a touching tale written by Manda and myself many moons ago... years in fact... so yeah, crazy, stupid, pointless and never to be sequeled.
A Tale Of Highness
"CUCUMBER!" The beautiful silence by the waterfall was suddenly interrupted as the shout rang out from the distance.
"Eureka (Um?) I found a Cucumber!" Piccolo shouted as he ran... err... flew around in circles.
Gohan looked up to see his master ? behaving most oddly in the sky with a cucumber.
"Yummy... chicken..." he mumbled as he chewed on a stick.
"GOHAN! Aren't you listening to me? I said I'd found a cucumber!" The Namek glared down at him. "Yo kid, come up here and help me with my cucumber, its the biggest one I've ever seen in my lives!"
"But... but..." the chibi stuttered, tears coming into his eyes. "I sniff can't fly mister Piccolo."
"What?" The founder of the cucumber yelled. "I taught you yesterday!"
"I... I forgot... I'm sorry Mister Piccolo." Sniffed Gohan.
"I thought flying was like riding a bicycle." Piccolo sighed balancing the cucumber on his nose.
"What's a bicycle?" The chibi asked innocently.
"A bicycle is um" Piccolo stopped. What was a bicycle anyway? Hmm... He would have to ask the Saiyans that too when they landed. "Never mind kid, the point is you should remember." He zoomed down and landed in a huff, nearly dropping his cucumber, which by then had swelled to enormous proportions.
"I'm sorry Piccolo... if it makes you feel any better I love you." Gohan apologized.
"But I'm sure Vegeta will know what a bicycle is..."
"Who's Vegeta?" Piccolo asked as he dressed the cucumber in a fairy outfit.
"I don't know but I like socks..." Gohan replied smelling his socks. Piccolo sighed. That kid had an obsession with socks. Why couldn't he be obsessed with something NORMAL, like bowling, or tap-dancing, or Elrond's parties? It was wrong, just plain wrong. He thumped the Demi Saiyan on the head with his cucumber.
When he realized what he'd done he cried out and hugged the cucumber, whispering comforting words in its ear (or where he thoughts its ear was anyway).
"Here Gohan, I'll show you what you can do with socks". He viciously ripped Gohan's socks off and sewed goggle eyes on at the speed of light, grimacing a little at the smell. He then held up the finished product in triumph.
"HELLO! I'M MISS FLUFFY THE SOCK!" he squealed, with Miss Fluffy miming along.
By this time the cucumber had grown the size of a house and had grown arms and legs. You'd have thought Piccolo would've noticed the cucumber starring down at them evilly but the cucumber's sidekick Miss. Fluffy was keeping them busy while he took over the world.
"Oh look Mister Piccolo! There's a pink sock over there!" sang Miss Fluffy. Piccolo looked 'over there' but all he could see was Gohan. "Look, the pink sock is trying to disguise itself as Gohan! What a silly sock! You'd better go smack some sense into it Friend!" As Piccolo started walking towards Gohan with a maniacal (is that a word?) look on his face Miss Fluffy glanced over to the cucumber and winked at it slyly.
Cucumber soon started his journey to take over the world. Sure he coulda been more original with his evil plans but he didn't eat the right amount of cheese when we was little so he lost a lot of evil plan brain cells. He walked over into the middle of no where and started his evil plan...
"Uhh... Mister Piccolo... what are you doing... uhh..." Gohan backed away in fear as Piccolo raised his arm to slap some sense into Gohan. He cowered against a nearby greenhouse. Luckily a moment before impact Miss Fluffy noticed that the cucumber had gotten away and this inappropriate (and not to mention dirty) violence was quite pointless. She yelled "Now mister Piccolo it was my mistake,"
"Its just little Gohan, tee he" She laughed nervously.
Piccolo shook his head and his pointy ears (drool) rattled. Now where did he put that cucumber? You'd think a cucumber in a fairy costume would be quite conspicuous, but apparently not. "Oh cucumber where are you?" he crooned softly as Gohan breathed a sigh of relief. Not wanting to anger his master any more Gohan quickly pointed at the greenhouse. "There's probably heaps of cucumbers in there, Mister Piccolo."
"Yes the greenhouse. Good work detective Son." Piccolo said walking towards the greenhouse.
"Umm... ok mister Piccolo." Gohan said as he follows his sensei in the big glass... thingy.
Mean while...
"YES! Insert evil laughter my evil plan has starte-" the cucumber never did now will finish his sentence because right then two spaceships landed on him smashing him instantly.
"Nappa!" Vegeta yelled, brushing the cucumber of his tail. "Let's go find some innocent people and destroy them for no apparent reason."
"Yes sir!" and off they went.
Cucumber lay on the ground, his beautiful pink fairy dress in tatters. "Oh why me" he cried out in sorrow as he began to shrink. Soon he was no larger than a midget pickle. All cucumbers hope was lost until...
"Why, if it isn't my old friend!" came a mysterious voice from above him. Wearily he opened his eyes ? and too his immense delight, there before him stood his long lost brother and greatest friend in the whole world.
"Gherkin!" Cucumber sighed. "You came to help me!"
"Not exactly Cucumber." Gherkin said seriously.
"Why not?" Asked Cucumber tears coming up in his eyes.
"And the dish ran away with the spoon, Cucumber." He said mysteriously. "And the dish ran away with the spoon."
Cucumber gasped and looked at his buddy in shock.
"You can't really mean that, friend."
"I'm afraid I can. I'm Afraid that I can." Said Gherkin with a tear in his eye.
Meanwhile back at the greenhouse piccolo was browsing through the cucumbers humming a little song. Gohan racked his memory, trying to remember where he had heard the song before. An image of an older version on him sitting in front of a computer with two teenaged girls hanging off his shoulders came to him ("Oh show him the hyper video now Kris!" "No, the cucumber one again Amanda!") He shook his head. Ok, that was weird.
He was distracted from his thoughts by a high-pitched voice coming from the shadows. "Oh Gohan! Come here Gohan..." beckoned Miss Fluffy, trying to hide her amusement.
Never tbc….
