"Casual Banter"

A Sylph Linkshell Story by Nidonemo

::It's a beautiful day in Vana'diel, the sun shines warmly upon the Asheron's Dream Linkshell House. Nido bursts into the living room, Darcia following him.::

Nido: MOMMMMMM! DARCIA LEFT ME IN MEA AGAIN!

Darcia: I did not!

Nido: DID TOO!

Darcia: Did NOT!

Nido: He promised to escort me to the Zone but he just LEFT me there!!

Reiswind: Darcia! How many times do I have to tell you?! DON'T leave your brother alone like that! He's only level 6 and he can't defend himself!

Darcia: Well he put Crawler poop in my shoes!

Reiswind: Oh Nido... ::She wrinkles her nose::

Nido: I only did THAT because YOU wouldn't Power Level me!

Darcia: I was BUSY!

Nido: Doing WHAT?!

Reiswind: Yes, doing what?

Darcia: I...was...uh...helping out noobs!

Nido: You were at the Kitty Bar again WEREN'T YOU!?

Darcia: Uh...

Reiswind: I didn't raise my son to be a PERVERT! You KNOW that place is forbidden!

Darcia: I swear I wasn't!

Reiswind: Oh really? How many Mithra did you help?

Darcia: Five. ::Slaps his hand over his mouth::

Reiswind: How dare you lie to me! You're grounded mister, and if you EVER leave your brother alone at the Crags EVER again I'm taking away your Teleport Crystals! Do you understand me young man!?

Darcia: Yes mother...

Reiswind: Now go to your room, and Nido, don't put fecal matter in people's shoes, it's dangerous AND disgusting! What if he had a cut on his foot? He could have gotten an infection!

Nido: I'm sorry...

Reiswind: Don't say sorry to me, say it to Darcia, he's the one who had to put his shoes on and find your little "surprise".

Nido: I'm sorry Darcia...

Reiswind: Now go outside and play, and don't tease things that can kill you in two hits or less! I am not coming out to raise you again!

Nido: Yes mommy...

Reiswind: Ugh, those boys are going to be the death of me I swear...

Chihiru: Hello Reis how are you this morning?

Reiswind: Oh Chichi! Good to see you! Oh my morning's been just great, what with Darcia leaving Nido in Mea...

Chihiru: Oh did he do that again?

Reiswind: Yeah, I mean Nido's so defenseless at his current level, I can't believe Darcia would take advantage of that...

Chihiru: Well, boys will be boys.

Reiswind: I guess. Oh! Congratulations on your new Artifact Armor! It looks stunning on you!

Chihiru: Thank you! You look great today as well!

Reiswind: Oh this old thing, I got it at the Auction House ages ago! There was this great sale and I thought YAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Chihiru: Darcia! Nido! Don't pull your mother's tail! That's very rude!

::The boys run outside laughing::

Chihiru: Are you okay?

Reiswind: Yes...I'm fine...BUT THOSE BOYS WON'T BE GETTING DESSERT TONIGHT!

::From outside you can hear two groans, then the sounds of fighting::

Reiswind: I swear Chichi they're going to send me to the Crazy House...

Chihiru: Um, how's Samanosuke?

Reiswind: Oh he's fine; he's in Rabao right now getting a Telepoint Crystal.

Chihiru: Well that's nice, oh did you hear? Seeco pulled a Goblin Train in Valkurm Dunes and killed three parties when he zoned it by accident!

Reiswind: Oh my goodness! I hope he didn't get in trouble!

Chihiru: Oh you should have heard the shouts! The GM's had their hands full, what with all the swearing and everything!

Reiswind: Well, as long as he doesn't do it again. That Galka's going to get himself banned if he keeps that up.

Chihiru: Yes, well he learned his lesson and he only trains non-aggro monsters from now on.

Reiswind: Well that's good. Oh have you heard about-

Nido: WHEEEEEEE!

::Nido runs by with about 20 angry Savanna Rarabs behind him::

Reiswind: NIDO! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!? NO TRAINING RABBITS IN THE HOUSE!

Darcia: WOOOOHOOO!

::Darcia runs by with about 40 angry Yagudo behind him::

Reiswind: DARCIA! THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO! YOU TAKE THOSE YAGUDO OUTSIDE AND KILL THEM THIS INSTANT YOUNG MAN! DON'T MAKE ME GET YOUR FATHER!

Chihiru: Wow, impressive training skills.

Reiswind: Oh yes they are impressive, but just look at these carpets! They used to be Sheep's Tooth White. Sheep's Tooth White! Now they're Yagudo Blood Red, Sarutabaruta Mud Brown, and even Crawler Dropping Purple!

Chihiru: Crawler Dropping Purple?

Reiswind: Don't ask.

::Nido passes by, arms full of Fire Crystals and Millioncorn::

Reiswind: And just where do you think you're going with those?

Nido: I'm going to my room to try to improve my cooking skills.

Reiswind: You know the rules, no synthesizing in the house.

Nido: But Mommm...

Reiswind: No buts mister, you remember what happened when you tried to synth a Jug of Carrot Broth in your room. We were picking up Water Crystal shards for days AND your room smelled like a Rarab convention!

Nido: But I swear I'll be more careful this time!

Reiswind: The answer is still no. If you're going to synthesize do it in the back yard.

Nido: Awww...

Reiswind: Don't make that face at me, I'll bind it and you'll be the laughing stock of Windurst.

Nido: Yes mother...

Chihiru: Have you seen Shocker or Omegaboost lately?

Reiswind: Oh they said they were going to enlist with the Royal Knights of San d'Oria, you didn't know?

Chihiru: Oh wow, how exciting! We'll finally have some military men in the Linkshell!

Reiswind: I haven't heard from Pratz in a while, where has he gone off to?

Chihiru: Oh last I heard he was leveling in Kazham.

Reiswind: Oh, I want to go back to Kazham soon. It's so pretty.

Chihiru: Ugh, not me, I don't do humid jungles. I'd much rather vacation in Rolanberry Fields. I hear there's a wine tasting festival in June.

Reiswind: Oh don't tell Samanosuke, the last thing I need is a drunken husband.

::The two Mithra laugh and continue to chat, outside Darcia and Nido fight and argue over who should have the spool of silk thread that they had found, and time marches on.::

END