if it showed on his face or not. All he knew that his last words were practically "Eren", and wondered if the teen knew it.
Fuck. I didn't want to die like this… I needed to protect him. I needed to protect Ere—
Fin
*Hey guys. So this is my first SNK fanfiic. I hope you liked it and if you have any comments, well reviews are much appreciated. Thanks for reading. :)
Bai guys
-DiAnna44 ;)
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