Nimble-Fingers

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"Are you sure I can't help with anything, baby?"

"No Mama, you're the guest tonight," Morgan told his mother. "You had a long flight in from Chicago and you deserve to take it easy."

"I'm not an invalid, Derek."

"I know, Mama, but this is my house and so you have to follow my rules," Morgan said with a grin as he tried to guide his mother towards an easy chair in the living room. "The rest of us have things well in hand, so why don't you go keep Will, Henry and Kevin company."

"Do you mean I finally get to meet little Henry?" Fran Morgan asked and suddenly Morgan, the big, bad FBI man was cringing at his mistake. One look at that little tyke and I'm going to be hearing about grandbabies for the next two weeks, he realized ruefully.

"That you do, Mrs. M," Garcia said, coming in from the living room, "but I don't know if he's up to meeting anyone just at the moment. My darling baby G-man is conked right out on his Daddy's lap."

"The poor thing's still getting over the flu from last week," J.J. explained as she helped Rossi prepare dinner.

"Oh, the poor munchkin," Garcia pouted. "Is it bad that I still found him breathtakingly adorable? Look, I got a picture," the tech analyst said, waving her phone.

"Awww…" Fran, Penelope and Emily sighed, looking at the shot.

"Or you know, you could just go in the living room and look at the real thing," Morgan pointed out.

Fran slapped him lightly on the arm. "Derek, behave."

"What's Morgan done wrong?" Reid asked, just coming in the door.

"Nothing but point out a simple fact," Morgan said.

Reid looked puzzled. "I thought only I got into trouble for that."

Fran chuckled and gave Spencer a peck on the cheek to say hello. "How are you doing, dear?" she asked the young doctor. "Derek said you finished your Philosophy degree?"

"Oh, yes, a couple of weeks ago!" Reid began, excited to discuss his studies, but his team-mates - having heard the story - were on the verge of moaning when Derek grabbed his friend by the arm and gently lead him out of the room.

"Tell you what, Reid, why don't you go into the living room with Mama and the others and tell them all about it."

"Sure, Morgan," Reid said happily. "Come on, Mrs. Morgan."

"You sure you want to doom your mother to that?" Prentiss whispered to Morgan once the two were out of earshot.

"Sure. She'll enjoy it; she loves Reid."

"Still," J.J. said, "I think I've got an idea for a distraction."

"What kind of distraction?" Emily asked.

"You'll see."

Reid and Fran had just barely joined Kevin - spared from the dinner-preparing chores due to a sprained wrist - and Will when J.J. came in waving something in her hand.

"Please tell me those aren't what I think they are," Reid groaned.

" 'Fraid so, Spence - the vote was for home-made Chinese tonight and you know what that means!"

"I find it statistically improbable that Morgan's kitchen is completely lacking in forks!"

"Don't be a baby, Spence. Even Henry is learning to use chopsticks, though I think we'll spare him that tonight," J.J. said as she tenderly brushed the hair from her sleeping little boy's forehead.

"I hardly see how it's being a baby to want to make use of the most efficient cutlery available," the doctor with more degrees than fingers on one hand argued. "Babies do not use forks, and so in asking for one, I am not being a baby, I am being the opposite to a baby."

By this time Will and Kevin were snickering at the familiar exchange and even Fran was trying to hide her giggles as she caught on to the dilemma. J.J. meanwhile, simply handed Reid the chopsticks and told him he had roughly fifteen minutes to practice before heading back to the kitchen.

"Would you like me to help, Spencer?" Fran asked kindly.

"No, that's all right. The others have shown me a dozen times, and I know what I'm supposed to do, but I just can't seem to make my fingers work that way."

"You know, I've always found that funny," Will said suddenly.

"What?" Reid asked.

"J.J. told me how you saved a train full of hostages by palming a fake microchip in your hands, and I've seen the magic tricks you've done for Henry, so how is it you have such a hard time with chopsticks?"

"Maybe it involves different movements of the hands," Kevin suggested. "Ones that are opposite to his slight of hand tricks."

"Ah, is that it, Spence?" Will asked.

"Could be," Spencer replied, but Fran noticed a certain look on his face. One that, as a mother, she recognized.

"All right, spill it young man," she told Reid.

Spencer looked over his shoulder to his team bustling away in the kitchen. None of them were paying attention, so he drew closer to other three and asked, "Can you keep a secret?"

Will and Kevin glanced at each other; they were both involved and knew keeping secrets from your significant other could lead to unnecessary problems, but on the other hand, there was something in Reid's voice that suggested this was something they might find it fun to know. Both nodded and Fran agreed as well.

Reid drew even closer and, blocking the view of his hands from those in the other room making dinner, he started twirling a chopstick through his fingers and under and over his wrist in stunningly complex contortions. Will snorted and slapped a hand over his mouth, vainly trying to damp down his sudden chuckles before they woke the sleeping child on his lap.

"Are you kidding me?" Kevin exclaimed under his breath. "Pen's been giggling for as long as I've known her about your inability to use chopsticks!"

"I know," Reid said with a grin. "It's a running joke for them. But not one of them has ever asked the question Will just did: how a man who has the digital dexterity to run a tiny chip over his fingers could never use a set of chopsticks."

"But…" Fran hesitated, unsure of what to ask.

"Why did I lie?" Reid asked. "Truthfully, I didn't. I actually didn't know how to use chopsticks the first time I ate Chinese food with the team. The thing slipped out of my hand and, well, everyone got a good laugh. I didn't mind; we were on a tough case and… well, you know. We all just needed a break, I guess. Besides, Elle… She wasn't always comfortable with me before that. Don't get me wrong, she liked me - I think, anyway - but underneath the tough act and the teasing, I think I kind of freaked her out a little. So when I had trouble with my chopsticks, I suppose I just seemed a little more human."

Will and Kevin smiled, but there was a soft, speculative look in Fran Morgan's eyes that the young doctor missed seeing. She wondered at the loneliness of a man who'd let himself look like a fool when he was already getting teased, just so he'd seem "more human". She moved to sit on the arm of the chair he was sitting on and used a gentle hand to pull him towards her and kissed the top of his head. "You're a good man, Spencer Reid," she said with a laugh. "A silly one for keeping this going, but a good one."

Spencer blushed as Will and Kevin smirked at him.

"So, Spence," the Cajun drawled, "are you going to tell them now?"

"I suppose I could, or…" Reid trailed off with a raised eyebrow.

"Or what?" Kevin asked.

"Or we could keep the secret and all of you could be one up on a whole group of expert profilers."

Will, Kevin and Fran, who had all had the experience of feeling like the orbiting satellites around this tightly knit group of stars, couldn't help feeling pleased at the idea of this shared secret of their own and so they agreed to play along.

J.J. came back out to scoop Henry off of Will's lap. "Jack should be here with Hotch soon, so I'm going to put Henry in Morgan's room while we eat and maybe he'll be up to playing with Jack after dinner."

"All right, cher," Will said, planting a kiss on her cheek.

"Anyway, the food's almost ready, so you better get your practicing in now, Spence."

The blond media liaison was puzzled; she couldn't help but get the feeling they were laughing at her instead of Reid.

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Author's greeting:

Hey there! I've been a fan of "Criminal Minds" for awhile now, but have only just got into reading the fanfic, and this is the first piece I've ever written for it, so here's hoping you enjoyed it. Unfortunately, I can't say I have a lot of plots sparking for the gang, but when Will's question hit me last night, I knew I just had to write something for it.

Anyway, thanks for reading!