Title: The Debt that All Men Pay
Rating:
Genre:
Sorrow, loss, romance
Pairings:
Edward/Bella
Summary:
The battle is over, for now. The newborns are defeated, Victoria dead at last. But at what cost?

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The Debt that All Men Pay – Chapter 1

Sorrow, pain, sheer and pure loss. Heavy and overwhelming, coating the world in its wrath. He was gone. Jake was gone forever, lost in the depths of death, irretrievable. Never again would his warmth surround me, his smile breaking the gloom in the air. I was still waiting, waiting for him to return to me, to laugh and tell me it was all okay.

But he didn't come, it wasn't okay.

And it was all my fault.

Edward kept telling me it wasn't my fault, that there was nothing anybody could have done, holding me tight to his chest as I wept, my tears staining the grey front of his sweatshirt, but he took no notice. I knew that I shouldn't, couldn't do this to him. The tears I cried for Jacob hurt him, it hurt him to see me in such pain, surrounded by such loss. But I couldn't help it. The stitches holding the remnants of my heart back together seemed to burst, sending shattered shards to cut through the air, the hole in my chest gaping as it left me to gasp for breath through agonised wails.

I knew it was my fault. It was me the newborns had come searching for, hunting for. Me that the pack had fought to defend. That Jake had fought for. And now he was gone.

It was so hard to imagine that he, Jacob, my own personal sun, could die. As a wolf he seemed so powerful, indestructible and unbreakable, even if he was a goof. As a human he was huge, strong and warm, and had put me back together when I fell apart. I had almost shuddered when Edward had wrapped his cold, stone arms around me as I thought of him. Jake had felt so alive, so warm. So different from Edward, and I longed for that warmth.

For hours it went on like this, Edward growing more and more concerned for me, his eyes filled with sorrow and longing, longing to take my pain away. I wished he could, but I knew I deserved this. I had, even if inadvertently, played with Jake's heart, giving him hope for something that could never be. I deserved the pain that racked me, but I wished he could take it away, give me relief from my sorrow and guilt.



It went on for hours before exhaustion overwhelmed me and I fell into a restless, nightmare plagued sleep. And still I wept.

XXXXXX

Dawn broke without ceremony, sunlight rare for Forks washing over my face, warming me as I woke, Longing ached in my heart at the feeling, as if the world was taunting me. My eyes opened and I found myself staring into the expression of he who I loved, dark onyx and shadowed, filled with anxiety. Wondering, no doubt, when the tears would begin again. I smiled briefly for his sake, but it didn't reach my eyes, or my heart. Within a simple moment his arms surrounded me again, and I returned his embrace with silence.

"It's time" he spoke softly, his pain hidden behind the velvet of his voice. I nodded. I knew it was today. But it seemed to have come far, far to soon.

XXXXXX

Near the coffin of simple oak the preacher stood, droning on about life's turns and twists, but I barely heard him. I tried not to picture the still body of Jake within the wooden confines, but still the image invaded. He had been so lively in life that lying there, so still and motionless, it was impossible to think of his as anything but dead. But that still hurt too much.

This was so wrong. He was never supposed to die, never supposed to leave me. I wanted him by my side, a friend with a hand to lend and a shoulder to cry on. This was so wrong, so unfair.

Near the coffin stood the rest of the pack, silent and still in their grief. Sam stood serene, pain clear in his expression as his gazed with closed eyes at the pale wood. Paul glared and bristled in my direction, venom evident in his stare. Next to me stood Edward, allowed onto the reservation for the funeral, a low growl in his throat, directed back at Paul before returning attention to the priest. And then at last it was over. The coffin went into the ground, taking my sun along with it.

And my mind finally seemed to acknowledge that never again would I hear that laugh, see the smile I loved so much. Never again.

Authors Note: Sooooo what do you think? My very first fan fiction. Not sure how long this is going to be yet, but the chapters will likely be longer. Please read, review and let my know what you think!