AN: Nothing mine, not making any money, and I shall put them back when I'm done with them.


„Two immortals walk into a bar…"

"…they both say 'Ouch'?"

"I see your sense of humour hasn't improved much since I last met you. When was that? Twenty years ago? Fifty? What name are you going by these days?"

"Adam Pierson, mild mannered researcher, at your service, Milady. I take it you're still not seeing the use of an actual name?"

"Me is as good a name as any, Adam."

"Makes for awkward entries in my journal, though, doesn't it? I can't very well write 'Met Me today, had some beers, made fun of the Doctor's glasses'. You see how that makes me sound slightly mental?"

"It's not like anyone but you will actually read your journals."

"Oh, I don't know, I've been thinking of giving some of them to the Watchers, saves me the trouble of finding a save place for storage myself. Only the harmless ones, though, and nothing more recent than about a thousand years back. Can't really give them anything that might help them find me."

"Do the Watchers still think I'm like you?"

"Well, last I heard they did even though they think it's strange you never fight any challenges, but I can't say for certain since I'm persona non grata in the organisation currently….who'd have thought they'd get so grumpy about it all?"

"Adam, you made fools of them, of course they're mad. They dedicate their lives to watching immortals and yet can't see the one hiding right under their noses? Not the best way to make them like you, old friend."

"I still think they overreacted. It's not like I did anyone any harm. I think they are mostly angry about things they think I did. I swear Dr. Zoll is seeing tempering with the chronicles everywhere when really I didn't do anything….much."

"Oh? So you did do something? If I didn't know you'd left behind shame in the 10th century I'd swear you're blushing, Adam. Very endearing."

"Thank you, I can do cute, very well actually, glad you noticed. And I merely corrected some mistakes in my chronicles that make me look like a fool, nothing more. I made them more accurate, really, even though Zoll is convinced I did the opposite."

"Yes, I am sure you'd never on purpose leave behind any false information…not even amusing false information, like, say, some nonsense about vomitoriums or how you accidentally founded a minor religion somewhere in the Caribbean?"

"Of course not, I am a serious historian, Madam, and your accusations wound me deeply. See how wounded I look?"

"Oh quit it, I'm not falling for the puppy dog eyes ever again. Not after that whole fiasco about getting one of your journals out of a museum in, what was it, 1930? You nearly got me shot, and arrested, and possible executed."

"You memory must be playing tricks on your there. We weren't even close to getting arrested, it all went perfectly to plan."

"Is that what you wrote in your journal? Because in my journal it very clearly say: 'Never let the old man talk you into helping him with anything, EVER!'. I even underlined it, and used capital letters."

"Spoil sport. And here I was going to ask you to help me with this one little matter…nothing dangerous, just a bit of a prank really…"

"No, no, no, I am not listening, stop talking…"

"But it's going to be fun, Me, and completely not dangerous. I've got it all worked out, but I can't do it on my own…"

"Not listening to you, la la la, can't hear you at all…"

"But I really need to get back at Amanda for that thing she pulled last Christmas…hey, don't just walk away. Please, Me? Come on, just let me explain..."

"No, niet, non, Nein, how many more languages do I need to say it in, Adam? Now be a good friend and call me a cab, will you?"

"I'll drive you home, and once I've explained my plan I am sure you'll want to help. Oh don't give me that look, I know how bored people like us get. It will be amusing."

"Good night, Adam. I swear if you and the Doctor ever end up in the same place at the same time it will be the end of the world…"