Scene: Seedy motel room.
Sam: We tried everything.
Dean: Yeah, I guess it's off to hell I go.
Hell Hounds bay and Dean shrieks in agony, then drops and is still. Sam sobs uncontrollably over Dean's body.
*Black*
One year later…. Black smoke gathers around cryogenic storage locker and Dean's body sits up.
*Poof*
Dean, Ruby, and small boy appear in front of speeding '67 Impala. The vehicle slams on the brakes and reveals Sam in the driver's seat. He jumps out of the car.
Sam: Dean!
Dean: Dude, my old body's ok?
Sam: Yeah, I kept it on ice for ya.
Dean: So bitch, I've been kicking it in Hell with Ruby for the past year. We've got a son, named him BoyKing.
Sam: Wonderful news! I'm with Bella *smiles brightly as Bella waves one hand while holding an infant in the other*. Here's our little Deanella, named just for you, Jerk, and my little bellybutton wife, Bella. I wish you could be here with us instead of in Hell man.
Dean: Well, you know someone in the family had to go, mom didn't, dad got out, and Sam, well you were the upstanding citizen who didn't want this life, so I guess dad got what he wanted, me to save you. I followed in the twisted SOB's footsteps. Really, though, it's great. The water's always hot. Motels are just like the ones we stayed in on Earth; great Internet connections (you know it was created by the devil, right?) and no bathrooms to be seen.
Sam: You know, I should really kill you and your family Dean.
Dean: Come on Sammy, we're family!
Sam: True. Plus I've given up hunting. I don't have guns, holy water, salt, and chainsaws in the back of the Impala anymore. Just diaper bags and stolen voodoo items my Bellybutton wify sells to the highest bidder, no matter who it is or what they'll do with it.
Dean: Right, live and let live *smiles cheesy grin*.
*Poof*
Lilith: Wrong! I shall now kill the competition! The tribe has spoken Sam; it's time for you to die! *muhahahaha*
Dean: Now Lilith, stop teasing your half uncle Sammy.
Sam: Half uncle? *Looks confused*
Dean: Ruby and Satan had a thing a while back ago and Lilith was born. Now I've adopted her, so you're kinda her uncle.
Sam: But she can kill with a look! And those eyes.
Dean: Now Sammy, don't be demo-phobic. We're trying to teach her good old demon values. Plus, poor thing can't help those white eyes, being born blind and all.
Sam: Well, ok! Kids! Deanella is learning mommy and daddy's values too. She's already learned from mommy to take credit for stealing things she hasn't. And she's only 3 months old! So far Deanella has "stolen" the colt Bella stole from us last year, the keys to Hell, the new Night Rider cobra mustang, a year's subscription to "Play Girl", and the writer's to Supernatural, which brings us to our current situation!
Dean: Damn right! Well, gotta get back to Hell, the ninth circle is having a staff meeting and we don't want to be late or else we'll be flogged. Oddly enough, this section of Hell is an island with some smoke-type monster, a bald guy waving a gun around, and polar bears.
Sam: Yeah, I guess I'll see you around between pursuing my law degree again, watching Bella steal stuff, and defending her in court.
Dean: Glad to see my eternal damnation worked out for the best.
*Scene fades away, end credits roll. *
