Naruto didn't know when it had all started. To this day, he still had no idea when things had changed. But slowly and surely, they had.
When he thinks about it now, it started with the couch.
Naruto had barged into Sakura's apartment with his usual casualness. He'd been doing it for years and she was so used to it by now, she didn't scold him for it anymore. He knew Kakashi had just gotten back from his mission a few days before and he thought it would be nice to try to catch everyone to go train together. Sakura had been his first stop.
He'd been about to call out for her when she didn't come and see who had invited themselves in – really, only a select few got away with it, though – but stopped short when he spotted her pink hair over the couch. When he got closer he saw her asleep with Kakashi's arms wrapped around her just as knocked out. Naruto hadn't thought anything strange of it. He'd fallen asleep with Sakura in a similar position.
They looked so peaceful, though, that Naruto decided to save sparing for later.
Naruto soon had an inkling of what was going on or maybe he just realized something was different. Kakashi and Sakura were different around each other now, but it was barely noticeable to someone not paying attention. Naruto rarely saw them apart from each other outside of missions. It took him a while to catch on to it because they had all already hung out as much as it was. But Kakashi and Sakura were definitely together more often than the rest of their little group. Kakashi was usually lying around Sakura's apartment or Sakura was stocking groceries in Kakashi's. Naruto saw them walking around the village together or he'd pass by a restaurant that they were sitting in.
Sakura laughed more now, she smiled more and her temper flared less. She was clearly happier. Kakashi's movements were lighter now, he also smiled more even if it was covered by a mask and he hid less behind his books. He was more content. Naruto wasn't unobservant enough to not realize it was because of each other.
Naruto wasn't hurt when Sakura started requesting Kakashi for missions instead of him – he was busy training to be Hokage after all. Kakashi did the same to her and it was almost like it was so they could be with each other as much as possible. It was sweet in a way. Naruto had never been one for pessimism, but he had to admit they were being realistic. Ninjas lived hard lives; rarely being home, having loved ones die in the field, dying in the field. Kakashi and Sakura should spend as much time as they could together.
When those thoughts came to his mind, though, Naruto just shook them off and enjoyed watching his friends be happy together. Even if they hadn't said anything or ever were going to, Naruto could see what was between them.
Sometimes the confirmation of our theories doesn't always come in nice and neat bows like we want. Naruto had rathered to never have his thoughts confirmed if it meant he didn't have to watch the moment in front of him.
Ignoring his own heartbreak he felt at the sight of Kakashi soaked in blood and chakra depleted with a fading heartbeat, watching Sakura was agony. Yet he couldn't do anything about it except stand idly by with Sai as the scene unfolded. Even if he were a medic, there was no way he could do anything Sakura hadn't already tried. Kakashi was dying right under finger tips.
The sad truth was that it had just been pure bad luck that the missing nin had struck Kakashi with a blade through his chest. There had been a gang of them, more advanced than the usual bandits that ambushed people travelling. It had just been Kakashi and Sakura to fight against the six of them with Naruto and Sai further behind guarding the cargo they were transporting for their mission. It was too late by the time they had caught up to help.
Naruto felt regret seep and twist deep in his gut as he watched Kakashi get impossibly paler. Maybe he should've gone with Sakura instead to scout for potential threats. Kakashi's sharringan had been bothering him lately, draining his chakra more than usual. It was probably the only way a lowly missing nin could land a hit on him. He tried to shake the guilt though. Tsunade had told him a long time ago that what if's didn't solve anything and certainly didn't help make you feel better. Trying to prevent a problem after it had already happened was just pointless.
Sakura was on the verge of sobbing now as she continued to stubbornly pump her chakra into Kakashi's chest. She was cursing under her breath as tears fell to mix with the blood covering Kakashi. She was covered in his blood as well up to her elbows. Naruto hoped in the back of his mind that this wouldn't cause her to have the same fear of blood that Tsunade had had. He wanted to offer his help, if there was anything he could possibly do. But held his tongue, not wanting to stress Sakura any more than she already was and knowing if she needed it she would have asked for it. There wasn't anything he could do just like it seemed there wasn't anything she could do.
The cut had been deep going all the way through from his back to his front. Kakashi was lucky he had lived this long, as short as the minutes were getting. Not that he could appreciate it, he'd lost consciousness almost instantly and Sakura's pleas were falling on deaf ears.
"Kakashi! Don't do this to me. Please, wake up." Her voice changed from angry and demanding yells to pleading whispers with ever sentence.
It tore at Naruto's heart and he could tell it was doing the same thing to Sai. His jaw was locked beside him and he avoided looking at Kakashi and Sakura on the ground. But Naruto found it hard to look away, no matter how painful it was. Naruto had never seen Sakura in such anguish before and they'd fought through a war together. They'd lost a teammate before, someone Sakura had loved all her life. But…she'd never been like this.
Naruto had always prided himself on being optimistic on never giving up, but he wasn't the same naïve boy he used to be. Kakashi wasn't going to make it. If Sakura was able to save him, she would have done it by now. It was for her sake, but maybe also his, that he let her try this long. But he was already trying to figure out when the appropriate time was to pull her away before she drained all of her chakra and they lost her too.
Her head was bowed now, her pink her falling around her face like a curtain to hide all the emotions there. Naruto watched as her hands tightened on Kakashi's chest. Her voice was hoarse as she whispered, "Kakashi…please…you need to wake up because I – I can't do this without you."
There was another painful stab to Naruto's heart and he tried to not think about what she was referring to when she said this.
There was no response and Naruto made a move to step forward, but stopped when Sakura raised her hands slowly. She took a deep breath and made hand signs Naruto had never seen before, then slammed her hands back down on Kakashi's chest. Sai had turned at the movement too and they both watched in confused shock as Kakashi coughed and opened his eyes. The little color that was in his skin came back and Naruto's jaw almost dropped when Kakashi breathed like he hadn't just had his lungs cut through.
The only one that wasn't surprised was Sakura who threw herself at him as he tried to sit up. He caught her and she continued to cry. Naruto looked away from them out of courtesy as his mind continued to reel on how Kakashi could so suddenly be in perfect health. Even Sai, who had always struggled with identifying emotions and manners, understood it was an intimate moment and averted his eyes as well.
Kakashi held her as she cried and tried to comfort her. The words "I'm right here, Sakura." and "I'm okay. I'm not going anywhere." drifted through the air. Sakura eventually calmed down and when Naruto glanced over Kakashi was trying to stand up with her in his arms.
Naruto ran over to him and tried to take her from him, but Kakashi just held on to her tighter and said, "She passed out from chakra exhaustion. We should take her home. Notify Tsunade to send another team to complete the mission."
Sai nodded from beside him and pulled out a scroll to do so. Naruto tried to grab for Sakura again. "Okay, Kakashi. But give me Sakura. I'll carry her home. You just had a sword pierced through you."
But Kakashi – stubborn bastard that he was – just ignored his reasoning and adjusted Sakura to his back, getting her arms to fall over him and holding on to her legs. He gave Naruto an appeasing smile. "I'm fine, Naruto."
Naruto put a hand to his chest through his torn shirt, expecting at least a scar if not an open would, but there was nothing. He looked back up at Kakashi's face in disbelief.
"See? Perfectly fine." Kakashi gave him one last smile before walking away.
Naruto looked back to Sai, who watched Kakashi's back with a more subtle but similar expression of disbelief. Sai gave him a nod. "I'll stay with the cargo until the other team gets here. It shouldn't take them long. Go with Kakashi and Sakura. I'll catch up later."
Naruto gave him a pat to the shoulder, which Sai smiled knowing it was to express companionship.
No matter how miraculous Kakashi's recovery was, he still wasn't up to full speed and Naruto forced him to stop halfway to Konoha for a break. He was still amazed at how quick Kakashi had gotten back to his feet after literally almost dying. He felt like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop but it never did. But Kakashi must have felt some sort of fatigue because he eventually let Naruto take Sakura from him the rest of the way home.
Naruto couldn't remember if he had asked or if Sakura had just volunteered the information. But a few weeks later she explained how Kakashi had survived while they were having breakfast. She had a soft smile on her face as she told him staring into her tea, "It was a forbidden jutsu Tsunade had taught me a few years ago. She learned it after Dan had died, but has never used it. It's something similar to what Chiyo did."
Naruto felt his blood ran cold and he reached across the table for Sakura's hand. She looked up at him and at seeing the fear in his eyes, reassured him, "I didn't exchange my life for his, Naruto. Kakashi was on the verge of dying. He hadn't actually died. I only had to give up a few years."
She glanced out the window while Naruto still sat in shock at the news. She was still smiling and Naruto could tell that she didn't regret it at all. A part of himself also knew that she would've been just as content if she had given her life. Though, it would have killed Kakashi if she had done that. Naruto expected he would never be able to get over that kind of guilt.
"Does…does he know?" Naruto asked her, because even if it was only a few years, Kakashi would never forgive himself if he found out.
She looked back at him with a shake of her head. Her smile fell slightly and her eyes became serious. "No and he doesn't need to. You know what that would do to him. I've only told you and Tsunade. I plan on explaining it to Sai later too. But I expect all of you to never speak a word of it again."
Naruto nodded, though he felt something heavy on his heart. He blamed it on the seriousness of what had happened. Sakura had given up part of her life to save Kakashi. It was hard to let that just sink in.
But Sakura was smiling again and so he tried to shake off the heavy thoughts. It left Naruto wondering how it must feel to have a love like that. It sounded terrifying at the same time it did amazing.
