A one shot. I hope everyone likes it. Please comment, vote ect. I will update violet Marie Jonas I just need time. Depression has overcome me again and I need to get this out. It's my feelings thrown in here. This is nick Jonas telling my story only he's gonna do it as if he was me.
I couldn't breathe I felt trapped inside my mind like everything I did or said was wrong. I felt like a failure, a failure to my family and friends. I knew in my heart I wasn't not really. I'm writing my feelings out on this paper because I just want to feel again. I'm tired of pretending, I'm tired of pretending to be happy when I'm not or pretending everything is fine. It's not. So many emotions I can't control. There's many reasons I'm depressed. I've already told you one. I feel like a failure. Remember that? Well I do and it's because I can't be who everyone expects me to be. I watch as she gets "A's" in her classes and I had to drop all mine. I watch as he becomes manager and I'm just a deli clerk. I can't be like them. I can feel the disappointment they have because I'm not succeeding. Another reason is because I miss her. More than she knows... She's my best friend my sister and now I feel so alone.
Every goodbye feels like the end. It gets harder with each day. Driving away has to be a crime. Every hug is never enough. The tears fall as my heart shatters into a million pieces. Who knew goodbye would cause so much pain. I surely didn't.
I'm depressed I said goodbye to her again. I know she needed to do this but inside I'm dying. I miss her and not like when your mom leaves the house for a little while and you miss her. Like someone ripping out your insides slowly until you feel empty.
I remember recently just wanting to give up ( Nick:Hey you better not!) I won't nick. As I was saying because I just felt like I could be at peace again and it got to the point where I knew I had to do something before I just gave up. It was at that point Demi came out with her book and after I had read it my entire world changed. I needed to hear that I wasn't a waste of space, that things would get better. Wow I think I should really wrap this up but before I do these lyrics have helped me and I want to share them. These are from Jay Stolar from his song "Lost" Smile it gets better than this, never settle for less, we are more than we think, hearts should pound in their chests. I put my own twist on them but it's basically what it says. Anyways thanks for reading. I hope you liked it or at least got something out of it.
