She was not sure when it had started.
Somewhere over the years she had developed this ...thing ... about elevators. It wasn't claustrophobia - she wasn't uncomfortable in them. Quite the reverse, actually. And it wasn't a kink, exactly. She did come over all warm and fuzzy when she rode in one, but not in a horny way. It was more a comfortable, at ease feeling.
Standing in the lobby of One Police Plaza, she can feel the anticipation building as she presses the 'up' button to take her to the eleventh floor, and her smile is whimsical. Her partner would have a fancy word for the feeling, something long and convoluted and with Greek or Latin origins, no doubt. The man standing next to her is impatient, shuffling his feet, glancing at his watch and emitting a huff of annoyance. But she doesn't mind the wait because as she watches the light mark off the floors as the elevator descends, she is marking off memories in her mind.
The doors opening to reveal a dark haired woman carrying a laundry basket, the sudden realisation this was their suspect's girlfriend. The split second pause before springing into action, accosting the woman, detaining her... and the first time she had truly known her new partner could be depended on to back her up.
The light seems to be stuck on the ninth floor and the man beside her lets out an exasperated sigh.
The antiquated, pokey, unreliable elevator as old fashioned and ancient as the gloved secretary; her partner's flash of vulnerability as he considers the tight space...
The light slowly marked off numbers eight and seven, the car stopping on every floor, irritating the man further.
The body of the health inspector lying on the floor of the broken elevator in a grim housing project; another victim of Nicole Wallace. Nicole, who had been her partner's nemesis but in some ways she had been a strange blessing - because through Bobby's interactions with Nicole, she had learned so much about her partner.
The numbers are flashing with regularity now, the memories coming thick and fast.
Racing out of the Major Case squad room, angrily stabbing at the elevator button, terrified of what her partner may do to Judge Garrett. Understanding, for the first time, just how deeply committed she had become to their partnership...to him.
After trying so hard to be supportive, after covering for him - the hurt she had felt as he had sternly warned her to back off. The elevator doors closing, shutting her out as emphatically as he shut her out...
Chasing after him again, terrified again of what he might do when he confronted Brady. The look in his eyes as he asked for her trust – feeling powerless to deny such an earnest plea even as the fear formed a lump in her throat. The elevator doors had seemed to clang shut like a cell door, leaving him a prisoner of his fate.
His poignant eulogy to his pitiful brother, his bulk dwarfed by his grief and even though he took up a lot of room in the elevator, it was not physical closeness to him she had felt...
His casual, parting comment as they stepped out of the elevator into this very lobby. "Ya know, you ground me, keep me real." It was the first time he had ever spoken of his feelings about her and she had stood, dumbfounded, watching him head out of the building...
"You lift me up." She had whispered the words, standing close enough to him to be heard, slipping her hand in his. The jolt in her stomach had not been from the rapid rise of the elevator car, but from the gentle squeeze of his hand...
"Finally!"
The elevator doors pinged open and the impatient man was met by the solid barrier of her partner trying to step out. Playing on the man's agitation, Bobby sidestepped to block his path, and then again, casting a boyish smile over the man's head at her, inviting her to share the fun. At last, he relented and let the man pass.
"Body found in Tribeca Park, looks like our missing heiress. You coming?"
She watches the doors slide close with a fleeting moment of regret. Yep, elevators made her feel all warm and fuzzy because they reminded her of him, but it was not a patch on being with him... anywhere.
