AN: I edited this chapter so that I could have a better break between this chapter and the next, so the beginning of Chapter 2 is not new material, but it does end with new material. I was hoping that by posting the new stuff it would get me moving on finishing this story and working on it in the next week.
It was good to hear laughter coming from the pilot's lounge, though Wedge had learned to enter carefully whenever he wasn't sure where Wes was located. One never knew if the cause of the mirth was a well-timed prank, or if that prank could be turned on anyone entering the room. He stood in the open doorway for a moment, and then relaxed as he saw a small circle of pilots all peering at a datapad while Gavin tried valiantly to grab at it. And curiously, Wes was on the other side of the room alone and quiet.
Wedge went to the bar first, getting a drink, and then looked around the room again. Most of the pilots were clustered around Gavin, and while he was curious about what their shared joke was he knew he'd hear about it later. Wes was sitting quietly in the corner, still alone. And he hadn't noticed before but Hobbie and Inyri were seated at another table, talking in a way that suggested intimacy. Well, that explained why Wes was alone. Better to head off trouble now perhaps, so Wedge picked his direction and went with it.
"Tired?" He sat with a slight thud and leaned back into the chair, "What's up with Gavin?" Wedge gestured over his shoulder and Wes looked up briefly and shrugged.
"Gavin's reading selections are being critiqued I think." Wes picked up his glass and swirled the contents for a moment. "That new holo-romance novel about Rebellion pilots; it seems there are some fans here."
His whole demeanor seemed wrong, Wedge frowned. When Wes was quiet it was usually a bad sign. Either he had done something that he didn't want to get caught at, or he was getting too introspective and needed someone to shake him out of the bad mood. Usually that was Hobbie's job, Wedge looked over his shoulder again, but Hobbie seemed to be distracted at the moment. And maybe that was really the problem, it was one of the worst kept secrets of Rogue Squadron that Janson and Klivian were more than friends and wing-mates.
"Are you okay Wes?" He tried not to sound too pushy, but shooting straight was going to be the only way to get results.
"Yeah, just tired like you said before." Wes finished his drink off in one big swallow, "I should get some sleep before the morning briefing, hmm?" He stood quietly, and glanced over toward Hobbie again before leaving the lounge.
Tycho had to step out of the way to avoid being run into as they passed in the doorway, and he frowned at Wes's retreating back for a moment before shaking his head and moving into the room. He headed straight for Wedge and signaled for the serving droid before he sat, "What's wrong with him?"
"Take a look across the bar." Wedge sighed, "I think that's the problem. I just hope it doesn't become a squadron problem too."
"Oh. That doesn't look good." There was a shout from the group of pilots suddenly, which got everyone's attention. Gavin had finally reclaimed his datapad and was pushing his way out of the room. "Do I want to know what that is about?"
"Have you heard about that new holo novel, Romance of the Stars? It seems that Gavin is a fan." Wedge smirked, "I got the idea from Wes that he was being teased about it."
"Winter told me about that, she has a theory about who the author is but she won't tell me." Tycho shrugged, "Not really my genre but it's supposed to be pretty accurate on the piloting details."
"Nothing wrong with a little romance now and then, " Wedge glanced back at Hobbie and Inyri who were still whispering over their table, "as long as it doesn't hurt anyone."
Wes was laying in wait in their quarters, tossing a small plush creature that had been given to him by one of the mechanics who worked on their X-Wings. He watched Hobbie carefully for a few minutes before speaking though, "Going out?"
"Yes. Inyri needed some help and I volunteered." Hobbie glanced back at Wes briefly before he finished combing his hair.
"Need more help? If we aren't going out together, as we had planned, I have free time. What did she need help with?"
"It's private, I don't think she wants anyone else involved." That sounded a little weak even to himself, but there was no way that he was going to explain what was going on to Wes. "I forgot that we were supposed to do something together. Can we do it tomorrow instead?"
Wes snorted, and dropped the toy, "We were supposed to go out last week and you've forgotten about it every night since then."
"Oh." Hobbie stopped in the middle of grabbing a set of datapads, "I'll make it up to you later, I promise. I've just really got to go now." He finished collecting the pads and stopped in the doorway, "I won't forget again."
Wes waited until the door was shut again, "Yes, you will," and hit his pillow.
"You know, they won't burst into flames just from you staring at them." Corran sat next to him, without invitation, gesturing at Hobbie and Inyri across the room, "I know, I've tried that on occasion, and even with some training in the Force it never worked."
"I don't want to start them on fire. I'm only trying to read their minds." Wes made a grand waving gesture with one hand. "Can you do that?"
"Um, no. Can I ask why you want to read their minds?"
"Don't you listen to the squadron gossip? I want to know why he dumped me, and why he hasn't had the guts to tell me to my face before hooking up with someone else."
Corran was never as insensitive as some claimed he was, as a trained investigator he had to learn how to read body language and expression long ago, and as much as Wes was trying to show indifference there were key tells to his expression that Corran was reading. "Gossip isn't always true. Inyri would have said something to Gavin, or to me, if she were really involved with anyone. We've got first dibs on the "break-her-heart-and-we-hurt-you" speech. Does someone have that right over your heart?"
Wes looked at Corran, slowly smirking, "That would require someone to admit that I had one." He slapped his hand against the arm rest of the sofa and pushed himself up, "I'd thank you for the pep talk, but it wasn't really very peppy. If I'm going to cry about my love life, I'd rather it be in private so the rest of what's left of my reputation isn't ruined."
His wave was flippant as he left the lounge, but Corran was almost sure that his last statement was closer to the truth than Wes was willing to admit, even to himself.
Wes was acting funny. After years of working and living, and loving, with someone it wasn't difficult to notice a change in their behavior. Hobbie was used to Wes acting funny, but it usually had something to do with actually being or trying to be funny. Even if it only ended in Wes being more trying than funny. This wasn't that sort of funny.
It had started so gradually that Hobbie wasn't even sure when or why it had, and now it was so obvious that he had heard other Rogues mention it. They didn't know the half of it. Every time he had tried to touch Wes in the last few days he had been rebuffed, and when he had tried to climb into bed the night before he was told in no uncertain terms to go back to his own bunk. Maybe it was because he had gotten back to quarters so late, Wes had been sleeping and he often was a bit surly when woken from a deep sleep for what he thought was an insufficient reason. Anything other than an attack on their base or an emergency mission seemed to fail in Hobbie's experience.
But now they were in the briefing room and Wes was sitting across the room, with Corran on one side and Gavin on the other. They usually sat with each other at briefings, saving a seat if one of them was running late for any reason. Hobbie frowned, and sat next to Inyri after she waved at him.
Wedge started the briefing soon after everyone was seated, and Hobbie only caught half of what was said about a pirate band; his attention was still focused on Wes, across the room. Inyri finally nudged him with her elbow, and he faced forward as Wedge gestured over a projected star chart.
"- the sims. Tycho has set up a few scenarios for us to run through this afternoon, so everyone should be there at 1300 hours. Any questions?"
Corran raised his hand and Hobbie's attention was caught by Wes as soon as he looked across the room again. He willed Wes to look at him, but Wes was intently focused on Wedge, and Hobbie almost missed their dismissal.
"Hobbie," Inyri nudged him again, "I've had an idea for solving that problem and I wanted to talk to you about. Are you free this evening?"
He nodded absently, watching as Wes left the briefing room with Tycho, "I suppose. I had a few ideas that I wanted to go over as well." Hobbie glanced around the nearly empty briefing room, "Let's wait to discuss it until later in your room. If your roommate is out for the evening?"
"Absolutely, I asked for some private time before we came to the briefing." Inyri grinned, "She has a friend to visit in his quarters."
"At least we aren't the only ones having fun." He glanced toward the doorway before standing, wondering where Wes had gone with Tycho.
Hours later, after the afternoon sims, Hobbie was still wondering about what was going on with Wes. There had been a lot of the regular banter between Rogues during the sims, much of it from Wes, but none of that had been directed at himself. Instead, there were jibes at the expense of Corran, Tycho, and even a few directed at Wedge. Hobbie had been thinking about something he had discussed with Inyri and their plans to get together, and was starting to feel awkward about interjecting his own sarcasm to the chatter.
He was quiet when they finished the exercises and scheduled the briefing to discuss and improve upon the simulations, but he didn't miss Wedge putting an arm around Wes's shoulders, or the odd look that Gavin gave him when he stared at the two leaving. Tycho seemed to notice his unease then also, approaching slowly, "You've been more quiet than usual today, Hobbie, is everything alright?"
"Fine," He hesitated slightly, "Do you know where Wedge was going with Wes?"
"Probably the same place most of us are headed, the lounge." He looked at Hobbie more closely, "Are you sure you've been okay? The current betting pool is already laying odds on you and Wes getting back together, if you've been regretting that decision." That was a risky thing to say, but having stayed out of all betting on the subject, he had nothing to win or lose by saying it.
It seemed to have a different impact than the one he had been expecting though. "Getting back together? I wasn't-," Hobbie paused and looked toward the hall, "I guess I never realized that we weren't . . . Everyone thinks we broke up?"
Tycho remained inscrutable, "Maybe you should talk to Wes and find out what he thinks." He slapped Hobbie's shoulder, and followed the others who were still streaming out of the room.
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary in the pilot's lounge, everyone chatting and going over the sim as they normally did. Good natured ribbing and a few afternoon appropriate drinks, and though Hobbie sat back and watched that wasn't unusual for him to do either. Wes was talking quietly with Wedge and Nawara Ven, but every once in a while he would make a gesture to indicate a direction as though he were relating something from the sim experience. He didn't look in Hobbie's direction even once, and that was more telling than anything else. Something had gone terribly wrong and he had never even noticed.
He barely noticed when Inyri joined him and placed a drink in front of him. "Hobbie, are you alright?"
"No, I don't think I am." He turned slightly, "Did you know that Wes and I broke up? Because I didn't know anything about it, and I've been trying to figure out when it would have happened and all I can come up with is our project. I've been spending more time with you than him." Hobbie took a deep breath, looking at Wes across the room. "I want to tell him about what we've been doing."
Inyri looked as though she might object for a moment, and then she looked over at Wes also. "Alright." She glanced between the two of them, "If this is my fault, I'm really sorry, Hobbie."
"If this is what caused the problems I have with Wes, it isn't just your fault. I should have told him but I was too scared that it would blow up in our faces. I should have insisted on telling him about this when it started taking up so much of our free time. Instead, I've probably been hurting him, and maybe he won't even want to listen now." He shook his head, "I'll try, but I have a bad feeling about this working out in the end."
He used Wes's regular trick for waylaying him; simply waiting in their quarters until he appeared. Wes stopped short just inside the room, clearly not expecting to see Hobbie there. Hobbie moved behind him, blocking the exit, and Wes watched him warily.
"Planning something I should be worried about?"
"No, just making sure you can't leave without hearing me out first." Hobbie took a deep breath, "We need to talk, and you should sit down." He turned briefly to the door, punching in a code to the security plate, a 'please do not disturb' message to make sure they wouldn't be interrupted. "Please. I have something to say and this isn't easy for me."
"Is it about you and Inyri?" Wes sat on his bunk, and was busying looking at his boots, avoiding looking at Hobbie.
"Yes." He paused when he saw Wes's jaw clench, "But not in the way you're probably thinking." He moved to sit across from Wes, on his own bunk. "I haven't been seeing Inyri romantically, or anything like that. We've been working on a secret project."
"Secret project? Did Wedge give you an assignment? He didn't say anything to me, he didn't even hint. He and Tycho thought that you were dating her too, why would they act like that if they knew anything?" Wes glanced toward the door, even more upset at the thought that his friends might let him think the worst and be hurt by it instead of letting him know the truth.
If it was the truth. He was still a bit skeptical and he turned to another tactic while Hobbie was trying to figure out what to say. "And I'm just supposed to believe that after you've broken every plan we've had to go out, stopped sleeping with me, practically stopped talking to me outside of mission parameters."
"I did all of this the wrong way, I admit that. I should have told you what was going on from the beginning, but it wasn't a mission related project and Wedge has nothing to do with it." Hobbie grabbed a datapad from the side of his bed, "This is what we've been working on." He tossed the pad to Wes, "It's the second project, and we didn't plan for our deadlines very well. The first project didn't have deadlines and we never really expected to be successful, but they had all kinds of requirements for us this time."
Wes was reading the datapad and frowning, "What is this?" He shook his head as he scrolled through the writing, "Your project is what, writing? You've been spending your time with Inyri over this?"
Hobbie fidgeted, "Have you heard about that new holonovel making its way around the base? Romance of the Stars? Well, um, that was our first project. We wrote that, or I wrote most and then I went to Inyri to help with some of the romance details. This is supposed to be the sequel. The publishing company liked the first one and it's been selling really well, so they contracted us to write two more. "
"Why didn't you tell me?" Wes was still scrolling through the datapad. "I could have helped you with romantic details. At least then I wouldn't have thought-" He sat the pad down and glanced toward the door, "I thought that you just didn't want me anymore. And then everyone else starting thinking that you didn't want me anymore too."
"I didn't tell you because I'm stupid. I thought that it would just be another joke and I put so much into writing the first, so much of myself. I didn't think it would be popular, I thought that it would just be another way to look bad in front of the squadron, everyone getting a good laugh at the idea that I might have something other than fighting and killing, and pessimism, to me. Wes, I didn't want anyone to know, it's published under a pseudonym and I only went to Inyri because I thought a female perspective might add more depth since most of it was written from a male point of view." He bit his lower lip briefly, "I should have told you, I just didn't think about the way this would look or how anyone else would interpret it."
Hobbie moved over to Wes's bunk and placed a hand on his friend's knee, "I was stupid, but I never intended for any of this to hurt you."
Wes looked conflicted for a moment, "I'm not sure if I can forgive you right now. I'm not even sure I understand what's been going on yet." He bit his lower lip briefly, "You wrote a holonovel and Inyri helped, and it's popular so the publisher wanted you to write another? And that is what has been taking up all of your free time for the last several weeks?"
Hobbie nodded, "Yes."
"And you couldn't tell me because you thought that I would what... make a joke about it? That I would intentionally hurt you? Because you don't trust me to keep anything secret?" Wes stared down at Hobbie's hand, which was still on his knee, "I thought that we trusted each other with our lives every time we go out with the squad. I've been trusting you with my heart, I thought that you were doing the same, but you can't even trust me with a novel?"
"That's why I'm so stupid, because I do trust you, Wes. It's just that sometimes I wonder why you want anything to do with me; we're so different, and I put everything I was into this novel. I was scared that you would read it and find it lacking anything of value." He removed his hand from Wes's knee and moved back to his own bunk.
"Hobbie, how could I not find value in you, in what you do, in what we have here?" Wes shook his head, not understanding the direction the conversation was going.
Hobbie stared at the datapad Wes was still holding, "We see things very differently sometimes, you and I. It isn't always a bad thing, but there is something that is really fundamental about who we are that is different." He took a deep breath, "Wes, you enjoy life. You seek out new experiences with more zeal than anyone I know, even Wedge and Tycho, any of the other Rogues. I'm not like that, until recently I think I was mostly just waiting to die; probably on a mission, maybe in the middle of a fight over some planet I'd never heard of before, it just seemed inevitable and I didn't really care."
Wes tried to listen without interrupting, or jumping to conclusions, and it was difficult for him to remain silent and not argue with what Hobbie said, so he picked one point. "What do you mean by, until recently? You don't feel like that anymore?"
Hobbie sighed and leaned back against the wall his bunk was pressed against, "Not usually. You know, when we first started sleeping together I didn't think it was anything serious for either of us. It isn't uncommon, and I thought that we were just wing-mates, friends with a little extra." He shrugged, "And then it started getting more serious. Even when we had other options, I only wanted you and I started thinking that I was falling in love with you. Then I knew I was in love with you."
He took another deep breath and rubbed his eyes. "And now I screwed it all up." His jaw tensed and his voice lowered so that Wes could barely hear him, "I ruin everything. You shouldn't even want to be with me, Wes. You deserve someone better; I just ruin everything." Hobbie tensed slightly, not looking at Wes, but hearing him move away from the bunk across the room. When he heard the door to their quarters open and close he froze in place, and waited for several moments until the silence made it clear that Wes really had left the room. Had left him, alone.
Hobbie rubbed away the moisture that had appeared in his eyes and sat up straight, looking around the room as if for an answer. Wes had just left, not leaving any sign of where he was going, if he was coming back, what he was thinking. Hobbie got to his feet, still looking around their quarters, "So stupid. . . ruin everything." He felt panicky, as though the walls were suddenly closing in on him and he couldn't stay there alone anymore. Grabbing a light jacket he left the room too, heading for one of his favorite hiding spots on the base, a place to be alone and think.
Wedge slammed his fist against the bulkhead outside the medical bay, wishing he could hit someone instead. He took a deep breath and turned to pace in the other direction for a few steps before turning around again quickly and pointing at Wes, "I don't know what is going on between the two of you, but I thought that you were both professional enough to leave it out of the cockpit." His voice raised slightly, "What you did out there belays all of the experience I know you have; it was more than a rookie move, it was completely irresponsible and your wing-mate almost died because of it. Is that something you want? Because I have no doubt that some of the Rogues are thinking that."
He glanced at Tycho, who was sitting in one of the waiting room chairs. Tycho had remained silent, and was worrying over Hobbie more than he was paying attention to Wedge's rant. Wes was paying very close attention, however, and was both pale and subdued, and Wedge wanted his message to sink in very well. "And one of them will be very upset with me because they are going to be your new wing-mate. I can't trust you and Hobbie together, not anymore; not when whatever this problem you are having could cost one or both of you your lives. You are both worth more than dying for someone else's stupid mistake." Wedge shook his head, still practically vibrating in his anger, "I just can't-"
The door to the medical bay opened with a swish, interrupting him mid-sentence and he turned to see a medical droid emerge. Tycho was on his feet already, and Wes was staring silently.
"Major Klivian was seriously wounded, but he will recover." The droid's head moved slightly, giving the impression that he was looking at Wedge. "After a few days in bacta, we should be able to release him for light duties."
Wedge nodded, "Thank you." He glanced back at Wes, and then to Tycho. "Please keep my office informed of the Major's progress." He turned quickly and left the room, heading back to his office, knowing from past experience that they wouldn't be allowed to visit Hobbie until after he were in bacta.
Tycho followed him closely, quiet until they reached the office, and then sitting with a sigh in front of Wedge's desk. "If you are going to rearrange wing pairs, I want to volunteer to be paired with Hobbie."
"Any suggestions on who should be paired with Wes? I was thinking about Gavin or Ooryl, both are fairly steady and would be a good balance to Wes. There probably isn't a single Rogue that I'd have to worry about pairing with him, except perhaps Forge and that's as much to do with what is going on between Wes and Hobbie as anything."
" I think Ooryl would be a good choice. Corran or Gavin would be better with Inyri, at least they would pay closer attention." He shrugged, "But I have another suggestion; who are you going to pair yourself with? It would probably cause the least amount of disruption with the current assignments if you paired yourself with Wes."
Wedge shook his head, "I'm not sure if that would be a good idea. I'll figure it out by this afternoon, and bring it to the squadron at tomorrow's briefing. Maybe we should go through some basic sims this week as well to reinforce the lesson."
