Inara was playing a game of jacks with River on one of the walkways above the cargo bay when it happened. They were plsaying their game and minding their own business when she heard voices floating up from the bay below. Curious, she wandered over to the railing to look who it was. What was that old saying from Earth-That-Was that Simon had told them; curiosity killed the cat?
She saw Wash standing below. It sounded like he was arguing with someone, but she couldn't see the other person's face clearly. The first voice she heard clearly was Wash's, the second belonged to a strange man, one of the passengers, she presumed. It sounded like they knew each other, but she was sure that the man had never been on the ship before because she could not recognize him. He was tall with spiky brown hair and he wore a suit and tie covered by a long brown trench coat. Perhaps he was a Browncoat, one of Mal and Zoe's old war buddies. But that didn't make sense because he was arguing with Wash, not Mal or Zoe. But her wonderings were quickly cut off as she because immersed in the argument that played out before her.
"Where have you been all this time?" Wash demanded.
The man didn't answer.
"We needed you," Wash said softly. "Humanity needed you. Yet you abandoned us."
The man winced, but Wash wasn't done.
"Where were you when humanity was burning?" Wash hissed. "What kind of hero leaves millions of innocent people to die?"
Inara felt very uncomfortable, as if she were intruding on a very private moment, but she couldn't bring herself to walk away. What was Wash talking about? Who did he think this man had left to die?
The man finally brought his gaze to meet that of the enraged pilot's.
"I never claimed to be a hero. I help where and when I can, nothing more," his voice was soft yet strong.
He spoke like someone who had seen far too much. His voice was heavy with guilt and grief.
"Then why didn't you help us when we needed you?" Wash demanded.
The man sighed.
"There are some things that cannot be helped. Some things cannot be undone. There was nothing I could do."
"You could have prevented the technology from being invented in the first place!"
Inara heard River shift behind her, but she couldn't tear herself away from the conversation. There was something definitely wrong here and Inara needed to figure out what.
"I prevented one person from inventing it, but it was simply invented by another ten years later," the man said sadly. "Perhaps it would have been better if I had left well enough alone. Maybe I could have prevented all of this if I had simply not interfered."
Inara was puzzled. What were they talking about? The way they spoke gave the impression that they were talking about something far in the past.
Wash was silent for a moment before answering.
"So you're telling me that you tried?" he asked.
The man nodded.
"I would never abandon humanity."
Wash's eyes went cold. He looked away. When he turned back, there was something there that hadn't been there before. A certain madness lingered there.
"You should have tried harder," he snarled.
But the voice wasn't his, not quite. There was an edge there that hadn't been there before.
The look of sadness on the man's face deepened.
"I did everything I could. Even I am not all powerful. The dominoes fell where they fell and even I can't always change fate."
Wash stepped forward, but Wash was gone, replaced by…someone different. The crazed look that now haunted his eyes scared Inara, shaking her to the very core. He stared into the timeless depths of the other man's eyes. Steel clashed upon steel and sparks flew in the cold silence of the cargo bay. Finally Wash turned away silently. The man watched him go.
Wash hesitated near the doorway, turning back to meet the man's gaze slowly. The old Wash was back and the crazed look was gone from his eyes.
"Why?" he asked.
"'Why' what?" the man replied.
"Why don't we age?"
That question stumped Inara. What did he mean? Who was the 'we' he was talking about and what did he mean about not aging? That was impossible…wasn't it?
"You once told me that you wished spend the rest of your life making amends for your sins, but that a thousand lifetimes would not be enough to atone for the evil you had done. Now you have your chance."
This statement shook Inara. Wash was one of the kindest people she had ever met. What could he have done that was so bad?
Wash's eyes widened in realization.
"You made us this way," he said, almost accusing.
Inara once again wondered who the 'we' was that Wash was talking about. It couldn't be the crew. As far as she knew know one on the crew had ever met this man before. But she hadn't known that Wash had known him either. What else didn't she know?
"No," the man said softly. "I am not that cruel."
"Then why are we like this?" Wash demanded.
The man shook his head.
"I don't know. Perhaps it is a side effect of what was done to you," he suggested.
"The other Dolls aged," Wash pointed out.
Inara froze. Dolls, where had she heard that term before? She was sure he wasn't referring to the children's toys.
"The other Dolls weren't like you," the man countered.
Wash winced.
"What does that make us?" he asked.
The man paused to think for a moment.
"You're still human, you're just…different."
Wash gave a small, tight smile.
"I guess that's one way to put it."
Wash turned to go, but the man's voice stopped him.
"I can't always be there to watch out for humanity, but you can," he said softly. "This galaxy needs you."
Wash didn't turn around. He simply shook his head.
"No, they don't," he replied. "I only bring pain to anyone I get close to."
That declaration jolted Inara. Did he really think that? What about Zoe? He had brought her a happiness that she hadn't been able to find anywhere else since before the war, or so Zoe had confided in Inara.
"You've changed. You're not him anymore," the man said. "You're a good man, a good person."
Wash smiled bitterly.
"You mean I'm not a monster," he turned back one last time, shaking his head. "He will always be a part of me. I can repress him and deny that he is there all that I want but he will always be a part of me."
"You've changed," the man pointed out. "You've evolved. He can too."
"No," Wash said softly. "It's too late to save him…too late to save any of us."
"He evolved once," the man argued. "He can do it again. He just needs your help."
"He's had over four hundred years," Wash said. "If he hasn't yet, he won't ever."
"Maybe you just haven't given him a chance," the man suggested.
"Why do you insist on interfering?" Wash snapped.
"I want to help where I can."
Wash's shoulders sagged.
"The real me died a long time ago. There's no one left to help here. Go find a real person to save."
With those final words, Wash turned away once more. This time he didn't pause and the man didn't call him back. He walked away, his slow, measured steps echoing through the cargo bay as he disappeared deeper into the ship. The man paused for a moment, then, stuffing his hands in his pockets, he too exited the bay.
Inara jumped at the sound of a voice beside her.
"They are sad," River said absently.
"What?" Inara asked numbly.
"They remember the past and wish they could change it. Both blame themselves for the deaths of millions," River shook her head. "They walk through time unhindered, powerless to change the flow, yet they fight to anyway."
River paused for a moment before continuing.
"The demon is fighting to be free but the good man won't let him."
Inara was more than a little unnerved by this point. She was still trying to process the conversation she had just overheard while trying to make sense of River's seemingly meaningless babble.
"River," she said gently. "Let's just pretend we didn't hear anything and finish our game."
Inara lead River back to the game, but as they situated themselves on the floor once more, River spoke again.
"War is coming," she said calmly as she prepared to toss the ball. "A war that never really ended."
The ball tumbled from her hand and onto the floor.
"If we aren't prepared we'll all pay the price," River said solemnly as she swept up the last four jacks.
0o0o0o
Later, Inara found out that the passenger Wash had been talking to was a man known only as the Doctor. He had no other name that anyone knew of.
Inara didn't feel right talking to anyone else about what had happened, leaving her to wrestle with her doubts and questions in solitude. Mere hours later, when they landed on Persephony, the Doctor disappeared, but he did not take Inara's doubts or confusion with him.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
A/N: Uh oh. Now Inara is getting curious and River is spouting prophecies of doom and destruction. Poor Wash just can't get a break. Please tell me what you think. The next installment will be Dollhouse/Firefly with only hints of Doctor Who.
