I decided to upload all the finished one-shots I had in my folders in gratitude for being such great friends and reviewers while I go on a (possibly very long hiatus).
Anonymous Asked You: A story where it is Regina's time of the month, then the second half is Emma's time of the month. Established Swan Queen!
Emma snuck into the house. She'd gotten 13 texts from her wife either yelling at her or asking her to come home. She hated it when their periods were all whacked and not synced. She couldn't mask her annoyance with the incredibly clingy woman during that time of the month unless she was just as clingy.
And right now. She wasn't. She was her own independent woman with a wife that she was trying to avoid because she knew that once Regina saw her, she'd be on her like a leech. She didn't need a wife-sized leech. She needed a drink and a shower and a bed.
She took a bated breath as she waited at the bottom of the stairs, listening for any sign of the brunette woman. After seeing a shadow at the top of the stairs, she darted for the study for that drink.
Emma was able to get a sip of spiked cider in, letting the alcohol ease her tensions, letting her body relax when arms wrapped around her middle.
"You stopped responding." Regina whispered into Emma's back.
"Well… I was annoyed." Emma sighed with a roll of her eyes.
"Annoyed?"
"Yes. You are…. Insanely clingy when you're on your period."
"Yes, well, I can't stop your eyes from wandering by giving you sex when I'm on my period."
"You could… I just wouldn't repay the favor."
"So you admit you have wandering eyes?"
"So you admit that you're a fuckin' crazy woman?"
Regina thought a moment and clung tighter. "Come to bed."
"No, I need to eat and take a shower."
"Darling… Please." Regina pouted.
"Regina, Jesus. I need to eat. I haven't eaten since lunch, it's 10 o'clock."
"I'll poof you something in bed.." The brunette enticed.
"I can make my own food, woman." Emma had the heart, and the decency, to pick up Regina's hand and kiss her palm before pulling from her and moving to the kitchen, "I'll be up there soon to take a shower, and I'll be in bed soon enough."
Regina pouted as she poofed from the study.
Emma rolled her eyes once more as she moved to the kitchen.
~0~0~0~0~0~
By the time Emma made it to bed, Regina was asleep—Well, Regina was pretending to be asleep.
The blonde, now ready for affection, leaned over the brunette, who merely turned into the pillows more.
"Hey."
"What?"
"Why are you turning away from me?"
"Because I'm not clingy. I've never been clingy a day in my life. I don't need you to satisfy any aspect of my—"
"You are, you have been since we got together, and you do need me. Now.. gimme some sugar, baby." For the last part of her response, Emma lowered her voice, trying almost to sound like Elvis.
"NO!" Regina pushed the blonde off of her, "You don't get to be annoyed because I want affection then be demanding when you do. That's not how this works. This is give and take my love and you cannot take until you give."
Emma stared at her, "You can be an asshole to me when I'm on my period…" She tried.
Regina rolled her eyes to mask her amusement as she turned back to her side of the bed, "Goodnight, Emma."
"Don't call me, Emma. Or Dear." Emma was now the one to pout.
Regina pursed her lips as she stared at her wife, "You need to be a better wife when our periods don't sync up."
"You need to train me better."
"Train? You? HA! Emma Swan of all people is not trainable."
"I love you too." Emma started, "Now kiss me damn it."
Regina turned away from the blonde. "Not until you shape up."
~0~0~0~0~0~
Emma hadn't shaped up the rest of Regina's period out of spite. Just as she was about to give in to the game they started playing, lady's time for her kicked in and her passion for not giving in was set anew.
Regina though knew better. She knew that Emma was hanging on by a thread. And when she saw the box of tampons left on the bathroom sink, and she already had a text from Emma that told her she wasn't going to text her at all, she knew that the blonde was going to be putty in her hands.
She ignored every single one of Emma's texts. Every. Single. One.
She knew that would piss the blonde off. Though, she thought that this would wait until dinner, turns out, the local sheriff was wound tighter than either woman realized and Emma graced the mayor's presence by lunch.
"Why the hell won't you pick up your damn phone?!" Emma barged in angrily.
Regina sat at her computer. She typed up a report as she spoke, "Oh… I decided to turn it off. I needed a break from all of this technology."
"You need a break from technology? You're on your damn computer!"
Regina stopped typing, "That's neither here nor there…. This is for work."
"I'm work!"
"That's an understatement."
"I mean that I am sheriff and if I need you as the mayor, I call you. I call your cell. And you just turning it off means that you could miss some very big emergency something that you're supposed to be at!"
Regina sat back, crossing her arms and laughed. "Really? You don't think that if it were really something I should know about that I would be notified some other way?"
Emma glared at her wife as she stalked over to the woman. She turned Regina's chair to face her, grabbed the back her wife's neck and crushed their lips together.
"I'm sorry I'm an ass. Can we stop playing this game? I don't like it."
Regina smirked at the woman before her, "You're in so much trouble." She continued laughing.
Emma gave the mayor the mother of all pouts. "Kiss me again, damn it."
~0~0~0~0~0~
By the time their next periods came around, Emma was no longer in trouble and they were synced up.
Both of their clingy, I-need-my-wife-or-else sides were synced too. They clung to each other and neither was annoyed.
In fact, Emma didn't have to say "kiss me, damn it" for the next long while.
