Disclaim: I do it because everybody else seems to! Not because I find it necessary. (Don't think a soul hasn't yet noticed that the wonderful world of HP is in fact NOT made up by me, but by the master-mind of J.K Rowling.)

.. I just make the chars do what I want 'em to..

Warning: If you somehow managed to "stumble" upon this fic and you find male X male action repulsive then.. err.. you're one sadistic little bugger!

On with the first fic I've ever written then shall we? excited

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"Come on Moony, we have to get you somewhere safe.. Comon we have to hurry!"

Sirius helped his weak friend's arm over his shoulders, carrying his weight as his own. Even in this fretful situation he couldn't help being amazed how light Remus felt leaning against him. His boyish body was so fragile. Remus moaned in obvious agony trying to repell the monster that was taking over him. 'Crap.' Sirius quickly came to his senses and they staggered on forward towards the Womping Willow.

Remus' voice was like a fading candle. "Dont leave me.. I- I cannot do this without you.. the though of you is the only thing keeping me sane."

Sirius felt like he'd been jabbed in his stomach. Probably Remus would never know how those words struck right into his heart. "I would never leave you, Moony. Ever."

Remus looked up at Sirius and smiled a weak smile. His face was paler, and somehow more beautiful, than Sirius had ever seen before. Yet Sirius could see the pain flickering in his eyes, amber versus the silvery gray that was the wolf in him, wanting to take control.

This wasn't the first time Remus had turned into a werewolf, and it would definitly not be the last, he thought, but it certainly seemed like the worst.

Until an hour or so, Sirius had thought, like James and Peter, that Remus had gone and taken his monthly retirement up in the Shrieking Shack. But he usually came by the dormitory to exchange the usual goodbye: "See ya next month then" he would say.

"Happy hunting", they all would reply.

He hadn't done so this month.

------------------ Earlier that night -----------------------------------

"It's strange don't you think!" Sirius was walking back and forth in the emptying Gryffindor Common room.

"Get of it Pads. He probably has a legit reason for not showing up to say the exact same thing he says every month. And sit down or I'll hex you! You're annoying the hell out of me." Sirius gave James a sinister glare that made Peter squirm in his chair, next to James.

"Yeah, but what if he's worse off and needs our help or something?"

"How much worse off can he be! He's a freaking werewolf, remember? Besides, James looked straight into Sirius' eyes, Moony is a big boy and he can take care of himself. He doesn't need you to cover his back all the time you know? He raised one eyebrow, still looking at Sirius. And why do you care so much?"

Sirius gaped. He couldn't think of anything to say. When he realised how stupid he must look, he gave a shudder, muttered something (probably fowl words) beneath his breath and sped up to the boys dormitory slamming the door shut behind him.

Sitting down on his bed, he wondered. Why did he care so much? James was his best friend, no arguing about that, yet he felt closer to Remus than anyone of them. At first he had thought the reason he was always protecting Remus was because he was like the little brother he'd never had. Seeming that his real brother Regulus was equally disgusted by him as the rest of his Dark Arts-loving family.

But he had soon come to realize that it was more than that. He found himself looking at Remus every time he got the chance. He could sit for hours stairing at his pale, beautiful face and his perfect red lips. But Moony was always so focused on his books which he always carried around so he probably never noticed the longing in Sirius' eyes.

No this was not brotherly love, it was different. Surely you don't want to hold your brother in your arms and never let go? And saying "I love you" and get the same answer back..surely. His heart sank when he came to the conclusion that he would never get the same answer back for sure. But for now, he needed to let Remus know.

Sirius jumped up from the bed. So nervous with the though of what he was about to do that his hands nearly shaked. He fumbled under James' bed until he got hold of the invisibility cloak, put it on, and snatched the Maurauder's Map from the bedside table before he sneaked out from the boys' dorm. Outside of the portrait he looked at the map and decided on a secret passage, free from Filch or his buggery cat.

Half way there, he suddenly came to a halt, voices were coming from the corner up ahead. He listened carefully and placed himself behind a statue so they wouldn't bump into him. Invisibility cloak or not, he wasn't going to risk being discovered. The voices drew nearer and to his great annoyance it was a group of Slytherins, with none other than his dear friend Snivellus looking very sneaky and content. It took him great strength to restist the urge hexing Snivel then and there just because of the ugly look on his face. Never the less, before he continued he decided to take another look at the map, just in case. He then saw something that made his heart leap. But it couldn't be..? The dot of Remus Lupin (or Moony) was situated in an old classroom not far from the corner where the group of Slytherins had appeared. Sirius ran towards the classroom as fast as he could, and banged on the door.

"Moony? Are you in there!" he yelled.

"Sirius! Oh Sirius, is that you? You have to help me get out of here, before it gets dark, please!"

Sirius knew exactly why the voice of Moony seemed so distressed. Tonight was a full moon, and Moony would start to change into his dark alter soon.

Sirius could only imagine what the outcome would've been if he hadn't found Remus before dark. An almost fully-grown werewolf, roaming the school corridors after dark. What if he'd bumped into someone? He would've surely killed him or her, or them even! Or even worse, Sirius throat suddenly became very dry, gotten himself killed when back up arrived. To their knowledge, Dumbledore and of course Poppy were the only ones of the staff that knew Remus was a werewolf.

"Why are you in here anyways!" Sirius continued.

"I – Oh I'm so stupid, Pads! A Slytherin came up to me after class saying that she could use my help. And I was a fool to accept. When I got here there was a whole group of Slytherins ambushing me. They wanted to know where I dissapear to every month, and when I wouldn't tell them they locked me up!" Sirius could hear by the tone of his voice that he was on the verge of tears.

"Don't worry Moons, I'll get you out of here!" Sirius pointed his wand at the door. "Alohomora!" he bellowed. Nothing happened.

"It's no use Pads", said Moonys fading voice from the other side of the door. If you hadn't noticed, I am much smarter than you, he said in an attempt of a matter-of-fact tone. Don't you think I've already tried that one, along with every other one in the book?"

"Well then", Sirius tried to sound self confident,"there's nothing left to do but to use pure brute force. Stand back Moons, this won't take long."

And to his great relief it didn't. After hurling himself on the door with all his strenght a couple of times it finally broke open. He staggered into the room, all numb in his left arm. He saw Remus sitting on the floor in a dark corner far from the window. But through the darkness Sirius could still see the shimmers of tears in Remus' eyes and the traces of those that had fallen on his cheeks.

"Oh Sirius!" And to his astonishment Remus leapt from the floor and flung himself into Sirius' arms. "I knew you would find me. You are always there when I need you the most."

Need you the most.. Sirius felt like what he needed the most was to hold Remus in his arms, whispering sweet words of comfort in his ear... No, Sirius gave himself a mental slap across the face, now was not the time. Now all he needed was to get Remus out of the school into the grounds, and if there was time, into the Shrieking Shack.

"Sirius..."

But Sirius had noticed aswell. The day was coming to and end, and that fast.

"... I don't know if I can make it." He shuddered in Sirius' arms.

"Of course you will, don't even think such thoughts" he replied while drying of a tear on Moonys cheek. "We will make it."

And he darted out of the abandoned classroom as fast as he could, keeping a firm hold of Remus' hand.

------------------------- Present ------------------------------------------

Yes, this was definitly the worst.. As soon as they had come out into the grounds, Remus' state had rapidly gotten worse. The darkness seemed to consume them both and Sirius' only hope was that the cloudy sky would delay Remus' transformation, if only for a few seconds.

"Hang on, Moons. We're nearly at the Willow, it will be alright. Just hang on."

"I- I can't.. much longer, he wimpered. You should've just left me there, then maybe I would've attacked a student and the teachers would've come.. and.. and killed me and.. let this all be over with." Remus went dead quiet.

Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Stop it", he said, his voice hoarse. "Never say such things ever again, you hear me?" Maybe he had sounded a little more angry than he intended, because Remus' winced at the tone of his voice. The truth was that he was angry, but not more with Remus as he was with himself.

"But it's true!. There is no place in this world for me.." Sirius could tell he was trying with all his might to keep himself from crying. "I should just face it. No one would want to be with me, and you will probably forget me aswell. You will probably get a-... a normal life with... with normal friends and start a family.. without me. No one will ever love me.."

Sirius was lost for words, if only Remus knew how he really felt, would he still say these things to him?

"That's not true... Remus.. I-" But Sirius got interrupted by the cry of Remus, the human cry that was beginning to sound like a howl. The moon was slowly beginning to appear in the night sky. Remus suddenly fell into the damp grass, and the transformation begun. Judging by the screams and whelps of agony that came from Remus' mouth it was clear that the boy was trying with all his might to fight off his inner self.

"Then tell me, Sirius! he cried where he lied twitching in pain. "Tell me I'm loved!"

Sirius tried with every ounce of strenght he had left to hold his friend's body firm against the grass. "You are!" he bellowed while he struggled to pin down Remus. For such a slender body, Remus was incredibly strong, almost too strong..

"LIAR!" It wasn't more of a cry this time, but more of a growl. "Who... who would ever love me?" he snarled, fangs beginning to show.

Sirius couldn't stand this. With the very last bit of strenght he could muster he took a firmer hold of Remus and cried "I would! I would love you! I mean – I will.. I love you, Remus! I love you so much it hurts every time I see you, you hear me?

But Remus couldn't hear him anymore. He was transforming before Sirius' very eyes and doing so fast. He was too strong now.. Remus, no, he wasn't Remus anymore. Moony flung Sirius off him who landed with a deep thud on the hard ground. He had never witnessed Moony transform before. Sure he had been there with him numerous of times, as an Animagus. But they've never been there during transformation-time. Even they thought it wouldn't be safe. But now he had no time to loose. In a matter of seconds he stood there on four paws, his large fangs glowing in the moonlight. He wanted to get the werewolfs attention, so he maybe.. maybe could get it to follow him to the Shack. There at least he knew he would be safe. It was better off that way than having Remus running into the forrest, no telling where he would be when he finally transformed back to his old self.

Getting the wolfe's attention wasn't that hard actually. It felt as their animal eyes were locked into one another's for an eternity. Both of them estimating the outcome of an unevidible fight.

Sirius took the first leap. Werewolf or not, it was still Remus. And he had never been a match against Sirius. Sirius was stronger, his body more fit for fighting.. more mature.. more confident. Or at least that was what he told himself then. In reality he could've easily been ripped apart by the wolf's claws. And even as he got lashed several times, it never once tried to bite him. They fought, or played, very roughily, their way towards the Shack, and once there, the wolf and the shaggy black dog which was Sirius, were to tired to lash at each other more than they've already done. The wolf Remus, of course, recognized the place where he had spent so many full moons through out the years and felt more at ease. Here he was safe from the outside world, and foremost from himself.

Sirius sensed this and laid down at his usual spot in front of the stove. He didn't care who would miss him, he was going to keep an eye on his friend, or was it beloved? He didn't know. He didn't bleed any more, but he would certainly maintain several scars after this ordeal..

­A/N

Im such a n00b. Lol. Well this was my first chappie and fic. Hope you enjoyed! There will be

more chapters.. I am working up the courage to write the real Lemony/Slashy/Yaoi ending to this one.. please don't give up hope on it just yet wink ;)

Just saying this: Remy is not the submissive type..

Please onegaiiiii review! Even constructive critisism will be appreciated. S'long!