Knowing What Love Is

Chapter 1: Supposed To

Every child in the world is supposed to be cared for, cherished, and most of all, loved. The key words there are supposed to. Rachel Berry never really got what she was supposed to get. Her fathers, Leroy and Hiram Berry were both kind men and wanted a daughter in theory but their careers took over. They left Rachel with babysitters and nannies until Rachel was eleven years old. She begged them for no more nannies, thinking one of her fathers would stay with her, but all she got was a huge house all to herself. She got used to this lifestyle; being alone all the time and learning to take care of herself. But then, her fathers both got job offers overseas. Being the selfish men they were, they took the job with no problem until they realized they had a teenage daughter. So, they sent her away to live with the only other person that would make sense, her mother Shelby Corcoran.


The worst part of finding out that your fathers wanted to give you away to someone you've never met was the fact that your whole world is going to sense of stability was going to be ripped out from under you. You could possibly be forced to live in another state, in different conditions, and have someone tell you what to do. Rachel didn't want to go live with her mother. Sure, she thought about what her mother was like and how different her life would be if she actually was living with her, but that didn't mean she wanted her thoughts to become a reality. Especially not when you find out your mother is one of the world's most cherished and beloved actress and singer of the century. Rachel was not ready to be followed around by some guy with a camera nor was she ready to give up the privacy she so desperately loved.

"Rachel! The car is here to pick you up. We loaded all your luggage into the trunk. Do you have your ticket and passport?" Hiram Berry yelled from down the stairs. The Berry men were getting ready to leave for Europe the next day but they had to send Rachel off to New York first.

"Yeah…You said the rest of my things will be sent by tomorrow, right?" Rachel asked while she walked down the stairs with a small carry on bag that held a book, gum, her phone, and her iPod.

"Yes now, be good for your mother. We love you…We'll call from time to time." Leroy said while looking at some emails on his phone.

"Maybe we'll visit you if we ever come back here, okay? We love you, Rachel." Hiram said and kissed Rachel's forehead before walking her out the door.


Rachel was too busy trying to pick a song to notice a boy had sat in the empty seat next to her. Soon enough an elbow accidentally hit her arm and caused her to look up.

"Oh, god. I'm sorry. These seats are kinda small for me…Actually most seats are small for me…" The boy said while looking anywhere but at Rachel.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. It didn't hurt and it's not exactly like you can help it." Rachel responded with a small smile.

"I'm Finn Hudson." The boy said and stuck out his hand.

"Rachel Berry." Rachel put her small hand into Finn's over sized hand and tried to shake his with some kind of strength.

"So Rachel Berry, what're you doing on a plane to New York all alone?" Finn asked while showing off his adorable crooked smile.

"I'm being sent to live with my mother. I've never met her before so this shall be loads of fun. What about you, Finn Hudson?" She asked while returning his smile.

"My mom just recently got remarried to this guy and his son moved to New York so we are moving to New York. She let me stay behind a day to say goodbye to all my friends and stuff." Finn said and shrugged his shoulders.

"Your mom got remarried? Do you like the guy?" Rachel questioned and put her iPod in her lap.

"He is kind of cool, I guess. I haven't really had a father…Why are you being sent to live with your mother? You've never met your own mother before?" Finn asked with an confused look on his face.

"Yeaaaah…long story. My dads are going to Europe and they weren't about to take the teenage daughter they paid for but ended up not wanting with them. So, they are sending me to the woman who gave birth to me." Rachel said in an exsparted tone.

"Woah, you okay? Sounds like a tough time. I mean, I can't imagine not knowing my mom. She is everything to me. I'd be totally lost without her." Finn said while shaking his head.

"I've never actually had someone like that. I've had to kinda raise myself. My fathers were always to busy with work. Hopefully my mother is the same. I have grown to not having someone."

"Don't you think it'll be good to have someone to take care of you?" Finn asked.

"I can take care of myself." Rachel said defensively.

"Yeah but if you have your mom there, you won't have to." Finn pointed out.

"I don't need her there nor am I sure I want her there. Soon, I'll be in college and I won't have to be with a parent of some sort."

"If that is how you feel, then alright." Finn said while putting his hands up in surrender.

"Good; it was nice talking to you." Rachel said and then put her headphones in, signalling the end of the conversation. She just wanted this plane ride to end.


When Rachel stepped off the plane, after a semi-awkward goodbye with Finn, she didn't know what to expect. Hell, she wasn't entirely sure who she should look for until a woman who looked extremely similar to her came walking over.

"Rachel?" The woman asked.

"Uh..Yeah? You're Shelby right?" Rachel asked awkwardly.

"Yes, I'm Shelby." Shelby said while swallowing the lump in her throat. Her baby girl was standing right in front of her and she was beautiful.

"Um…So are we going to stand here for awhile longer because I'd really like to take a shower and get settled in?" Rachel asked after Shelby just continued to stare at her.

"Oh! Right, right. Here let me take that. I have a car outside to take us back to my apartment. You can get a shower and then unpack." Shelby said and picked up Rachel's luggage. She just couldn't believe her baby was with her. Over the years, Shelby had acquired fame and fortune but none of it compared to being able to talk to her baby girl.

As the two walked out of the airport and got into the car, they had been surrounded by paparazzi. Not that Shelby enjoyed it but it was a good distraction at the moment. The air surrounding the two had become awkward and not a lot of words had been spoken. Shelby was busy trying to not cry and pull Rachel into her arms and Rachel was trying not to run away; she hated this entire situation.

"So Rachel, are you hungry? When we get back to my, I mean our, apartment I can cook you something." Shelby offered kindly.

"Umm…sure, I guess. I don't care really…" Rachel said and looked away and out the window. She'd never been to New York before. Like any girl who grew up loving Barbra Streisand and musicals, New York was a dream. She'd never admit it to anyone but she secretly would love to be an Broadway actress. Her fathers had dismissed that dream a long time ago, saying it was outrageous to actually think she could make it. Now that she had her mother, who happened to be very famous, maybe she could become one…

"We're here." Shelby said while smiling and opening the door. Rachel stepped out and looked around. The building seemed nice and since Shelby was rich, she had no doubt that she had a beautiful apartment. If you have the money, why not live in luxury?

"I got your bags. We only have to take the elevator up to the 20th floor." Shelby said and started walking into the building. Rachel had been silent the entire time and continued not to speak.

Soon they were in the elevator and walking to Shelby's front door. Shelby had unlocked the door and they had walked in. Once again, Rachel was busy looking around and taking in her new home.

"I can show you around and then you can get a shower. After your shower, we can eat. Do you have any allergies?" Shelby said and looked down. She should know whether her own daughter was allergic to anything.

"Not that I know of…" Rachel said and crossed her arms. She took some pity on Shelby. She looked so sad when she asked.

"Alright…well here is the living room. Through that door way is the kitchen and from the kitchen is a small dining room. I don't normally eat in dining room…Only when family is around…Oh! That reminds me; my family would love to meet you. I was thinking next weekend, if that is okay with you? Most of my family lives in Pennsylvania." Shelby asked and smiled at the girl.

"I don't mind…but they want to meet me? Why?" Rachel had never met any of her fathers' family.

"Because you are family…You're my daughter." Shelby couldn't help the grin that took over her face.

"Can you show me other rooms now?" Rachel asked while looking at her feet. Shelby had looked incredibly happy to be Rachel's mother but she barely knew her. Why would she be so happy?
"Oh, of course. Right this way." Shelby said while leading Rachel towards the hall way that held all of the bedrooms, Shelby's office, and her music room.

"Do you have any interest in music? Do you sing or dance?" Shelby asked once they got to her music room.

"Yeah, I took dance classes back in Lima. I was in the glee club at my old school but our club wasn't very good. It was mostly me and a couple of other kids who could kind of sing." Rachel said and ran her fingers over the piano in the room.

"Can you play?" Shelby asked when she saw Rachel touch the piano.

"A little…an old babysitter of mine used to teach me but then we moved away from her and my dads didn't think learning the piano would be useful to me becoming a doctor."

"You wanna be a doctor?" Shelby asked with a small smile. Her baby was smart enough to become a doctor.

"I guess…I wouldn't mind becoming a doctor but to be honest, the whole doctor thing was my dads' idea. Don't get me wrong, I would love to help people but I'm not sure if I'd really want to go through all that school." Rachel was busy looking at her mother's musical selection and didn't realize how much she was sharing.

"Oh well…what else are you thinking about?" Shelby asked, she was just glad the girl was saying more than three sentences.

"I used to want to be on Broadway but that dream ended a long time ago." Rachel said and picked up a book of Barbra Streisand songs.

"Broadway? Really?" Shelby said with a giddy smile on her face until Rachel's head snapped up. The girl looked scared with her now wide brown eyes.

"Uh…Yeah…" Rachel put the book down and walked towards the door. She hadn't realized that she had told her mother her secret. She needed to get away from her.

"Can you show me to my room now?" Rachel asked while walking out of the room.

"Sure…you have a bathroom attached to your room but you can just take a shower in my room." Shelby said and led Rachel to her room before showing her to her own room.

"The bathroom is through that door. In the closet there are towels and wash cloths." Shelby said while pointing to the bathroom door.

"Alright…" Rachel said while walking to the door.

"I'll go cook something up for us." Shelby said and turned to walk out of the room before Rachel called her back.

"I need some clothes to change into. Can you get my suitcase?" Rachel asked from the bathroom door way.

"Sure, give me a second." Shelby said and left the room to retrieve the suitcase.


After Rachel had gotten out of the shower and Shelby had finished cooking up some simple spaghetti, they both sat down on stools at the counter top in Shelby's kitchen.

"So, do you have any questions for me? I mean, this whole situation is probably really hard for you and I get that." Shelby said before taking a sip of her water.

"Umm…What exactly are your rules?" Rachel didn't really think her mom would be around much and even though her dads weren't around much, they still had rules. The question had caught Shelby off guard; she was expecting a personal question or something.

"Well, normal rules. No drinking, no drugs, no parties, no skipping school, be respectful, be home by ten on school days and eleven on weekends, keep your grades up, keep your room clean, do your chores." Shelby listed off some of the most basic rules she could think of. She'd never had to parent anyone before so she'd probably have to add things to that.

"Alright, that seems fair." Rachel said and continued to eat her spaghetti.

"Anything else? You don't want to know anything about me?" Shelby asked.

"What is your work schedule like?" Shelby looked at her before answering. This whole conversation seemed business like instead of a mother-daughter reunion.

"Well, I've taken some time off of work. In a few months I'll go back to work. I have been offered a role in a new musical so then I'll probably work most days during the week but I'll make sure I'm home when you get home from school. Eventually, when the show goes on Broadway, I'll spend nights there but I was thinking that after school, you could come to the theater and spend time there." Shelby said while studying Rachel's reaction.

"I can just come back here instead of going to the theater. I'll probably just get in the way."

"Nonsense. I don't know how things were with your fathers but I don't plan on leaving you alone very often." Shelby said with a voice that held no rule for arguments. Rachel looked up at her mother and shook her head. She wanted to stay here instead of being around her; she liked being alone.

"Are you done with your food?" Shelby asked after seeing Rachel stop eating and start playing around with her food.

"Yeah…" Rachel said and gave her plate to her mother when she offered her hand to take it.

"Go sit on the couch, I wanna talk more." Shelby said and turned with the two plates to go into the kitchen. After cleaning off the plates and putting them in the dishwasher, she walked out to the living room.

"What do you want to talk about?" Rachel asked when her mom came into the room and sat next to her.

"Sweetheart, I know this seems weird and awkward but you're my daughter and I'd like to get to know you." Shelby said and took Rachel's hand gently in hers.

"Uhh…what do you want to know?" She wasn't exactly used to someone showing affection.

"Anything and everything. What's your favorite color, your favorite song, your favorite subject in school, your favorite movie? Just anything really." Shelby said and smiled a little.

"Well…I like English, science, and math…My favorite movie is Funny Girl, you know the Barbra Streisand musical from 1969? I like the colors pink and purple…" Rachel said and started playing with the bottom of her shirt.

"I love Funny Girl! It's my favorite movie too." Shelby said with a grin and a small chuckle. Like mother like daughter.

"Really?" Rachel asked while looking at her mother from behind her bangs.

"Yes! We should watch it together sometime. I just love Barbra. She is one of the reasons I decided to become an actress. I've actually met her."

"Oh my god! Are you serious!? How amazing was it!?" Rachel asked and for the first time in a while, she was excited.

"It was amazing. She is so wonderful. I took a picture with her, I'll have to show you it." Shelby said with a smile.

"Wow…" Rachel said with a smile but soon the smile faded and she yawned.

"Are you tired?" Shelby asked and checked the clock, it was only nine thirty but today was a pretty stressful day for her baby.

"A little…" Rachel said with a blush. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before and she always has hard times sleeping on planes. The fear of crashing was too overwhelming for her brain.

"You can go to bed. We'll talk more in the morning, okay?" Shelby asked and brushed some hair that had fallen in front of Rachel's face to behind her ear.

"Okay." Rachel said and yawned again. She got up and started to walk towards her new bedroom until she heard Shelby walking behind her.

"Umm…What're you doing?" Rachel asked when she got to her door. Shelby was standing right next to her.

"I'm going to tuck you in and say goodnight." Shelby said with a confused look on her face.

"Why?"

"Because you are my daughter and even though I don't really like to admit this but I always loved when my mother would tuck me in."

"I don't need to be tucked in. I'm not five…Even then, I didn't get tucked in. I've been surviving just fine with a simple goodnight." Rachel said and shook her head. Being tucked in made her feel like a baby and she most certainly wasn't.

"Well, you aren't anymore. Go on, open the door. You can get changed in the bathroom and I'll wait by your bed." Shelby didn't care if Rachel didn't want to get tucked in. She'd never tucked in her baby before and she was going to do it now.

"You really don't have to do this." Rachel said when she walked out of her room and got into bed.

"I don't have to but I want to. I've never tucked you in before, Rachel. You are my only child. Just let me do this." Shelby said pushed Rachel down lightly to make her lay down. She then covered her with the blankets she had put on the bed yesterday. She would eventually have Rachel pick everything out for her new room but for now the room was simple.

"Goodnight, honey. I love you." Shelby said and kissed Rachel's forehead. Hearing those words, caused Rachel to tear up but feel some sense of doubt towards that statement.

"Goodnight." Rachel said quickly and rolled away. She couldn't be loved by her mother…They had only just met. Her fathers had known her for fifteen years and yet they didn't love her. Her mother just couldn't love her.


Hola everyone! So, this is my fanfiction...I don't know if I should write more or not...review please? Gracias, mis amigas!

This is dedicated to my bestest friend Cray Cray Hay Hay/Shelbs Gervais and her Jesus baby little M&M. Love you long time. You are perf to the perf and remember to never become a prostitute...it never ends well. I'm under your Christmas tree. (: I can't wait for Mocha Mary and to meet our queen, Idina Menzel together...maybe she'll sign Mocha Mary's forehead. Pray to Saint Shelby Corcoran.