AN: This is the first fic I've done in a while, and the first one for Bones, so my characters may not be perfect. Constructive criticism appreciated. Thank you!
He Didn't Want To Know.
He tries to convince himself that he doesn't care. That he's not intrigued, not intensely curious. That he's not itching to find out what she does in that big apartment all by herself.
To an extent, he knows. He can picture her, typing on her laptop, putting Kathy into all sorts of dangerous situations. Usually with a very big gun.
Maybe, at this very moment, she was sitting back, eyes closed, her auburn hair falling over her eyes, imagining just how Kathy was seducing the truth from a daring and handsome FBI Agent. That her fingers were lovingly caressing the keys, and she was oblivious to the world, fixated on…well, let's be honest, him.
The thought makes him grin childishly and he takes comfort in it, before remembering he shouldn't.
And that, for some reason, any thought that links her to sex, just plain gives him the heeby jeebies.
He doesn't want to know. They're just partners, after all. Sometimes he just doesn't want to know.
Except that he does.
And it kills him.
She seems to realise when he wants to know, even when he insists he doesn't. Because, really, he wants to know that she's an animal requiring emotional and sexual relationships. He wants to know whether she slept with Sully. He wants to know if she's dating another psycho murderer or internet creep.
He tries not to think about it. He stores it away somewhere safe, ensuring Gordon Gordon doesn't start with that train of thought. Because he's pretty sure where it goes. No more Jeffersonian Liason. Goodbye solving murders with the Squint Squad. And he loses his…well, his Bones. There really wasn't another word for what she was to him. She was just Bones. And that explained everything.
Like why she was the only one who was astute enough to recognise his charm smile, but still always managed to say the wrong thing. That she could always become this cold, sterile doctor hunched over remains like they were birthday presents, and yet she knew the victim as if they had been her best friend. That she was amazing. More than all the reporters and academics and publicists knew.
She was just Bones.
And he still didn't know what that meant exactly.
All he knew was that it was three am, and he'd circled the block four times to see whether her light was on. Then he gave up, parked, and went up anyway. She couldn't resist Wong Foo's, no matter how weird she'd been recently. He had the feeling he'd done something wrong, and Brennan, on occasion, was just like most women: she was pissed at him, but wouldn't tell him why. He had a feeling even his most charming smile and most outrageous belt buckle wasn't going to help this time.
"Wong Foo's delivery?" He smiled as she answered the door, a strange feeling settling in his stomach as she stretched and yawned, her sweater rising up slightly.
"Let me guess, you saw my light was on, and you were in the neighbourhood?" Her mouth twitched in brief smile as she gestured for him to enter. He walked in, acting more at home than he felt. She knew that Alpha Male crap was all a sham anyway.
"You know, you'd be the one squinting, if that was true…It's not at all poss-" She yawned again, then shook her head, as if chiding herself.
"If you're tired I can leave Bones, really, I was just…" He shrugged. He wasn't really sure what he was doing there, it just felt like something needed to happen. He needed to do something. She shook her head, and got out the beer from the fridge. Booth grimaced but drank it anyway. Moroccan.
"So…" He started. "Something's been up with you lately."
"No, it hasn't." It was flat and empty. She didn't even bother trying to sound convincing.
"Is it the new guy? I mean, I know it must be annoying the have to break a new boy genius in, but, you just seem a little…" He proceeded cautiously, pausing, waiting for the-
"What? I seem a little what?"
Oh yeah, defensive and angry. Distant and looking down on him. But he knew how to handle it, after all this time.
"Sad, Bones, I was gonna say sad." He started pacing, "Hell, maybe even a little unhappy. And seeing as, however mistaken I am, I consider myself your friend, I thought I'd come see if you were alright."
She paused for a moment, softening, as he knew she would.
"Don't guilt trip me. I'm sorry." She smiled wryly, raising her beer bottle to his in a sign of defeat.
"It's fine, Bones, just tell me what's going on. Maybe I can help?" He sat down again, expectant.
She was annoyed at him for being so good at getting information. It's true, Angela was like a dog with a bone (no pun intended) until she got what she wanted, but when Brennan retreated, she respected that. Gave her time to figure things out, to come back when she wanted to talk. Booth forced it out of her, ready or not.
"Okay Booth… lately I haven't wanted to go out on cases."
"With me." He added.
"Yes."
"So did I do something to upset you? Is it about your father, because you know I'm sorry about that but it's my job, and I have to put my job-"
"First. The job has to come first." she finished shortly. She was always brief now, he was starting to miss the monosyllabic science babble. Maybe it was a sign of trust, that she didn't feel she had to explain everything to him. Or maybe she simply couldn't find the words.
His brow creased in surprise. "Temperance, what are you saying?"
Oh, was this the moment? Please don't let it be now…Part of him wanted to run, hide, make sure they didn't mess up this great thing they had going…but the other part…
"Sully called last night." She said shortly. "He's coming home."
Booth exhaled deeply, relieved. And perhaps a little disappointed.
"Well, that's great!" He said, a little too cheerfully. He looked around for something to fiddle with, and finding a pen, proceeded to twirl it round his fingers, looking anywhere but her.
Oh, but he hated talking about Sully. Actually, that wasn't true. He liked Sully, they had a lot in common. In fact, Sully was him, just a few weeks later, with no qualms about dating a colleague. Oh, and he lived wide, whatever that meant. But he liked Sully.
He just hated talking about her and Sully. Mainly because he always heard things he didn't like.
And because Sully had that stupid idea about him and Brennan…the right idea, his mind whispered treacherously.
"I'm not sure I want him to come back."
And there it was. Out in the open, but still hidden behind multiple possibilities. She didn't want him back because he'd left her. Because things were hectic. Because Zack was gone. Because Sully was just a stand in. Because she'd finally woken up.
Or simply that she was too tired to be the Amazing Dr Temperance Brennan. The author, the doctor, the foster child, the girlfriend, the daughter of convicts, the social alien, the problem solver. Maybe she just wanted to be.
So they sat on the sofa, in silence, until Booth made a stupid joke about televisions solving problems, and she talked about the new book, and they didn't mention Sully. They both knew she was going to end it, and in the morning she was going to come in and be the Amazing Dr Brennan again. Teach the new guy, and go back out on cases, aid Angela in the search for the mysterious missing husband and save the day.
Because she was just Bones.
But for now, they ignored what she'd just said, and what was going to happen in the morning. And she ignored that look he gave her, when he looked at her like she was the most intriguing and important thing in the world. The look that made her want to tell him everything, made her want to jump to conclusions without evidence, and attack bounty hunters, and sing in diners. That look, that damn unquantifiable look.
Like he wanted to know.
