HEY! i'm back in the game and ready to write! so this is a story about Amu who is kinda like us... wired and proud but she have some struggles and problems at home included a hard past...pore pore Amu... and Ikuto. hope you like this little story of me and just to have it said: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT THE PLOT!
'You know when you feel alone and wrong and it feels so damn right? Well that's my life! and if someone ask I just say' I'm not crazy I just do as the voices tell me to'. I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it!' People say I'm weird and looking for attention, I say I'm me and you are giving me the attention so thanks!
I don't know what I'm doing and I never think over what I say I don't have friends because everyone is afraid of what they can't understand, I don't mind actually. I would much rather have no friends then have a thousand fake once.
I have always been looking for 'my gift' hoping that I would have some sort of talent but I haven't found it so I guess you can say I'm one of god's experiment rabbits that went wrong, but once made, once lived.
Well my name is Ami, I don't know what made me write this but I know I probably have some sort of problem with my grammar or spelling… or is that the same? Well you see, I'm one of those with straight A's and still don't know a fucking thing! And if you have to ask; yes that's possible! I think that's one of the things I hear almost every day, well that and how ugly I am. But I'm proud of my ugly ass and they can say what they want.
My interests is kind of nothing actually, I can sit and stare at a spot on the wall for a half an hour and think it's funny, as I wrote/said over, I don't have other friends than myself so I'm used to be my own company. I write but I'm not good so if you understand this much you are good! My 'hobby' is music, the only things that always have been there for me and always could set the right words on a situation, so to say it easily; I have a lot of music on my iPod. Music is the only things that have been there for me all the time even though my mother's suicide…
Yes, my mother took her own life and now I'm all alone with my dad who always works just because he is too afraid to face the truth that his wife, my mom is dead and she took her own life.
And now you are probably asking: why? Or how? Well it was my birthday…yes I know, and I came home from school and saw her there she had killed herself by a knife in the hart and beside her there was a present and a card where it was written 'I'm sorry'. I cried for 9 months every day and I stopped eating and dirking, my dad was to busy to ever notice but I didn't really want him to neither.
The only time my dad sat me over working over time again, was when the school called him telling I had lost conscious, so they called an ambulance, he came when he was finish working. He yelled at me for an hour. It was all terrible and it didn't help when dad started a new job at a hotel as a manager. I came to give him the lunch to a change, man how I wish I didn't. I came and there he and some clients stand talking and I hide so I don't bother him. And I hear him say: 'no, no I don't have kids and I don't think I ever would have.' I know you probably think I'm over reacting but that is one of those things you never forget and you end up laying awake at night wondering if you heard right.
So you see my life isn't as wonderful as yours but I'm standing here with my head held high and I think I can't change the choices of god but I can change my choices to have a better life but to be honest I don't know what is the right choice here, and all I wish is to see my mom again and ask the same question as you asked me; WHY? Why did you take your own life? Why did you leave me here wishing to be with you up there, but suffering trough it because I know dad won't take it if I took my life too. Why?
Written 3.36 am, Ami
'Wow that girl has been through a lot.' I thought sitting on my PC just surfing. I'm glad I overheard those girls when they talked about this blog. My eyes scanned the screen, looks like she wants to be anonym so there is only written a name here.
"Ami."I said to myself just wondering if it was her real name
"IKUTO! Your home!" I got busted my sister, damn it. I climbed out the window as fast I could but remembering to grab my violin on the way and jumped down from three to three. The sun was way too bright and I there is nothing to do… I guess I'm going to the park today.
(Amu POV)
I was sitting in the park on 'my' bench, I know but since everyone is avoiding me no one ever sits here besides me.
It had been a long day, I was so amazing that I manage to wake up to late and had to run all the way to school since I was too late for the buss and of course I had to wake up to late on the one day the teacher actually remember me! AND if that wasn't bad enough the 'poplars' decided that today would be the perfect day for dumping paint on me. Yay… this is the best birthday ever…
So I sit here just writing on my nest blog article and I see this awesome looking guy! He has blue hair- Ha! I'm not the only one with a unusual hair color!- and is wearing ripped light blue pants and a black tee-shirt that hugged his body and show of a hint of abs. God I can feel myself blush by just looking at him. He is looking down, like he is just trying to block out the world? Is he like me? I watched as he suddenly just jumped up in a tree and lay down like he was about to sleep, but he looked at me. Straight in the eye and I know that my blush is growing. I'm so embarrassed right now! I have to look away I tell myself again and again in my head but it's like my eyes are glued to his, like I can't look away. I think he feel the same since he isn't looking away too, then this stupid dog comes running at the tree barking and he jump longer up so I lost the sigh of this mysterious, handsome guy… I wonder what his name is.
I don't know how long I sat there just looking at the screen before I continued to write, my mind was like scanning all info about this guy I haven't even talked to! I think he likes dark colors, he had a violin bag so I guess he plays, tall, skinny, handsome… probably a jerk, all good things have a bad one and this is way too many good once for him to be a good guy, I bet his like Tadase a good looking selfish jerk who only care about his pride!
I don't know how long I sat in the park but when I suddenly came to reality it was dark outside and I was the only person in the park so I decided that I would start to go home, I have never been a fan of darkness, well I almost only wear dark colors but after 'that' incident I have been scared of the dark.
When I was finished packing all my stuff together, I started walking a little bit faster home. It was cold so every breath I breathed was visible and I felt the hair on my arms rising since I only was wearing a black tee-shirt where it was written 'hate and love its almost the same' and a black pair of ripped pants with some of my favorite boots and a skull belt.
I walked the same way as always, but after a while I heard a beautiful but yet sorrow melody that seemed to give the path a whole new expression, like the whole world just stopped to wait for me to take in the song, the way the full moon was shining and made the whole park kind of magical and the new music, I have never thought that a song other than hardcore, heavy metal or similar could express the way I feel but… it was like this came from the heart instead of from the violin. I started walking toward the music; it didn't take long to know it came from a hidden place in the park, it was like walking blind but still know where you're going. I dogged a few bushes and the violinist became visible.
It was beautiful just how the whole scene looked, the moon right over him, the stars making it all sparkle and the music wrapped around the area like a warm wool blanket. I'm not so sure anymore if it's the cold or the music that make my hair rise. I can't make out who it is that is playing but right now I don't really care. When he stopped he looked up and to my –and his- surprise it was the guy from before and I bet ten bucks I have a huge blush.
"Wow." I couldn't find any other words to describe it.
"So I guess pinky liked it." He said back with a smirk that made him look like a God in the moonlight.
"Pinky has a name you know!" I was starting to get angry, he is just as I expected!
"And am I so lucky I get to know?" he was absolutely love this!
"And who's asking?" crossed my arms and tried to look angry, but to be honest it was kind of funny… but that is something that will stay un-told in my mind.
''Ikuto, is asking pinky what's her name is." He started to pack the violin back, and I adjusted the PC bag on my shoulder, not because it was something wrong but because I was nervous.
"A-Amu" DAMN MY STUTTERING! He took up his violin case and looked at me with a smirk like he had just found it very funny to embarrass me- which is not totally impossible.
hehe;P wait and see! i hope you like this,, i used some of those copy and past things you put on profiles, so i DON'T own them! i don't know how wrote those but it belongs to those who wrote them in the first place^^ review and i may write faster!
R&R
Victoria *"."*
