Alright!! Finally, i decided to churn out an ItachiXKisame story.
EITHER WAY, I've gotta get straight to the story before i forget it, so here's the disclaimers and stuff ;]
Disclaimers: I do not own any of the forementioned characters and the anime or manga Naruto, and this story is in no way related to the anime or manga. Spoilers: 0.


"I think i should tell him." Itachi said, and Deidara held him back by hugging him from behind. "NO!!! NONONONONO, Un!!!!" he yelled, and Itachi shook him off irritably. Hidan laughed and Tobi began playing with the cosmetics on the table.

A couple of days ago, Itachi received a letter asking him to attend an episode of the television program "Moment Of Truth". Apparantly, these people had already found out most of his life, and they decided it was interesting enough to broadcast. For one day, the Akatsuki would be allowed to walk the day free to the broadcasting venue so that Itachi could attend his turn in the chair.
The people sitting on the chair would be Kisame, Deidara and Sasori, and later on Hidan, Kisame and Kakuzu, after that break, Tobi, Zetsu and Kisame, and then Pein, Konan and Kisame. The seating would be changed after each advertisement break. Everyone who had met Itachi before wanted to attend, and Itachi had sent several free passes out to some of them, like Sasuke, just to spite him.

Right now, Itachi was in the dressing room of the place, and Deidara, Hidan and Tobi was with him. He was contemplating telling Kisame he liked him BEFORE the show, because it would infinitely be better than telling him only during the show, forced, in front of everyone. Also, he happened to be currently going out with a girl, and they'd been going for about 2 years now. He'd been trying to get her off of him for the past year, but he'd found it too troublesome to answer the questions that came with the aftermath.

Now, he hadn't looked at the criteria of the participant's form, missing the [WE ASK YOU QUESTIONS ABOUT EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE] part. He tried to back out, but there was no room to negotiate in Television. He expressed his argument strongly, but strangely, Deidara and the other 2 were against it. He wondered why. *cough sarcasm cough*

"Why? I don't want him to look gormless on TV if they ask me that 'who do you like' question. And if he rejects me, i'd like it to be nice and private, not terrible and public." Itachi growled, and Deidara handed him a crinson red tie. He tried it on and Hidan tightened it, but he tore it off. "Is there a darker one..." he asked, and Deidara held him firmly by the shoulders with surprising strength. "Ita-chan..." Itachi glared at him "... you've gotta just face up to it, Un, Kisame kun might reject you, but if he doesn't, this is going to be the nicest and most memorable thing you've ever done for him, Un." Deidara grinned, and Tobi dropped the case of concealer. CLANG. "S... Sorry." he stammered while scratching the back of his head, and Hidan rolled his eyes. "Just go out there and tell the truth and bring home some money, man." he said, and Itachi rolled his eyes. "It's not so easy." he muttered, and he pulled on a dark blood red tie.

Tobi unearthed a hair ribbon of the same colour and Deidara took it from him, using it to tie Itachi's hair into its usual ponytail. Although Itachi didn't show it [DUH], he was actually stressing over what he was going to do, feeling slightly OMG-ish over the kind of questions they were going to ask. He was actually panicking. People from Konoha, whose ass he'd kicked years ago, were going to find out his secrets from distance, and he could not kill them on TV. There was something against that in the Tv's guide to staying out of hell, he was sure of that. He sighed. He looked in the mirror.
"DEIDARA, GET THAT PLAIT OUT OF MY HAIR." He said, and Deidara laughed nervously, taking the ribbon off and tying it right. Hidan reclined on the small blue sofa in the room and turned to the door. 5 seconds later, Sasuke's head stuck in. "Hey." he said, his arm around the kyuubi boy from before. Itachi turned to face him. "Hey." he replied slightly surprised, and Sasuke walked in. Although he'd given his brother a pass to his dressing room, he didn't expect Sasuke to use it.

"Move." he said to Deidara, and the blonde moved, though he remained glaring. Sasuke tilted Itachi's chin up. "This is where i usually threaten you and you call me an idiot, but let's skip that today. You look terrible, but your complexion's fine. I'm going to fix this." Sasuke said, and Itachi frowned. "What the hell..." "Sasuke's training in his free time to be a make up specialist because he's had alot of practise helping the snake guy with his eyes." Naruto said smirking, and Sasuke punched him. Picking up a stick of eyeliner, he nodded. "Shut your eyes." he commanded, and Itachi decided to let it go as he shut his eyes, and Sasuke drew his eyes. Naruto straightened his tie.

Eventually, after 20 minutes of foundation, eyeliner and touchups, Sasuke looked away, satisfied. "I'm watching from the audience, Itachi. Screw up. This'll be good." Sasuke joked, and Deidara laughed. Hidan grinned. "Hey, you look good." he said, and Itachi nodded a thanks as Sasuke waved, slipping out of the room. "5, Mr Itachi san." a stage crew dude called from the door, and Itachi nodded, as Deidara said, "Yeah, Un!!" he said. Hidan stood up and stretched. "Well, Itachi, just go out there and bitch the world out." he said, and Tobi rolled his eyes. He examined Itachi's outfit and nodded. Deidara went out of the room.

Itachi looked in the mirror. Black tux and pants, Light red shirt and blood red tie. Outlined eyes, red hair ribbon. Black boots. "Dude..." he turned to Tobi, who stood at the door frame. "... I tell alot of lies. What if i get caught out?" he said, and Tobi grinned under his mask. "Itachi san, if you want any of us to press the button, just give it a distinct nod. If you want to quit, any time's nice." he patted Itachi on the shoulder and exited the room. Kakashi poofed in the room. Itachi recoiled and fell ass first on the couch. "Holy bugger..." Itachi said, and Kakashi smiled with his... eye.

"Just popped in to say hi, Itachi. Good luck." Kakashi said, and Itachi nodded. "Thank you. Now please go back to Iruka san, i'd imagine he's missing you." he said, and Kakashi grinned. "Hmm, i see you know about us... You have anyone?" he asked casually, and Itachi shook his head. "No." he said, and Kakashi sighed. "Oh well. Good luck with the love life." he smiled with hsi eyes again, and left to join Iruka. Itachi shut the door, muttering a "Thanks.

He was ushered, later on, to the entrance to the room with the 2 chairs and a sofa, where he saw Sasori, Deidara and Kisame reclining. Deidara waved, and the camera man was counting down. The host was introduced, and he went to his seat in an incredibly stupid and dramatic way. Itachi sighed. "Welcome to, everyone, the Moment Of Truth!! We've a special guest today, please welcome today's guest, Uchiha Itachi!!!" cheering.
Itachi stuck his hands into his pockets. 'Here goes.'


Kisame watched as Itachi walked over to the chair and sat down in it, pushing himself backwards and resting against the back. Sasori had his arm around Deidara's waist, and they were watching just like he was. "Now, Mr Itachi, you know how this works, right?" the host said, and Itachi nodded. he was hooked up to the detector, and all he had to do was tell the truth. Ok. He could do this. He could do this. He could do th...

"Mr Itachi?"
Itachi cursed. Damn. "Yes. Sorry, repeat the question."
"Have you ever killed someone."
Itachi nearly snorted. The Akatsuki laughed, till they saw everyone else's serious faces. 'Oh god, they're serious.' Itachi thought, and he cleared his throat. "I am an S rank criminal, you idiot." he stated. "Yes, i have." he said, and The host nodded grimly. As IF it was something the audience didn't already believe.
The answer flashed on the screen. [TRUE] Itachi rolled his eyes. Now why would anyone have a reason to lie about that?? Now eating Deidara's last cookie. That's something you needed to lie about.

"Ok, are you moving onward, Mr Itachi?" The host grinned, and Itachi cursed him inwardly, and he grit his teeth as he flipped his fringe out of the way. "Yeah."
"Great, next question. Have you ever slept with your boss in hopes of having a raise." the host grinned, and Itachi leaned his head on his fist, smirking. "No." The answer flashed, [TRUE]. Itachi was just glad they didn't ask him that question yet. He didn't mind having to answer questions like these. They were easy. No one would sleep with Pein in the hopes of simply a raise. What the hell, except maybe Konan? Maybe... hell, he was sure she'd sleep with him for no apparant reason.

"Next question. Are you willing to continue?" The host asked, and Itachi nodded. "Have you ever tried to attempt suicide more than once?" Itachi sighed.
'Oh crap, here we go.' it was getting boring already...
"Yeah."


Intermission.
It was the word from heaven.

Itachi smiled weakly at Deidara and Sasori as Deidara piped up, "You've got 10,000 bucks, man, look happier, Un." Sasori shot Itachi an encouraging smile and Hidan and Kakuzu walked up to the sofa and sat down. They were immediately tended to by the stage crew, who poured them each a glass of iced water.

Itachi's girlfriend walked up to him. "Hey, you're doing great, Itachi." she said, and he nodded, not really paying attention. "Mm. Yeah. Excuse me." she didn't look too bothered by him walking off, walking over to one of the stage crew, who smiled and engaged her in conversation.

Itachi pulled Deidara aside.
"Deidara, what do i do if they ask that question??" he said, and Deidara waved his hand. "Tobi already told us about the hand signal thing. Don't worry about it, just..." he turned to Sasori. "What do they say in times like these, Danna Un?" he asked, and Sasori shrugged. "Follow your heart?" he answered lamely. Itachi rolled his eyes.

"I'm not a care bear, Sasori. Follow your heart?" he looked at his watch. "Ok, thanks anyway guys. the intermission's over. I gotta get back." he walked back to the chair, not at all comforted as the host smiled at him. If anything, he felt even worse. he sighed as Kisame sat down on the sofa again. Although comforted by Kisame's being there, he was slightly disturbed about being able to see Kisame's reaction. He'd done some search on the computer, and apparantly 90% of the questions here on out would be about his 'love life'.

The host turned to the crowd. "For 12,000 dollars... Mr Itachi, are you more comfortable around friends whom you know are not attractive as you are?" the crowd winced. Who were Itachi's friends? The Akatsuki. Who would kill him if he answered truthfully with something they didn't want to hear? they would.
Itachi laughed. He knew what the crowd were thinking. "Not really, no. I and the people around me are actually pretty average looking..." this was met with a loud "WHAT THE FUCK, NO!!!", "... But i think i'd be able to make friends fine with someone not as... good looking? As i am." Itachi said, and against the audience's predictions, the answer flashed, [TRUE]. Hidan laughed. Itachi was looking less and less like an S-rank criminal.

The host laughed and nodded. "12,000 dollars!!! How do you feel, Mr Itachi?"
Itachi blinked at him. "I... can make more money than this?" he answered uncertainly, and the host nodded. "That's the ticket!!" he shouted, and he flipped out another card. "Oh. This applies." he smiled like a predator, and Itachi gulped. He nodded as the host asked if he would continue and waited for the question.
"Do you feel many people of the same sex are jealous of your looks?" the host read, and the question flashed clearly on the screen. Someone from the crowd laughed loudly, and Sasuke glared at the bugger, shouting a "Shut up, you dick!!" at him. Itachi looked at his brother and smiled a small smile before turning to answer the question. "I don't think so."
[TRUE].

'That question was off.' Itachi thought, as the host pandered on about how the crowd was getting fiesty. Then his attention snapped back tot the show as the host asked him in different words if he would continue. "Yes, please." he answered, and the host nodded. He took out another card.
"Do you base your hairstyle on what you believe people of your own sex will like."
Itachi shut his eyes and bathed in the "ooooohhh...."s of the crowd. Yes, this was a question he really would rather not answer. But...
"Yeah. I do." he answered, and he watched Sasori and Kakuzu palm their faces, and Deidara looked away. Kisame frowned at his obvious discomfort, and the host winced, like much of the crowd. This, by the way, was being broadcasted live to millions across the globe. This was live television. It was incredible.
And it was also scary.

Itachi nodded as the usual question was asked, and Deidara shot him a smile and a thumbs up. Kakashi gave him a grin and Sasuke nodded. For one day, just one day, the people he used to be close to were on his side again.
"Is your ex partner a better lover than your current partner."

Itachi looked at his girlfriend in a panic. He forgot who he'd been with before her!!!
'Oh shit.' he panicked, 'Oh shit shit shit. I'm screwed.'
He chewed his thumbnail, draining out all of the noise from the crowd, looking at his girlfriend. 'That's it. I'm breaking up with her after the show. Maybe even during intermission later or something.' he thought, shutting his eyes. 'But since i can't remember the last person, i guess she's a better lover.' He looked at the host. "No."
The host looked up to the screens, waiting. Itachi's girlfriend too, looked to the screen... The camera must have known she was his girlfriend, because they zoomed in on her too.
[TRUE].

Itachi sighed in relief. He was still in the game. He was still on the show, and he could continue with the questions.
'I don't even know if that's good anymore.' he thought in his mind, laughing as he absently fiddled with a strand of hair. Then he saw his girlfriend crying. 'Oh crap. Is it one of those i'm so touched girl moments??' he thought, rolling his eyes away from the camera.

The host nodded, and Itachi nodded back. "Next question..." The host picked a card. Itachi prayed it wasn't that question.
"Mr Itachi, it's to our understanding that you have a younger brother?" the host smiled, and Itachi nodded. "He's here, today." he replied, and he pointed into the audience. Naruto gave a jaunty wave and pointed to Sasuke till Sasuke made him sit down. Itachi laughed at his younger brother's embarassment.
"It's also to our understanding that you were providing for his education for a long period of time?"

Itachi cursed. Oh shit. 'How much do they know??!' he thought, spinning around to look at Sasuke. He'd never gotten around to telling Sasuke about that before he'd went off to work for Orochimaru. Sasuke was staring at him, shocked as a chorus of 'aww's echoed around the set. Much of the audience were still too shocked to say anything. This was like a whole new person, this person in the chair, he wasn't like Itachi at all!!
Itachi sighed and nodded. "Yeah. He doesn't know that, though, and he probably doesn't believe it."

The host nodded, and Itachi looked away from Sasuke, who was being revived by a panicking Naruto. The host coughed and read out the question."Do you love your brother in a older-sibling-like way."
Itachi sighed, 'Oh GOD, why.' he looked up to the heavens and growled. "You're having a laugh today." he said mistakenly aloud, and the host laughed.
Sasuke was leaning back, trying to hide his anticipation for the answer.
Kakashi was looking forward to hearing this.
Itachi nodded. "Yeah." he coughed, "Yes, i do." he remedied.

The answer flashed. [TRUE].
The host smiled and made a subtle signal with his fist. "We're heading for intermission, and we'll be back with more, Moment Of Truth."


Itachi stepped off the stage and walked up to Kisame, who patted him on the shoulder. "You're doing great, Itachi." he said, and Itachi nodded silently as he walked over to Tobi and Zetsu. Zetsu patted him on the shoulder before he walked off to sit on the sofa, and Tobi whispered in Itachi's ear, "The hand signal." As though he'd forget.

He looked back a minute ago, when Kisame spoke to him. He knew his girlfriend had said the same thing at the intermission before, but the way Kisame said it just made it seem different. Very different. He sighed. He hated the way he hadn't really liked anyone truly except Kisame, and of all the people he hadn't dated, Kisame was one of them.
"We're on in 15 seconds." a crew member informed him, and he nodded. Sasuke ran up to him and punched him in the arm. Itachi looked at him. "Ow!! Gods you idiot, What?!?" he yelled, and Sasuke shot him the famous Uchiha smirk. "Thanks."

Itachi walked back to the chair satisfied with all that's happened so far. He never thought it'd be this productive when he'd stepped on stage. "3... 2..." The host welcomed everyone back, and he skipped all of the formalities and went straight back to the program. "So, are we going ahead?" he asked Itachi, and the S-rank criminal simply nodded, and the host cleared his throat. "Alright. This might get ugly..." he studied the card in his hand one more time and took a deep breath. Itachi tightened the ribbon on his hair and nodded, listening intently.

"Do you believe you should be with anyone other than you current partner."

Itachi shut his eyes tight. This could not be happening. Although he'd joked about breaking up with his girlfriend earlier during intermission, this was a little soon for his liking. Then, he heard a voice call out from the front row. "Just tell the truth, Itachi." she said. She smiled, and Itachi's grip on reality tightened again. It was ok. He could totally handle this. Just tell the truth. Yeah, he'd do that.
"Yes." he sighed, and the host's face turned grim. He watched as the answer [TRUE] flashed on the screen and nodded. "Alright." he said, and Itachi flipped his fringe out of his face, composing himself before he looked at the camera again.

"Mr Itachi, i'm just going to go on with the questions till you say so, alright?" The host said, and Itachi nodded. "Ok."
The host leaned forward and took his glass, observing it like it was the most interesting thing in the world as he swished the liquid around, saying, "Do you think your current partner deserves someone better looking than you?"

Itachi laughed. This one was easy. "Yeah. Yes, i do. She's a very nice person and i think she deserves better than being chased by rouge ninjas after ME." he smiled a sad smile to her, and she looked away. the answer on the screens said, [TRUE].
The host looked at Itachi and nodded. "Well, you've got 25,000, Mr Itachi. How are you feeling?" he asked, and Itachi nodded. "Ok." he answered simply, and the host laughed. "10 questions left, you think you can make it?"

Itachi's throat tightened, but he managed to look good on television. "Yeah, i guess. Let's go." he said, and the host nodded.
"Great, our first on the 3rd tier... this is straightforward. Do you think you're a good person??" the host asked, and Itachi stared at him. The entire set, for a minute, was quiet. Then Tobi began to laugh like a maniac. Zetsu tried to quieten him, but he was laughing too. Itachi laughed, and between breaths for air, he answered, "N... no!!"
The answer read, [TRUE].

Ha. like it was unexpected.


"Is it important for you for people to think you have money?"
"No, not really, that's more Kakuzu's thing." Itachi answered simply, and Hidan laughed loudly, shouting, "Hell yeah!!" Itachi shot his fist into the air as the host smiled at the camera. "Mr Itachi's 4 questions away from 500,000, stay tuned to see if he makes it home with half a million dollars, back here, on Moment Of Truth." "CUT!! Intermission, 15 minutes."

Itachi groaned. Deidara walked up to him, shoving away people who were trying to help him wipe the nonexistent sweat on his face. The aircondition was working great. Itachi gripped Deidara's tie and pulled on it. "I think i'm going to die soon." he said, and then he saw his girlfriend walking up to him. "Oh no. oh no no no no no." Itachi muttered, and then a "Hey," as his girlfriend walked up to him.
And then, right on set, Itachi's girlfriend slapped him across the face. It echoed across the set, down the hallways, in the dressing rooms and probably in the toilets. Itachi clutched his cheek and stared at his girlfriend as she frowned. "I'm... i'm breaking up with you." she said, and Sasuke growled, making his way down to give her a piece of his mind.

But Kisame was faster. He pushed her away from Itachi growling, and held the younger ninja by his shoulders. Itachi still had his hand on his cheek. 'What the bloody hell is going on.' he thought, looking around bewildered. Deidara held Sasuke back from hitting the girl and Sasori held Naruto back from hitting Deidara for doing that.

The girl tilted her head and smiled. "I'm sorry, Itachi." she said, and she walked past him as she left the set. She whispered something in Itachi's ear, and his eyes widened. His head hung and he sighed heavily. "Aniki." Sasuke said uncertainly, laying his hand on Itachi's shoulder, and Itachi nodded. "Ok. O...k." he said, taking a deep breath. He massaged his cheek and looked up at Kisame. "Thanks." he said, and a small flush shot across his face, disappearing as quickly as it came. Kisame recoiled, covering his face as Sasuke pulled Itachi backstage to fix his foundation.

Kisame sighed. 'Crap.'


Sasuke slapped Itachi on the back. "You... IDIOT!!!" he yelled, and Naruto covered his ears. Only the 3 of them were in the room, Sasuke saying that anyone else would ruin his make-up mojo. Whatever that meant.
Itachi looked at him. He imagined Sasuke would do that as much as he did imagining Sasuke killing him and dragging his bloody remains across the floor. "What the hell?" he asked, and Naruto stood next to his boyfriend. "You like him, don't you." he grinned, and Itachi looked at the blonde.
"Who?"
"The... the fishy guy." Naruto answered, and Itachi looked at Sasuke, who looked furious. He sighed. "Ok, how'd i give it away." he asked, and Naruto shook his head. "Only Sasuke knew. I overheard the blonde and the redhead in front of me talking about it." Naruto said, and Itachi promised himself he'd maime both of them later. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"You are moony about this guy. Your eyes stray to him every time you have a minute, and he occupied all of your thoughts tonight. Your main worry was that he'd be raised in a question and how you'd answer it without being screwed by your girlfriend. No wait. That wasn't it. Your main worry was being rejected on TV." he slapped Itachi across his face, causing him to fall out of the chair and on the floor. Then he held his hand out.

"Balls to the wall, Itachi." he said, and Itachi took his hand. Sasuke hauled him up and pushed him into the chair. Naruto folded his arms and grinned. Sasuke tilted Itachi's chin up and clipped his fringe out of the way.
"Now. What should we do about that red cheek."

Outside the room, the show host grinned. The fishy guy. Guess who's our geust speaker today.


"Now, we're back on the Moment Of Truth with Mr Uchiha Itachi." the host smiled at Itachi as he shuffled a thin stack of cards. "Mr Itachi's got 4 more questions to go, and without further ado, I'd like to introcuce..." the host looked at the card. It said 'Akasuna Sasori', but he smiled as he spoke, "Hoshgaki Kisame san." It hadn't been difficult to find the name of a fishman in the audience. Kisame stood up, slightly uneasy as he was ushered to the stage.

Itachi felt sick.

The host held out 5 envelopes, all of which held the same question on the cards inside. He smiled innocently as Kisame picked one from the four and stood in front of the mike. As expected, his eyes widened as he read the question over. Itachi shifted in his seat. 'SHIT. Of All People.' he thought, and he sighed. 'I can do this. I can do this. I can do th...'

"...ner."
Itachi looked up. Damn. Kisame had already spoken.
"Sorry?" Itachi said, and Kisame threw the card up, hiding his face. "The question's officially 'do you love your working partner', but i guess you could say..."
Itachi stopped listening.

OH MY GOD. SHIT SHIT SHIT, WHY'D I EVER ACCEPT THE STUPID INVITATION TO THIS SHOW??! OH GOD HELP ME... GAHHH!!! I THINK I'M GOING INSANE, WHAT AM I DOING OUTSIDE MY BRAIN??! I NEED TO STOP PANICKING... NO, NO, DOESN'T FEEL LIKE THAT'S REMOTELY POSSIBLE, OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. SHIT. I AM SO SCREWED. NO. NO, NOT YET. OK. RELAX, JUST TELL... TELL THE TRUTH.
"Balls to the wall, Itachi"
"Just tell the truth, Itachi"
Itachi sighed. That was just it. He couldn't tell the truth, he just couldn't. He couldn't!!!

For the first time in years, Itachi felt like crying in frustration.

But instead, just to see if it would make him feel any better, he began nodding. He nodded, feeling like an idiot as he blanked out on the set, not hearing or seeing anything other than his hands, which were shaking with embarassment and shame. He'd broken one of the most important rules to himself years ago, "a ninja should not have any emotions". He muttered, "Yeah. Yeah, i guess. Yeah. Yes." he tripped over his own words, and Kisame looked... shocked. To say the least. If it were expressed in an emoticon, it would be something like 0///0 or 8X

"O... ok." Kisame said, and he walked back to the sofa and sat down. Itachi's eyes prickled, and although he knew he wasn't supposed to do this, he stood up and said, "Excuse me. I... Excuse me." he left without a proper excuse, even. He ran out of the studio and into the rain.
It was... yeah. It was raining. Damn. Itachi wished he'd known that.

Itachi cursed, making his way around the corner in the rain, not caring anymore as he got sodden by the rain. He sat down on a corner of the pavement and shut his eyes. He decided that there was no way he would even walk back into the place. He looked up at the sky and yelled, letting all of his frustrations and hurts out at it, blaming it for allowing all this shit happen to him. God, on live TV, EVERYONE IN THE WORLD, all the people he'd known before, he'd be a joke to them now. He collapsed on his knees, his head lolling sideways before his vision hit the floor. He cleaned the eyeliner off his face with the sleeves of his jacket, deciding he was NOT buying a replacement Armani suit. He tore off his tie as his hair ribbon slipped out of his hair, making a wet 'splat' sound on the concrete. He shivered.

'Now what...' he thought. He was beginning to feel like an idiot, and that feeling was beginning to feel more and more common.
"I... Itachi san!!"

Itachi cursed. He really didn't want to run, because that would totally make this seem like some romantic Korean drama, and he was a japanese anime kind of guy, for god's sakes, but the last person he needed to see right now was Kisame, for the love of god. So he left behind his jacket and ran, deciding it was too heavy for him to wear with the rain making its weight on it. He turned around the corner. And then he looked and saw Kisame.

Kisame was looking more miserable than Itachi had seen in months. He looked miserable beyond compare, even though it was raining. He watched on, as Kisame picked up his abandoned Armani coat and his red hair ribbon and shouted, "DAMN IT!!!" at the sky.
Kisame had cursed the sky.
Itachi replayed the situation, but somehow it didn't make sense anymore. Kisame never cursed the sky, especially not when it was raining... 'I'm imagining things. I'm so useless right now.' he shook his head, and he leaned against the wall, watching.

Soon, Sasori and Deidara ran out to join him, followed by the rest. "Have... you seen him, Un??!" Deidara asked, and Kisame shook his head. He ran off to continue searching, taking Zetsu and Tobi with him. Itachi felt guilty, and as Deidara ran past him, he grabbed him and pulled him so that they faced each other.

"Itachi!! Un," Deidara said softly, and Itachi nodded. Deidara sighed at Itachi's defeated look and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Itachi, what do you want me to do, Un?" he asked, and Itachi shook his head. "Nothing. I'm fine, i just need to think. Getting everyone home would be good, though. And go collect my money." he joked, and Deidara smiled a small smile.
"Sorry, Un." he said, and he pushed Itachi out onto the street, full view. Itachi fell forward, landing on all fours and cursing. "SHIT!!" he shouted, and he turned back to kick Deidara's ass.

But Deidara was gone. Maybe he'd poofed away, but Itachi couldn't help but think he'd gone to get Kisame while Itachi was face down in the mud so that Kisame could be some prince to the damsel in distress, only too bad for Deidara, because Itachi liked Kisame just the way he was and not in some stupid cosplay armour, and Itachi sure wasn't going to play the part of Damsel in Distress.

'Oh god, I am going to HURT him.' Itachi rolled his eyes, his wet fringe hanging in his face as he stood up slowly, immediately aware of a scrape, on both his arms and his knees. He winced as he stood up, and heard a familiar voice. "Hey." "What's on the floor that's so interesting?" "Get up, man!"

Itachi looked behind him. Kakashi and Sasuke, Naruto. He sighed and began walking away. Naruto pulled him back and Sasuke pushed him against the wall, punching his face in. "GOD, YOU IDIOT!!" he yelled, and Itachi spat spat out some blood. He stared up at the sky, his head feeling woozy and tired. 'Oh god, this day is wierd. A TV show, my brother not killing me but something close, a year awaited break-up, MY love confession, now what's next??' He thought, and he pushed Sasuke of him and watched as a simple push sent Sasuke flying into the adjacent building.

"Oh." Itachi looked at his fist and remembered he'd grown alot stronger since he last saw Sasuke. He'd forgotten to mask his chakra. "Sorry."

Kakashi sighed. "I don't have time for this. Iruka's waiting for me." he said, and he put his hand firmly on Itachi's shoulder. "For now, for today," he looked at Sasuke and Naruto, who walked over to join him, "We're on your side. So go get him, ok?" Kakashi grinned, and Itachi looked away as they walked back to do some damage control at the studio, Sasuke bitching about how Itachi had ruined a perfectly good make up job he'd done, and Naruto trying to calm him down. Itachi walked in the opposite direction, intending to head for maybe a hotel or something, he had a credit card that could tide him over for the night.
'I just don't want to see Kisame yet.' he thought, his mind too tired to access that he was walking in the middle of the road.

Till a car horn blared and Itachi groaned. Fan-fucking-tastic. He'd just had the longest day of his life, made a PUBLIC confession, ran out of a gameshow, he was wet [in the rain, horny bastards], and now, to top it all off, he was going to die. Fanfastic. What a great end to a great day.

"ITACHI SAN, WHAT THE FU..."

Itachi grunted as a weight slammed into him, taking him back onto the pavement. He groaned as he saw a zillion stars. 'Ow,' he thought, 'That really... hurt...'
"Kisame."

SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT.
Itachi looked at Kisame, who cliche-ly happened to be on TOP of him, and was glad his fringe was in the way of his flush. Oh damn. Kisame pushed his fringe out of his face. Itachi winced as the graze on his arm brushed against the pavement, but everything else was pretty much ignored when Kisame slammed his lips onto Itachi's. Itachi was pretty much too damned TIRED to process all that had happened that day, so he just went along with it, moaning into the kiss as Kisame's tongue explored his mouth. He winced as his graze scratched against the pavement, and Kisame noticed.

"Did you get hurt?" he asked softly, and Itachi shook his head, wrapping his arms around Kisame as they both got up. "I'm fine." he clarified, and he noticed Kisame was holding his red hair ribbon and Armani coat. So it was real, Kisame Actually CURSED the RAIN, and he hadn't been imagining things after all?
Kisame got up behind Itachi and pulled his hair into a ponytail, tying it as neatly as he could in the still pouring rain into a ponytail with the hair ribbon. then he turned Itachi around and hugged the younger boy. Itachi shivered. "Cold..." he whispered, and Kisame nodded.

"We'll get some shelter." Kisame said, and he took Itachi's hand, interlacing their fingers as they walked in the rain.
Itachi looked at his and Kisame's hands and smiled. Around the corner, he knew the Akatsuki were smiling, too.


I hope you liked it, please review!! This idea came when i was reading an article on the program "The Moment Of Truth", lol.
Work began on 01/12/08.
Finished on 03/12/08.