So... Here's a story about Ray/Bryan, Tala/Kai. Yaoi. M/M. Gay. Don't like don't read. Easy, huh? Lots of side parings... Oh, and season two and three never happened... Even though Hillary and Dachi are mentioned. There are some OOC when it comes to the Demolitions…

Warning: Yaoi, M/M, Lemon/Lime, mentioning of rape and abuse.

A HUGE thanks to Virpi, my Beta. Not only for beta reading, but also for kicking my butt into getting some work done! hugs

Discalimer: I. Do. Not. Own. BeyBlade!

R&R

Chap1

Bryan's POV.

The match was over... I had seen them take the neko-jin away on a stretcher. He had fought so bravely. I just wanted to die right now. How could have I done that? What had they turned me into? When Driger hit me every emotion had returned, I had been saved.

I was taken to the whipping room straight away when we returned to the Abbey. I hadn't said one word during the way back.

The punishment was bad, REALLY bad, but nothing hurt more than the image of the hurt raven haired teen. They dumped me on my bed and left. My team barely glanced at me. What had I done to them! We had used to be like one, every one knew the deepest despair, longing and happiness of the others. Then I had changed. Boris had changed me...

I just laid there staring at the ceiling. The image of the Neko returned, painfully clear and I started to cry. I let out a small sob that made the others jump. Tala came over to my bed and looked down at me, a puzzled look on his face.

"Bryan?"

"I'm... I'm... I'm so sorry Tala! Forgive me? Please?"

Tala flung himself at me, pulling me up in a hard hug.

"You're back Bryan! Thank god! We thought we had lost you forever!"

Tala was crying now, as were Spence and Ian.

"Sorry...I'm so, so, so, so sorry! Please?" I sobbed into Tala's chest.

Tala pulled back a bit and looked me in the eyes.

"It wasn't you, so therefore you have nothing to be sorry about."

"Forgive me please?"

"If it makes you feel better you're forgiven."

"That goes for us, too." Ian said. He was sitting on Spencer's knee, fiddling with the blonds hair. They had always been together, none of them really knew when friendship had turned into love.

The four of us just smiled at each other, tears still streaming.

"Who..who was he? The one I..I..hurt?"

"His name is Ray Kon, he's in Kai's team."

"I almost killed him...and he saved me. What pain we have caused to that team! First Kai, then their bit beasts... and now this... Will they ever forgive us? Will he ever forgive me?"

"We can try... You can try."

"How Spence? How can I get him to forgive me?"

"Write him. I think he's the kind of guy who would appreciate an apology. It's a start anyway."

"You're right... I'll do that..."

"But first we have to clean you up." Tala said. He helped me into the bathroom and to the bathtub. An hour later my injuries had been cleaned and patched up and I was sitting on the bed, trying to figure out what to write.

"Need help?"

"Yes please Tal."

He sat down beside me with a small sigh.

"Tala?"

"Hmm?"

"You miss him, don't you?"

"Hell yes! Just waking up without him near me is torture. But I'm happy for him. He's free. I want him near me, but I don't want him here..."

"Did you tell him about...?"

"No. Never got the chance..." Tears trickled down the Wolfs cheeks. Not the ones of happiness from earlier, but of pain and shame.

"He didn't leave you, you know, he left this."

"He didn't remember me..."

"He does now, doesn't he?"

"Yeah... Well, lets get back to your letter."

Ray's POV

I woke up to some one carefully opening the door. A small person entered the room and stepped into the light of the raising sun and I sat up and glared at him.

"Ian."

"Ray."

"What do you want?"

"Calm down. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to give you this."

He walked over to me with an envelope in his hand. I reached out and took it, there was nothing written on it.

"What is this?"

"A letter."

"I know that, but from who and why did you come here to deliver it?"

"I came because it was safer than using the post office. I was chosen because I'm not as intimidating as Tala and Spencer. We did not want to scare you."

"So therefore Bryan was completely out of the picture? I'm not afraid of him."

"I know, but we should be glad if he's able to stand on his own at tonights match."

"I hurt him that bad?"

"No, not you. Just read the letter and try not to think too bad of us."

"You're not doing this by your own free will, are you?"

"Ask Kai about that."

Ian turned and opened the door to leave, then he turned his head back at me.

"Thank you Ray."

"For what?"

"For giving us Bryan back."

There were tears in his eyes when he closed the door.

"What is going on here?" I turned my attention back to the letter and opened it. Inside there were four pages. I was amazed by the writing, the letters were small and neat and it had been written by a quill. I started to read and my mouth fell open.

Ray

I know that I don't deserve it but by asking for it I have started the way to earn it; forgive me.

I don't want to excuse myself, but explain. As you probably know by now, the Abbey is far from what it seems to be. Their desire to succeed in their plans makes them do things that shouldn't be done. I was altered, changed. Locked away for months receiving "therapy". I don't exactly know what happened but my team tells me that I was a different person when I returned. Unable to feel anything but hate. That all changed when you won, you and your bit beast gave me myself back. You saved me. There is no way how I can thank you enough. Even though I'm doomed to live this life, I'm grateful for being given the ability to feel pain back.

Don't think too bad of us. I know that we are cowards, but we want to live. If there was an other way, we would do it, but we have to try to win. We have to win...

I know that I'm in no position to ask you favours, but I will ask all the same. Will you help Kai? He gave up a lot to come back to you, much more than just Black Dranzer. Tell him that we are happy that he's out, that we have nothing against him. None of us. We just want him to be happy.

You have earned my full respect and therefore I'm sure Kai trusts you.

I know I'm rambling a bit but I'm a little confused at the moment. I think that you would be, too, if you just regained every feeling, every emotion.

I will tell you a bit about my life, maybe that will help you to understand. I was brought to the abbey at the age of four. My father had OD and my mother walked the streets. She couldn't take care of me, I know that and I have forgiven her a long time ago. Ian and Tala were brought in at the same time, Kai and Spencer had arrived about a month earlier. Kai was just three, Ian four like me and Tala, and Spencer was five. Just toddlers, we didn't understand what was happening around us. We were the youngest here so we stuck together, protecting each other and we grew up to be one. When Kai was taken away from us it was like a part of us had been ripped away. But we stayed alive, fought on. Fought to stay alive...

Don't try to help us, it's not possible. You will only get hurt. But to me it's a relief that at least one person out there knows that we are not what we seem to be. That I'm not what everybody thinks I am.

As I said before, I don't expect your forgiveness, but I felt that I owed you an explanation. In some other world we might have been friends instead of enemies, at least that's what I hope. We all hope that you will recover soon, that my insanity didn't hurt you too much. We all hope, but no one more than I. None of the pain I have experienced in my life is even close to the pain I felt when I saw you beeing carried away.

Once again I ask for your forgiveness.

Bryan

My head was spinning, this was crazy! It couldn't be true! What they did to them? All the hatred I had felt toward those four boys vanished in a heart beat.

"We shall be friends in this world, Bryan." I whispered to myself and pushed the calling button. I needed a pen and paper. I looked at the clook. 6.01. Mariah would be here in two hours. I had to be finished by then. The letter in my hand was a gift, a great secret revealed to me. Only to me, and no one else than Kai would ever know about it.

My letter became a bit longer than I thought it would, but I finished it within an hour and a half. Now I only had to find a way to get it to Bryan. I laid there, thinking about the lavender haired boy, worrying about him.

Mariah arrived at 8, sharp.

"Oh, Ray, how are you feeling? You should have let me to stay here with you..."

"I'm fine Mariah, just tired. You know the hospital didn't let you stay, and besides, it doesn't help any one if you get as tired as I am."

I love her like a sister, but sometimes she annoys me like hell. But I guess that's what siblings are for as I feel the same for Lee, Gary and Kevin. She is just more outspoken... And I fear that she loves me more than as a brother.

She kept talking about the preparations they were making for tonights match. After a while she started talking about my match against Bryan.

"I will kill him! I can't believe he did this to you! He's so evil and..."

"Mariah, I'm really tired, can we continue this later? I'd like to sleep..."

"Oh, of course Ray."

I closed my eyes and let my mind wander. I know that it was her love for me that made her say those things, and only last night I would have agreed with the evil part. But now... Now I just wanted to defend him and that would have caused too many questions.

His letter was safely tucked into my wallet and mine was in my pocket. If I got a chance I had to have it to hand.