Chapter One: Six Months After

Most of my days are taken up by visits to the doctor. He pokes and prods at my damaged body, trying everything to make the melted flesh heal. It had gotten much better, enough so that I could conceal it under my clothes, and never have to face the reminders of that day.

Peeta was usually with me, for his skin had been melted away as well. His was not as bad as mine, so his presence was mainly for my benefit. He likes to pretend otherwise because he knew I didn't want his help or sympathy. But, I was always glad he was there.

We don't speak much. Peeta is always around though. Always checking up on me, making sure I'm okay. I'm not exactly sure how he does it. How he faces every day with a smile. Even the days when he has a hijacking moment, which is still most days. It's getting less frequent and less violent, but every so often, he loses it. That's when I speak the most because that's when, for once, Peeta needs me. I pull him back to reality and comfort him after. After he has seen the horrible flashbacks and lies that the capitol planted in his head. This is when I see him truly vulnerable and scarred as the rebellion left both of us. Every other time of day, he keeps that smile on his face and I know it's for me. He doesn't want me to have to worry about him.

I feel guilty for this though, because I'm not as strong and cannot keep smiling, even for him. Even when I'm not being haunted by the nightmares. That's when he speaks the most, after one of my nightmares. He has learned not to try to shake me awake after I have hurt him in my sleep. Instead he holds me close and whispers quiet, soothing words until I jolt from it. Then he comforts me until I can fall asleep again. I can't handle the nightmares without him. I've tried.

At first, I thought we should live separately, in our own houses, at least until I could sort out my feelings. But, this left both of us completely alone for long hours of the night. I wasn't there to pull him back from a hi jacking moment or a flashback and he wasn't there to comfort me after the nightmares. We never decided that he would come back, it just happened. But now we're never apart and he sleeps in my bed. This did not help, however, me sort anything out in regards to my feelings toward him. Until I can do that, this will have to do.

During the day, I usually sit in silence with my thoughts. Peeta moves around the house, cleaning and baking, trying to keep busy. I know its because he thinks this will prevent a hi jacking moment, and it does seem to work to some extent. Except when there is a movement, or word, or smell even that reminds him of his time in the capitol. Then he usually drops whatever he's holding and his pupils become huge, like they're blinding him from reality. Sometimes he's angry, which is harder because I have to try to fight him off before I can get to him. Other times he's completely vacant. The vacancies are more frequently occurring now as opposed to the anger, and I almost hate them more. It's like he is completely gone, and sometimes I worry I won't be able to pull him back.

I can usually sleep better during the day when there are no dark shadows lurking around me, so Peeta encourages me to, which I usually decline because I want to be there in case he has a hi jacking.

One morning after we have been to have our skin poked at some more, he says he has something to do outside so I can sleep. It had been a particularly rough night before so I am tempted, but I don't want to leave him in case of a hi jack, but he insists. So I reluctantly go upstairs and immediately fall into a deep sleep.

I awake a few hours later, sweating through my clothes. Even during the day the nightmares haunt me. It's just more manageable when it's light out. I climb out of bed and pull on some new clothes and go downstairs to check on Peeta. He was no- where to be found so I assumed he was outside. I peer through the peep- hole in the door, trying to avoid going outside and the stares that other district 12 inhabitants gave any time I did, but still couldn't find him. So, I take a deep breath and open the door and step out onto the front porch.

"Peeta?" I yell but there is no answer. Even though we live very secluded from the rest of what is left of district 12, people were still all around, re building the district. As I shout Peeta's name, I see heads turn to stare. I try to ignore them and step further out onto the porch. "Peeta?" I yell again louder. I start to worry that he had had a particularly bad hi jacking and had wandered off somewhere. When I reach the edge of the porch and could see all around the house, I gasp.

What I see literally takes my breath away. The whole front border of my house is covered in Primroses. I slowly step down the front steps and off the porch toward them. I kneel down in front of them and breath in their beautiful scent. A scent that reminds me of home. My old home. They are beautiful, just like my Prim.

"Do you like them?" Peeta said suddenly from behind. I stand up and turn to him, unable to do anything. My eyes started filling with tears and I nod. Peeta smiles "I thought you would." I smile, for probably the first time in six months. This gesture truly shows me how much Peeta cares and assures me that he will never leave. That he will continue to put up with me and we will keep living our dysfunctional life. The depth of his love for me is now truly exposed.

"I can't believe you did this," I am finally able to choke out.

"Anything for you," Peeta said and I smile again, "I thought you could something bright in your life."

"I already have something bright in my life," I say and he looks confused which makes me laugh, "You." He smiles back and for the first time since we've been back he leans down and kisses me. It's a gentle and quick kiss. I know he's afraid of going too far too fast because he doesn't want to scare me off. But the hunger inside me begs for more. Without thinking, I pull him back down for a much harder kiss. I can tell he's surprised at first, but soon he embraces it as well and kisses me back. I hear him drop the shovel he had been holding, and he pulls me in closer, wrapping his arms around my waist. I can feel every eye in district 12 on us now, but I no longer care what they think.

I had no idea I had hungered for this so much in the past six months. How much I had missed this closeness between us had been so unapparent to me, until I was given it again. It was like the flowers opened a gate that I was unable to see before, but now that it was open, I was never going to let it shut again. I pull away slightly, with my arms still around his neck. He rests his head on mine.

"I've missed that," he whispers. I think of how much I have missed it also and how the hunger still burns inside the pit of my stomach. I look up at him and smile. I move my hands down from his neck and interlace my fingers with his.

"Come on," I whisper and pull him into the house after me. When we reach my bedroom, I'm sure he must understand what I want. At least I hope. I do not want to explain it to him as much as I want it because as Peeta said himself long ago, I'm innocent.

To my relief, he does seem to understand. He pulls me in close and kisses me hard again. I put my hands under his shirt and pull it off over his head. He runs his fingers through my hair slowly and kisses me again. He's still being extremely gentle, but that's just because he's Peeta. I want to show him how much I want him so he wouldn't be as afraid, but he's one step ahead of me.

"Are you sure?" He whispers in my ear. I answer by pushing him back onto my bed and ripping off the rest of my clothes before climbing on top of him. For the first time since the fire, I am not ashamed of my scars. I want him to see every single one. He doesn't say anything, he just pulls my head down to his and kisses me hard. We remain attached at the lips as he flips us over so he's on top of me.

I can see his piercing blue eyes better than ever. I feel like they are seeing into my soul and I have never felt closer to anyone. I never want to let him go. Peeta moves forward suddenly and lets out a gasp. Our breathing becomes heavy and fast.

In this moment, I wonder how I could have ever doubted my feelings for him. How I ever thought that there was anyone who could fill the void in my heart better than Peeta. He and I are connected in too many ways to count. Our burned and melted skin now rubbing against each other makes me even less ashamed of my own, and closer to him than even before.

Soon our breathing slows and he rolls over to lie next to me, still panting slightly. "We should've done that earlier," he says and I laugh. He rolls back onto his side and props himself up on his elbow. I turn my head and smile at him again and he begins stroking my hair. This was one of the first moments in the past six months that I can honestly say I was happy. "All that because I planted some flowers?" I roll onto my side as well, to face him.

"They're not just some flowers," I say and put my hand on his cheek, "And you know it." He smiles and kisses me lightly. As he pulls away, he rests his forehead on mine and places his hand on the back of my neck.

"You love me, real or not real?" he asks daringly. I look back up into those piercing blue eyes, and without a doubt, I give him my answer.

"Real."