Clare's pov:

Opening my eyes I instantly notice this is not my room even in the darkness with a drowsy mind, I feel a warm body next to mine and can hear light breathing I look over and memories come back to me. No, no no! This cannot be Happening that couldn't have happened I look under the blanket and my nightmare becomes reality I'm completely naked and so is the boy sleeping next to me I swiftly get up and put my clothes on making sure not to make a sound so I can go unnoticed I check the time on my phone it's 2am on a school night I leave the room and make my way toward my house I make it to my room laying down on my bed replaying last night's events over and over in my head like a record on repeat, I'm brought out of my thoughts by the beeping sound of my phone

Eli: Couldn't wait until morning to make your exit? That hurts Clare I thought last night was special I'll see you tomorrow.

I didn't bother texting him back I just went to sleep wondering how I had done this to my boyfriend.

Yesterday:

Beep beep beep

I roll over and groggily hit the silent button on my alarm clock still drowsy from abruptly waking up, like any typical Thursday morning I take a shower get dressed and make my way to school, I go to my locker and get my books out for the day, I expected to see K.C by now but he hasn't showed up yet he's been my boyfriend for a year and a half we're great together or we were lately he's been distant and things just don't feel the same but I'm sure it'll pass we love each other. I decide to walk to K.C's locker maybe he's just running late. As I approach his locker I notice not only is he there but he's surrounded by the rest of the football team and of course Jenna I continue on my way when I'm stopped suddenly by someone lightly grabbing my wrist.

"Break up with him"he says casually

I look back to meet the familiar green eyes of Eli Goldsworthy my English partner for the past six months we have grown close and Eli is convinced that we would be good together but I'm with K.C I've told Eli way more times then I can count that I can't leave him especially for some other guy I would never do that even if we are having a rough time the past few weeks.

"excuse me?" I ask quirking my head to the side looking at him with a confused look

"you're not in love with him, tell him it's over" he shrugged

"and what makes you say that?" raising my eyebrow questionably

Eli smirked flirtatiously before leisurely walking away

I was left standing there dumbfounded I'm not surprised by what was said Eli's been saying these things for months now but I am a bit thrown off that I was actually considering what he was saying, is he right am I not in love with K.C anymore? Before I realize it the bell rings and K.C and his pack of intimidating stuck up friends are long gone I'll never understand why he hangs around with them he's better than that all they do is walk around acting like they're better than everyone else because they can throw a ball so the social hierarchy tells them that can and as for Jenna it doesn't take a genius to figure out exactly what she is; Jenna's a home wrecking harlot and she's dying to dig her claws into my boyfriend with her fake platinum blonde hair and over the top sexuality but unfortunately for her that will never work, K.C and I love each other if I wasn't sure of it I wouldn't have broken my vow and given myself to him.

I gave K.C my virginity to celebrate our most recent monthly anniversary and to show him that I was completely his while it wasn't as perfect as I wanted it to be it was okay, well actually no if I'm being honest with myself it was terrible it hurt the whole time and was completely awkward I stared at the wall waiting for him to finish while he was relentlessly thrusting over top of me making sounds that were making it even more awkward, feeling him inside me was not right it felt like an intrusion and he didn't seem to consider how I felt it wasn't what I imagined at all I always thought making love would be a connecting experience with the person you love but there was a total disconnect the feeling overall was unnerving sending the wrong kind of shivers down my spine and the five minutes it lasted before I stopped him lagged on for what felt like hours. I don't know why it felt that way but it wasn't a good experience, needless to say we haven't had sex again since, I can't get passed the sickening feelings I get from remembering the way it felt to try again. I just wasn't ready for sex that has to be it because like I said even though it was less than perfect we wouldn't have had sex if we weren't in love.

I make it to English class and notice Eli is already in his seat I walk over and take my seat behind him giving him a friendly smile he gives me a simple hello followed by his signature smirk before turning back around Lately I can't help but notice how sexy his smirk is and those eye of his are like a forest I could get lost in all night without a care in the world, stop it Clare you love K.C you can't swoon over Eli Goldsworthy no matter how tempting he may be. I have an undeniable connection with Eli I can't fight that we instantly clicked after we were assigned English partners, he's rapidly made his way to being one of my best friends and had things been different we might have been able to be more than friends but that's simply not the case, I have a boyfriend and that's not going to change even if I wanted it to sometimes I can't help but wonder what if but that's just human nature.

Class went by and is about to be dismissed we've been assigned a new project with our partner we're supposed to take a deep look into the relationship between the love interests in one of our favorite books and write about if we think it's a realistic relationship goal or simply a fairytale for people to want but not truly ever be able to obtain.

"so partner I'll call you and we can set up plans to tear apart the romantics of the notebook?" Eli says sarcastically giving me a knowing look

"The relationship between Allie and Noah is completely realistic, and how do you even know that's what I'm going to pick" I say animatedly, he raises his eyebrow and presses his lips together before replying

"hmm let me think Edwards it may have something to do with your endless rants on how romantic it is, or how many times you've mentioned watching the movie during your girls nights with Allie" he tilts his head giving me a smug look knowing he's won.

I glare back at him crossing my arms in defeat knowing he's right, he smiles shaking his head as the bell rings before getting up and heading out the door, not long after I exit the classroom I see Allie in the hallway and quickly make my way over to her

"can you believe Eli he thinks he knows me so well he's just so ugh!" the frustration evident in my voice

"Clare we all know you're in love with Eli and the sexual frustration is killing you, just dump K.C let Jenna have him, go over to Eli's house and jump his bones like we all know you want to problem solved" she spoke knowingly and I stood there stunned at her words I've told Allie a million times I don't like Eli but yet she Insists on saying otherwise

"I love K.C not Eli we're just friends" my voice came out less confident than I wanted, Allie gave me look that told me she didn't believe it before walking off to her locker

I don't know why Allie is convinced I'm into Eli like that I tell her everything she even said sex with K.C was the way it was because we aren't right together that we've been together long enough that it shouldn't have felt like that, but she is wrong I know it, I notice K.C at his locker and go up to my boyfriend for the first time today

"hey you" I say smiling

"oh hey Clare what's up?" his voice was unenthusiastic

"uh nothing just wanting to talk to my wonderful boyfriend" I said sweetly

"gotcha well I have to get going and I have practice tonight so I probably won't talk to you until tomorrow sorry babe" he gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek and walked off I stood there trying not to get completely upset he's just getting more and more distant, suddenly I feel arms wrap around me from behind and a chin resting on my shoulder

"ouch, that was harsh don't worry about him Clare, you deserve better just stop wasting our time and let me give you the world" I don't even bother turning around I already know it's Eli holding me

"I don't know what to do anymore" I sigh sadness coating my voice not bothering to make Eli move or bringing up his statement the feeling of him is somehow comforting

"I've told you already I'm not going to pressure you Clare, but you can't deny that we fit and you love the feeling I'm giving you right now but I have to go I'll call you later don't be so sad he's not worth it" Eli kissed my cheek sweetly before walking off.

As terrible as it was he was right I loved the feeling he was giving me while I was wrapped in his arms tightly even though I knew it was wrong to let him hold me that way especially out in the hallway for everyone to see but what was even worse I was upset he was walking off even more then I was when K.C walked off, I have a boyfriend this is wrong

The rest of school went by quickly, I went home had a snack took a bath to relax from the long day and the drama with K.C it's 7pm now and I'm laying in my bed bored my parents are out of town until Monday so the house is eerily quiet my phone starts going off and the sudden noise practically makes me fall off my bed I compose myself and check my phone i see Eli's name on the screen and pick it up, he asks if I want to come over to start out project I accept I have nothing better to do and I could use the company deciding to just stay in my pajamas knowing he won't mind I leave for Eli's house, it doesn't take more than 15 minutes before I'm walking up his steps and knocking on the door I do notice that his parents cars are gone though minutes later Eli walks to the door in pajama pants and no shirt I can't help but stare

"see something you like Clare? As flattered as I am my eyes are up here" he places his hand lightly under my chin causing my attention to move to his face I notice the smug smirk on his face no doubt amused from my distraction with his bare upper body

"I-I'm sorry" I stuttered blushing bright red from embarrassment

"don't be sorry you can look at or touch any part of me whenever you want" his voice was low and seductive his tone and insinuation making my body react in a way it shouldn't to anyone other than my boyfriend

"um we should get working on our project" I say quickly feeling flustered

Eli moved over gesturing me to come in we walk up the stairs and into his room sitting on his bed with a respectable space between us he had music playing quietly and we quickly got to our project we were doing really good but after about an hour got a bit off topic

"all I'm saying is a kiss can make you realize how you feel about someone even if you didn't realize it before" Eli said matter of factly

"it cannot putting your lips on someone else's can't change feelings it doesn't work that way either the feelings were there or they weren't a kiss is what you make it" I said just as sure of myself, I watch him glance down at my lips before getting a look on his face I've never scene

"prove it, you said you see me as a friend that's it so let me kiss you unless you're scared I'm right" his voice was challenging and I knew his challenge had double meaning

"kiss me" I say softly I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help myself I want to prove him wrong and deep down I can't help but wonder what it would feel like to kiss him I've never kissed anyone but K.C

Before I have time to second guess I feel his lips press against mine they're soft and warm, I feel a rush I've never felt it's like fire and the flames are enticing pulling me in deep getting more and more lost without a care. His kiss is different than K.C's it's gentle and slow yet passionate the way his tongue gently plays with mine giving me a pleasant feeling pulling me in deeper, my sober thoughts are long gone I'm drunk off the feeling his kiss is giving me as I feel his hands caressing my side and his body slowly beginning to tower over mine K.C is nowhere in my mind at this point I'm intoxicated by Eli.

I feel his body completely over mine separating my legs letting him rest between them, I can feel his hardness pressed against my most private area and instead of stopping it and feeling guilty for having this reaction on someone who's not my boyfriend I feel myself getting wet knowing I'm doing this to him, knowing he wants me, he removes his lips from mine to place slow intimate open mouth kisses from my jawline down to my neck causing me to bite my lip and quietly moan

Things moved slowly but it seemed to go by fast I'm not sure how it got this far but we're both naked and Eli's kisses are making the fire inside me unendurable, I need to feel him all of him and nothing can stop what's going to happen at this point I hear Eli whispering sweet word in my ear and my body rocks in a way that tells him exactly what I want.

I feel him slowly pushing inside me and even though it's a bit painful and tight I want him to keep going, his head is pressed into my neck and I can hear him grunting in pleasure from the feeling he's getting knowing the pleasure my body is giving him is the biggest turn on for me, once he's all the way in I feel him start kissing my ear before asking if I'm okay in a whisper I nod my head and let out an "mhm" that sounds more like a moan then an answer, as he starts making slow passionate thrusts I can't help the noises escaping my mouth the sensuality in his movements are driving me to bliss I've never felt I let my hands rest on his hips feeling his moments and letting the feeling he's giving me take over my body getting completely lost in him now

I feel his pace pick up just enough to send shocks down my whole body as he hit the spot inside of me that quickly sent me into oblivion I moan loudly as I see nothing but stars, Eli must of had the same reaction because I felt his weight fall against my body leaving lingering kisses on my chest as we caught our breath moments later I felt him pull out and lay beside me pulling me into his chest wrapping his arms around me protectively the last thing I felt were his lips on my my forehead then darkness took over me.