Hey guys you are all amazing, it's been almost a year since I last updated (Holy mother of F) and I am so sorry! I've still been getting favourites which is crazy and you guys deserve so much better so, i'm revamping the story. I'm not 15 anymore and my writing has developed so much more than what this story shows. I'm sorry to everyone who has stuck with me, the story line will basically be the same but i'll try and get these changes up quickly. Please bear with me, I'll try and be better I promise!
Love all of you!
Val Shadow
Alyss POV:
I stared at the three boys ahead of me. Their entire presence was making me angry, furious, and downright vengeful. As if he could sense my rage, the middle one, Embry, squirmed. Smirking, I sat back, admiring my nails as Embry tried to catch my eye. Ha, if it were only that easy.
I don't always stare at people to make them uncomfortable. I mean sure, sometimes I just do that for the hell of it, there isn't much entertainment around here anyway. No this time I was doing it out of pure annoyance, hurt, you know teenage angst and all that; typical adolescent girl anguish. Those three boys, Quil Ateara, Embry Call and Jacob Black, were the closest friends I'd ever or probably will ever have. So yeah, when they ditched me for Sam Uley, I was a teeny tiny bit hurt. It's not every day your friends leave for a furry afterschool special. Not to mention the fact that these friends were the only happy thing in my life. The reason I had previously kept going.
I wish it weren't so cliché, but my life is pretty mundane. Ironic huh? We were inseparable, we had many things in common and they were like my big brothers, even if I was slightly older they were always taller. All except one, Jacob Black was the one I was hopelessly and pathetically in love with, I know I sound like a romantic movie but you know, teenage girl. Anyway it's not like it mattered, he's Adonis and I'm Echo, you know the water nymph who got cursed because she loved narcissus? She just echoed everything other people said, fading away into nothingness. Well that's kind of like my life, cursed to love a guy so self-absorbed he's obsessed with a clumsy, emotionally stunted leech lover. Oh wait, how do I know that? Yeah, I'm awesome like that.
I didn't resent Sam, he was right to tell them to be careful, not have any human contact, blah blah blah. I knew why he had to have them under control and of course I know what they were but I didn't really care. Sure, they could rip me in half if they wanted to, great, I'd like to see them try. I'm way sturdier than I seem. I didn't think them repulsive for what they were, it's not like they could control it. To fight vampires and to protect us at the risk of their own lives was heroic, the only problem was it being unlikely anyone outside of the elders and the pack would ever be able to acknowledge their courage or them for that matter. They already cut off almost all relations outside of the pack, myself included.
I'm not psychic or anything, I found this little blue book, actually I tripped over it. I'd found it lying around the house. God knows how it ended up there. It was enlightening to say the least. So sure, I understand why they have to act like I don't exist. But knowing this doesn't dispel the absolute misery of being close to your loved ones and never knowing if they'll ever look you in the eye again. I hate to say it but the tugging at my heart every time I thought of them. The prickling behind my eyes, as I saw them, messing about with everyone they loved. It was almost like I'd never even known them. It was harrowing to realise you were never as important as you thought. Talk about an ego adjustment.
I wish that they would just say hi, even nod. Just acknowledge that I was there and willing to put my life on the line for them. I wish someone would do for me what Jake did for Bella, but they either didn't know I knew the stories or didn't want me in on it. I really hate Isabella Swan, miss prissy with a capital P. She was definitely leading Jake on, purposefully or not, she was. I'm jealous and possessive, I admit it, but she has a boyfriend. Edward Cullen, the vegetarian vampire of the Cullen family and he's already sparkly enough for the both of them. There's no need to take my sun as well. Plus she was a whiney bitch who had a tendency to have dramatic and tragic run ins with evil vampires. When Edward came back and he inevitably would, she would go back to him without a second glance at Jake.
The bell rang, signalling an end to class. I darted out of the room without giving anyone the chance to ambush me. No need to cause myself any pain by actually conversing with anyone. They all eventually left anyway. Most of the people here disliked me and I assure you, the feeling is mutual.
Lunch used to give me a respite from all of that, somehow, when I had my friends I could give less of a shit what other people thought. But now? I wasn't so sure.
Entering the cafeteria, I spotted the last empty table; how depressingly predictable. I sighed, examining my reflection in the open window. My face was pale and sullen, my eyes hollowed and dull. There was no brightness to me anymore, the bags under my eyes as black as my heart.
It had gotten to the point these days where the only thing I looked forward to was fighting with Keira Wallace. Now don't be fooled, I can be an absolute bitch but I don't tend to go looking for trouble, not when I have no one to back me up. But she had a face that was asking for a black eye.
"Hey tramp, looks like you're all alone, again." I snorted, pulling a book from my bag. She just really wasn't up to my sparring potential. That was so pathetic it didn't deserve a response.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you slut!" I chuckled darkly, oh how that hurt me.
"Fuck off Keira." I made sure to pronounce each word perfectly, to make sure she got the message. "Everyone knows who the real slut is." Her pretty face scrunched up into a very ugly expression. I must have hit a nerve. By this point of course, we had an audience.
"Yeah you, you little bitch." She snarled, knocking my book from my hand. That was just rude.
"Keira I'm telling you once more, so make sure you get it this time. Fuck off." Her hovering was pissing me off, my patience was wearing thin and my fist was salivating at the thought of burying itself in her plastic nose.
Of course I may have forgotten the little detail of my slightly more than human strength. Oops?
She looked so surprised when she flew into that wall, I kind of felt sorry for the amount of money that would be needed for that face, judging by the blood pouring out of her broken nose. But then I remembered all the snide comments and I decided I just really don't care.
"Hmm" I said aloud standing in front of her. "I'm sorry but that's as much as I can improve your face today, if you want me to try again tomorrow, just swing by." I said calmly, continuing reading at my table ignoring the sobbing bleeding girl curled in a ball at the wall. Everyone was whispering to themselves, as her possie picked the humiliated girl up, trying to sooth her tattered reputation. Good luck with that. Point one for the loner.
My aggressive episode however did not go unnoticed.
"Are you ok, Lyss?" Jacob asked quietly. I hope he's ready because before that bell goes I am going to show him exactly how ok I really am.
I was ready to give him a piece of my chaotic mind as I stood ready to pummel some fucking sense into his thick head. That was derailed when he hugged me, and for a second I forgot myself. For a second I was weak and I let myself melt into his stupidly muscular arms. His eyes stared down at me, big and sincere. Jacob looked like he expected me to forgive him. He looked at me like he thought the sudden zap I felt between us would change everything. No one has ever been more wrong.
"I'm so sorry Lyss, we never meant to hurt you." He started but I was so done. This day had been a disaster. All I felt was rage towards this prick of a best friend that I just could not get over.
My hand hit his face with surprising malice. He didn't even step away, he was too slack jawed staring at me like an imbecile. I couldn't bother to look into that yet, I just wanted to scream.
"DON'T YOU GO APOLOGISING TO ME THINKING IT WILL ALL BE OK! I HAVE CRIED OVER YOU THREE!" I screamed slapping the other two for good measure. They looked so scared and I was too angry to realise it was probably because of my eyes.
"YOU HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO ME IN WEEKS! WEEKS! FOR GODS SAKE GROW A PAIR AND AT LEAST TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT ME AROUND!"
All three began shaking and I had to stop myself from telling them that I knew everything.
"YOU'RE GOING TO JUST STAND THERE AND SHAKE AT ME!? REALLY? THAT'S ALL!?" I took a deep breath, closing my eyes to make them go back to normal grey. Think calm, I thought, calm, calm, calm.
"Look, I get it. You guys have better choices in friends now, you don't need me. You have a better life and family. Just please tell me next time."
I couldn't help but notice how deflated Jacob became at my declaration. This sudden irrational feeling welled up inside me. A sudden sadness, like I needed to comfort him, hug him, anything. I quashed it, the asshole didn't even have the decency to say anything. He just stood there with his mouth open waiting for his brain to connect.
I was done with these stupid wolves and their inability to trust someone they'd known since diapers. So I just turned and walked away, ignoring their calls and pleading. Just walking from everything I had known, trying to forget this gaping black hole where my heart used to be; ignoring the fate that surely awaited me at home. There was no rest for the wicked and surely I was the wickedest of all time to deserve this shit storm. Thanks a fucking lot fate.
