The Magical World of Phantomness!

By: The Muse of Destructiveness

Author's Notes: Obviously I don't own the original idea for the sexiness that is Erik, the sluttiness that is Christine, and the idiocy that is Raoul. That honor belongs to Gaston Leroux, the genius that he is.

Warning: Lots of Christine and Raoul bashing. Sympathy pains will be treated with tranquilizers that involve three of my highly destructive muses and large needles and flames will be used to burn anything within a three mile radius.

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"What in the holy name of Ra is that!"

Oh no…not now…not when I've finally killed off the last of those little pink buggers…, Ravyn thought as she heard the shriek of hilarious terror coming from down the hall. She tiptoed down the hall and paused for a quick moment at the shrieking one's door. "WHAT THE HELL?"

After the past ten hours battling the rather highly intimidating, pink frilly dresses of impending doom her mother had forced her to try on, Ravyn was definitely not prepared to see her favorite muse wearing one of them and prancing around in it. Erik, the darling and rather sexy muse of music, was bouncing around in the very dress her mother had made her buy earlier. The worst part of it was he looked good in it. But then again, she thought, he looked good in just about anything.

"Erik…why…?" she managed, before he stared at her with his classic puppy eyes. He was too cute in that dress…and he knew it.

"Because somebody's mistress wouldn't give me my lighter to burn that stupid pink monkey suit that I tried stealing their pants in," he pouted, crossing his lace trimmed arms. Ravyn snickered, trying to avoid looking into his pretty golden eyes which were looking at her with the most disturbingly cute look possible.

She petted him on the top of the head, still trying her best not to start laughing maniacally in his face, and tried her hand at the most serious look she could manage. "Erik, one, you should know by now that somebody as sexy as you shouldn't need a monkey suit to steal people's pants and two, you are not the pink, pants-stealing monkey lovingly known as Sir Martin Hugo (A/N: Hugo became a knight while in concert choir when Zac knighted him with the plastic sword from Beauty & the Beast. Martin came later when another C.C person decided Hugo would make a cuter Martin…)."

Erik, who was trying his best to look straight at her face, let his eyes wander down to the top of Ravyn's pants pocket where he discovered the silver top of his lighter protruded dangerously. "So…does that mean that if I wanted to steal your pants…I wouldn't need the monkey suit!" he grinned wickedly.

Ravyn smacked herself in the forehead in annoyance. "I just made that little speech just so you'd understand that and…HEY! GIVE ME THOSE DAMN PANTS BACK!" Erik just grinned and waved them over his head, causing the lighter to fall out into his other hand. "ERIK, IF I EVER GET THOSE PANTS BACK I AM SO GOING TO KILL YOUR STUPID PET ROCK!" she screeched, using the worst threat imaginable.

Erik, who had heard none of it except "kill your stupid pet rock", now stopped in mid step. "You're going to kill Cadaver?" he said, his lower lip beginning to tremble. Tears gathered in his eyes as he realized that in his attempt to get his lighter he had put his own pet rock in peril. "Have the stupid lpants, just don't harm my Cadaver…" he cried, throwing both lighter and pants at the only muse in the room that wasn't staring at him, and ran out of the room to make sure his only friend, Cadaver, was still alive.

Ravyn snatched the pants from the floor and half-stumbling out the door, went to console the one muse that didn't make her want to kill them…

A/N: There I have finished the first installment of the Magical World of Phantomness. Yay me! Read it, Review it, Tell me what you think and I'll consider another chappie!