I feel as if something is ripping its way out of my stomach. My insides churn and my heart feels as though has been frozen solid. I'm aware of sounds surrounding me but all I can hear is an oppressive silence closing in and pressing on my eardrums. I want to scream until my throat bleeds, I want to sob until my shirt is completely soaked through.
My legs crumple beneath me and I am simply a mess of skin and clothes on the carpet, unable to do anything but stare blindly ahead at the wallpaper. I am numb. My faculties have shut themselves off of their own accord.
Arms wrap around me. I neither know nor care who they belong to, but I grasp them to me like they are the only things tethering me to the earth. They probably are. I feel the quiet murmur of Mrs. Hudson's voice in my ear, but her words meaningless and jumbled. Even she has no idea what she is saying.
Somehow my legs support me and I stand. I try to shout at the paramedics as they carry him slowly down the steps, try to tell them to stop, bring him back, but I can't even force my mouth open.
A moment later, Sherlock is gone.
And now I am incomplete.
Broken.
