Title: Final Apology. Final Goodbye.
Summary: Lana loses everyone close to her.
Rating: G
Dedication: Kyle & Chris
Spoilers: Covenant
Time: After Covenant

Lana felt as though her whole body was going to shut down as sat there, listening to her best friends eulogies being given.
She couldn't even hear what the pastor was saying about her beloved companions. She listened to the real eulogy in her head, as the memories raced through her mind.
This shouldn't be happening. They were too young; she was supposed to die young, not them. But she hadn't died, because Clark had always been there to save her? a tear trickled down her cheek as she thought of how no one had been there to save him.
This shouldn't be happening. Chloe and her should be up in their room, laughing, and talking about boys, school, and life. Chloe should be all excited about her latest mystery to uncover. She should be at her computer, using the amazing gifts of writing she possessed, and yet it was happening, Chloe's life had ended.
Lana would have given anything in the world to just see Lex and Clark joking around together again. She wanted to feel Clark's embrace around her, and make her feel safe. She wanted to hear Lex quote one of his favorite authors, sharing his wisdom.
Lana wished she could join Clark, Lex, and Chloe. It was too painful. She had walked away from them all for Paris... why?
It was most painful for her to lose Clark. She had never gotten to say goodbye? and now she'd have to do it over his coffin.
Lana felt guilt wash over her as she remembered being angry with Clark for not showing up... for not saying goodbye. The day she arrived in Paris, she received the call.
Lex had been poisoned, Chloe died in an explosion, and Clark was found murdered in the caves.
He couldn't show up, or say good bye... he was dead.
Clark had taught her to love and trust the world again, he taught her to be her true self; he taught her a lot.
Lana was painfully aware that her 3 best friends had died agonizingly. Yet she was alive, because she walked away... life's not fair.
Lana didn't think she could do it... but she had to say goodbye, so she walked up to the front of the church, where the 3 caskets rested. Chloe's was closed, but Lana was thankful; she didn't want to look at any of her friend's cold faces. She wouldn't.
She would remember them with the fullness of life.
Clark was half grinning, half smirking as his eyes glisten with the laugh that escaped him. He was wearing a blue flannel shirt, as he wrapped his arms around her.
Lex greeted her with wisdom and affection as she walked into the room.
Chloe flashed a smile as she pried her eyes away from her computer, to talk about life, and bond in only a way sisters can... that was what she was like- a sister.

Yes, that was how she would remember them, she wouldn't look in their caskets, it would be too painful, and would likely kill her, in spirit, if not physically.
How could things happen so fast? 3 huge chunks had been painfully ripped from her heart. She had so many regrets and was excruciatingly aware of each and every one.
Lana was aware that everyone else had left the church already, heading out to the cemetery, and she got up, and followed them.
Once there, Lana knelt before all three graves, and cried the blackest tears. She placed a rose on each of their graves. It especially hurt her to place it on Clark's. Memories of a white rose on the ground outside the airport flashed threw her head. Another rose, red this time, occupied the trash, after Clark had given it to her along with an apology.
The clouds above seemed murderous, as the sound of the red rose hitting the ground, resounded in her hears.
On the most agonizing and painful day or her life, Lana stood up, getting off her knees.
This was it, this was her goodbye to the people she loved most. She whispered "I love you." As she let tears fall from her cheeks, to Clark's grave.
Those tears would serve as her request for forgiveness; her apology.
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