The Unexpected
I looked over her tending to the next victim of the peacekeepers whipping post. A young man about 23. He had been late to show up in the mines by ten minutes. The Head PK gave him five lashes and displayed him for the day in the town square stocks. Lucky he was as strong as he was. The fragile young secretary who had solicited her body to him as the hungry did to old Cray didn't survive the night.
I watched Iris Everdeen work. I don't know how she held this much pain and grief at bay inside of her. Her face stayed the same during each one we brought to her as District Twelve's only healer. She labored over them whatever time it was, no matter what condition they arrived in. She made them comfortable and gave them hope. The mystery of what gave her this vast power and her enormous strength became a question I had to find the answer to.
When Iris Everdeen's beloved husband died in the mines five years before, she shut down completely. It was horrible to watch. Her, Maysilee and I had all been friends in school, we each went through the reapings year after year until the day mine and Maysilee's names were chosen. It changed our lives forever. Maysilee never returned. In most ways, neither did I. After experiencing such horror in the games, I was never allowed to heal if there is such a thing. Instead I was forced to mentor the kids from my district and send them all to their deaths. After the second year is when I picked up the bottle. I haven't set it down since.
Now I set my silver flask on her kitchen table, so I could contemplate her more fully. She set the young man into the spare bedroom she used for patients and gave him a teaspoon of sleep syrup. She came back into the kitchen and began putting her supplies away. How couldn't that damn blow? How could she hold it in day after day, year after year? Did she ever get a release? Did she ever feel good? My brow creased.
"Are you okay Haymitch?" she asked me.
"I don't know how you do it," I said getting to the point.
"do what?"
"Take care of the things the Capitol breaks,"
"Some one has to,"
I know. It's always been her. Before Katniss left for Peeta's house this evening she was surprised to find out this wasn't the first rebellion or that her mother had always played an important role.
I walked up behind her and suddenly placed my arms around her waist, holding her firmly into my chest.
Iris gasped. Then her head leaned back onto my shoulder.
"I'm so sorry for everything you've dealt with. You've been so strong, handling it all on your own. I don't know how you've done it,"
"I haven't Haymitch. When my husband died I couldn't move. My girls almost starved if it hadn't been for Katniss. Now the Capitol has taken her from me and you know once the Capitol's..."
"Always the Capitol's. It may be different this time. The Rebellion is started," I said, but it didn't come out very reassuringly. "I'm sorry."
"No one has held me since him," she whispered.
"I know," I breathed into her neck.
"How do you... when do you let go Issy? When will you let someone take care of you?"
"I still love him Haymitch," I heard the break in her voice as if she were about to cry. If she does, it'll be torrential downpour.
"I know you do. It's all right. You could still allow me to love you a little. You don't have to love me back," I gently kiss where her temple meets her hairline while I pulled in the scent of her: shampoo that smelled of gardenias and chamomile, antiseptic, sweat, war, and pain.
"I don't work right, Hay, I'm broken," she whispered.
"We are all broken, Iris," I ran a line of kisses down her soft neck. Her breathing quickened.
Prim was at Angeline's for the night and Katniss was at Peeta's. "We are alone here. You don't have to think, or worry, or contemplate. You can imagine me anyone you want to, but please, let me help you to feel. To release the dam you have built up inside your soul. You can just let go," with that I trailed my hands down both her shoulders pulling her in tighter to me. "Just close your eyes," I hoisted her up before she could protest and carried her into her small bedroom. I wished I could walk her to my home in the Village to let her have some luxury, but their was no way she'd do that.
I laid her gently upon the bed and lit the oil lamp on the beside table. I saw the tears trail down her cheeks and hit the pillow beneath her.
"Shh, shh," I kissed each tear, then continued down their paths to her neck and across her delicate collarbone. She was so thin. Too thin.
All of a sudden her hand came up to my cheek. This was it, she'd put a stop to this and call it madness.
I'm surprised when instead she says, "Thank you, Haymitch." between her tears.
I slowly unfasten each button down the front of her dress.
I really want to kiss her mouth, but it is a personal intimacy I don't think I can intrude upon. I'm not sure, so I think I'll just keep going as I have been and gently move my mouth down her chest toward her breasts. She sighed audibly. I reached up, cradled her head in my hands and untangled her hair from her work braid. She has always been so beautiful. I fan her long blond hair across the pillow, then move back to her soft white breasts.
I couldn't resist it. I wanted to kiss her so badly... so, as I placed my lips over the tight pink nipple of her breast, I traced the tender lips of her mouth with my middle finger. This elicited a soft moan. I sucked the sweet circle deeply into my mouth and felt her lips open and press into my fingers. I slid my hand to the nape of her neck and crushed my own lips to hers. She returned it hungrily.
