Author's Notes: Originally written for Wereflamingo on AO3. I didn't know what to write, and she gave me this lovely little prompt :)
Remus blamed James. If James had been there in the dorm and not with Lily, Sirius would not have whined and whined at Remus about being bored. He wouldn't have whined about Remus being boring, and Remus, being tipsy and also slightly hurt by the words and the comparison to their other friends, wouldn't have snapped and claimed that he was not boring.
And then Sirius wouldn't have listed all the reasons why he thought Remus was, indeed, boring. Common theme being that Remus was "too sensible" to be "fun" and had "too much of a common sense" as he always left the parties when all the "good stuff" happened.
And then, if James had been there, and all of that wouldn't have happened, Remus wouldn't have snapped and wouldn't have claimed that he too could be fun and he definitely wouldn't have dared Sirius to bring it on.
James' fault. All of it.
Remus knew that there was no backing away now, as Sirius considered him with a mad glean in his eyes. And because Remus was too tipsy and too angry at himself for letting Sirius pester him to this point and because he didn't want to blame himself, he blamed James instead.
"You could be fun too?" asked Sirius skeptically. "Nah. I think you'd be too chicken to be fun."
"I'm not a chicken", growled Remus, who felt like he was digging his grave deeper. "We have booze. We have two people; us. Let's have that party now and let's have all that fucking good stuff now, since you are so insistent on it."
"Fine", said Sirius, whose smile looked dangerous. "Since you insist."
Sirius stood up from his bed and walked over to Remus'. He sat down at the end of Remus' bed.
"So what fun did you have last weekend?" asked Remus. "Truth or Dare? Spin the bottle? Some other twelve year olds' game?"
"We did play some 'spin the bottle'", said Sirius and smirked. "But it'd be a little pointless when there's just a two of us. And I think you'd be too chicken for it anyway. The moment the bottle landed on you, you would bolt out."
"I wouldn't", hissed Remus. He usually didn't get this riled up, not even by Sirius, but this was exactly the reason why he would usually be 'sensible' and leave the parties before he had a chance to get too drunk. This close to the moon his temper was bad enough already, and adding some alcohol to the mix... made him apparently let Sirius goad him into playing silly games.
"So you say", said Sirius lightly, still smirking. "Well. We did play one other game too... Maybe we should play that and see how chicken you are, hmm?"
Remus glared at Sirius, waiting him to out with it.
"Let's play a game of gay chicken, shall we?"
Remus snorted derisively, although his heart had started to beat a bit faster. "That's the most stupid name of a game I have ever heard."
"It's a good game to see which one of us has more balls", said Sirius. "Me and Prongs were dared to play it, and naturally I won, but I bet you won't last even as long as he did. "
"I bet I will", said Remus stubbornly. "How it's played?"
Sirius didn't answer him immediately - instead he looked over Remus and licked his lips. Then Sirius smiled at him, a lazy slow smile that made Remus' heart twist, and rose to crawl over. Remus could only stare as Sirius raised his hand and then stroked Remus' hair. Sirius stopped after a moment, but stayed where he was and smirked at Remus' wide eyes.
"Now you make it more gay", whispered Sirius, and raised his eyebrow. "Unless you are a chicken."
Shit hell no, Remus thought and felt nauseous. He could see how this could be a silly laugh for two straight guys, trying to make each other more and more disgusted and see who would be too creeped out first. The problem was that Remus knew he wouldn't be creeped out by anything Sirius could do. And what if Sirius noticed that instead of creeping Remus out he was... turning him on?
Remus felt tempted to jump out of his bed and run away, but he knew that he couldn't do that now, not after all of his bolsterous claiming that he was 'fun' and 'not boring', not unless he wanted his nickname changed to "Chick" or "Bird" or whatever Sirius would come up with.
"Cluck cluck?" said Sirius with a manic grin, as Remus hesitated.
Remus decided that he would have to be chicken enough to not raise suspicions, but not to be too chicken to be laughed for the rest of his days. It would a thin and slippery road to walk, but he could do it. He would have to do it.
"Cluck cluck to yourself", Remus said with a poor sneer and raised his hand to stroke Sirius' cheek.
Sirius' grin widened. He didn't wait, and while Remus was still stroking his cheek, Sirius already leaned closer. For a scary second Remus thought that Sirius was going already for a kiss, but instead Sirius kissed his cheek. Remus' stomach flipped and he could feel himself blush. He could smell Sirius and the hint of butterbeer in his breath, feel the heat of the other body so close to his. He felt terrified and frozen and so many things, as Sirius continued his kiss along Remus' jaw.
"Chickening out?" mumbled Sirius and Remus could feel his words against his skin.
"No chance", croaked out Remus, taking a firm but gentle handle of Sirius' hair at the back of his head, and more guiding than turning Sirius' head so that he could kiss his neck. This way Sirius couldn't look at his face, Remus reasoned, as he mouthed kisses along Sirius' neck. Sirius' breaths were shaky and laboured, and he was practically lying on Remus now. Getting a little carried away, Remus nibbled and Sirius moaned.
Remus, surprised, let go and looked at Sirius, who was blushing.
"You are too good at that", muttered Sirius defensively.
Remus only raised his eyebrows and with a mischievous smile said: "Cluck cluck?"
"No chance", said Sirius fiercely and grabbed Remus' head and kissed him.
Sirius' hands in his hair, body touching his body everywhere and burning with pleasent heat, his lips against his, Remus swallowed a moan of his own. His hands found their way on Sirius' back, creeping under his shirt, and Sirius seemed to take that as enough escalation to think it was his turn again, as Remus felt him sucking at his lower lip, licking and nibbling.
Remus couldn't stop himself from opening his mouth, and then Sirius' tongue was in and the kiss was deepening. Someone moaned, but Remus couldn't tell anymore which one of them it had been.
I should go to those parties more often if this is what happens there, Remus thought and felt a jab of jealousy as he remembered that James of all people had got to do this as well. His hands were feeling over Sirius' back, the warm skin and hard muscles, when Sirius suddenly rose up to sit and started to pull Sirius' own shirt off.
Remus couldn't help but stare at Sirius, at his flushed face and a frenzy struggle with his shirt, and now that Sirius' mouth was away, he couldn't help but think too. Surely this was pushing at how far straight guys would go? What was going inside Sirius' mind? How far Sirius expected that Remus would go? Maybe it would be safer to chicken out now-
Sirius' shirt was off and he was looking at Remus intensely. As if he could hear what Remus was thinking, he leaned over again and kissed him.
"Don't chicken out now, Moony", Sirius murmured against his lips. "Come on."
Remus moaned and deepened the kiss, his hands getting up to Sirius' back again. He could feel Sirius' hands against his chest, pulling at the buttons of Remus' shirt to get it off.
Sirius rose up again when all the buttons were opened and started to pull the shirt off from Remus. Remus, suddenly realising through his aroused haze what was happening, grabbed his wrists and stopped him in panic.
"What? Moony-", said Sirius pleadingly.
"No", said Remus, suddenly self-conscious and scared, and oh so confused about all of this because why was Sirius looking so disappointed, "I- I don't want you to see-"
Sirius' gaze flickered down to Remus' chest, which was uncovered by the open shirt, and was covered by the old scars. His face softened and he leaned closer again, and kissed Remus slowly. Comfortingly.
"It's okay", Sirius whispered against his lips, "Moony, really, I don't care."
But Remus felt shaken and vulnerable and overwhelmed and he was certain that the game was not supposed to go like this. Certainly it wasn't supposed to be this intimate. He pushed Sirius away and rose up to sit. He felt too warm and his trousers were too tight and he felt like he could cry or laugh or both.
"No, no, I- I chicken out", Remus said and let out a nervous laugh. "Cluck cluck, haha, you were right..."
There was a strained silence, and when Sirius tried to break it with "Moony-", Remus interrupted him instantly: "So how did I do? Did I last longer than Prongs?" He wanted to grab that tiny little thread of sanity, to remind himself that this had only been a joke. A joke gone too far, but still just a joke.
"Yes."
Remus looked at Sirius and laughed again nervously. Sirius was still flushed. And half naked, added Remus' brain. Remus didn't want to think how he looked or sounded himself.
"We both chickened out before we even started", confessed Sirius and Remus stared at him. "Someone hexed us so we could only cluck the next hour."
"But you said-"
"It was Prongs", said Sirius, looking embarrassed. "I wouldn't touch him with a stick."
Remus' brain was being unhelpful and he could only manage to say: "Oh."
Sirius looked scared. And like always when he was getting scared, he was also getting defensive and snappy about it. "Don't look at me like that! You- you liked it too, don't you fucking dare deny it. You fucking moaned."
"No, no, I-", Remus started, feeling faint and so surreal. "Yes. I did."
Sirius glared at him only a moment longer suspiciously, but then his expression softened. Still, he said almost accusingly: "You did."
"Well you did too!" said Remus back.
Sirius laughed, shook his head and crawled back to Remus.
"Of course I did, you big berk", Sirius said fondly and leaned to kiss him again.
