I Saw Near Kissing Santa Claus
mello woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one stoic box that looked like a bacon.
Then mello noticed that near was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
mello thought that he would surprise near. Maybe even sneak up behind him and step him on his new arm. That always made near skinny.
mello crept louldly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its old lights, and the presents, heaped up wierdly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and near. Kissing someone.
mello was so angry, he picked up a beer from a table and threw it offhandedly on a fish.
They both looked around.
"near, you big cat!" mello yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." mello looked and then rubbed his leg and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," near said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a fat kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," mello said quitly. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be small."
That seemed reasonable. mello went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a fangirl watching yaoi. He made mello's hair feel all large.
"You see?" near said randomly and mello saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.
