Title: A is for Apple
Series: Let Me Count The Ways
Author: Acmarache
Rating: K
Pairing: Urahara/Ichigo
Spoilers: Varies. Be up to date with manga.
Disclaimer: negative
Word from madrona8
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This wasn't any fun at all. Well, it was better than sitting alone at his shop, but it wasn't much better. Not when he wasn't "allowed" to "molest" his favorite Strawberry. Urahara sighed as he bit into another apple and looked at his boyfriend laying on the grass of the Kurosaki's backyard.
A few weeks ago, Isshin had found out about their relationship by unfortunately coming down to his training ground at the exact moment he had been sure Ichigo was finally ready to "do the deed". Damn him. Of course, Isshin had chosen that moment in time to transform into the responsible parent. Now he wasn't allowed to be in the same vicinity of Isshin's "only precious son" unless under strict supervision (e.g. Isshin or Karin- she kicks hard!). And supervision meant no molesting. He was lucky to get a kiss!
Normally, he would just bypass the whole "I am Ichigo's father, therefore, my word is law!" thing, but, considering Ichigo was still jail bait, he figured he should follow the rules for once. After all, he didn't want Ichigo to be forty when he finally got to see him again and molest him. Best to wait two years instead of twenty-four.
So, here he was, sitting on the Kurosaki's back porch, well outside the five yard distance rule, eating apples with Ichigo. Why they were eating apples, he didn't really get when Yuzu explained it since Ichigo had chosen that exact moment to take his shirt off, and damn if that boy wasn't just screaming "ogle me!". He thought it had something to do with Isshin getting too many for a pie (or something clearly not as important as a half-naked Ichigo) and needing to get rid of them before they rotted.
Either way, it really didn't matter. What did matter was that he was going through another day without touching Ichigo. Well, he may be able to get away with something. They were luckily under the supervision of sweet little Yuzu today. Karin had a soccer game, and Isshin had some house call or something (once again, half-naked Ichigo much more important). Hmm. Suddenly inspired, he slowly sidled up to Ichigo so that he could make a break for it if Yuzu decided to attack him with that wooden spoon she always carried. "Hey Ichigo?"
Ichigo eyed his boyfriend warily as he came closer. Was the man asking for a death wish? With that wooden spoon, Yuzu was more dangerous than Karin and Isshin put together. "Yeah?"
"Isshin's a doctor, right?"
Where the hell was he going with this? "Yeah."
"And you know that saying about an apple a day?"
The teen was now a bit curious as to what the insane blond was thinking. "Yeah. What of it?"
"Well, do you think after eating all of these apples, it would keep Isshin away from me if I tried to molest you now?"
The look Urahara gave him should be outlawed. How the hell could he pull off that pouting look and look fucking adorable was beyond him. "Maybe, but it wouldn't keep me away from you." They both turned to see a livid Karin standing in the doorway, soccer ball in hand.
"Karin-chan!"
"Kisuke."
"Yes, my Ichi?"
"Just run."
