Phoenix's note: The second special, but the first ever Christmas-based one, is here, people! As a kid, I have always wanted to write a Christmas-themed skit or story that brought the family together, but also had some thrills in it! And believe me when I say that this is NOT your standard Christmas special! Not a chance in the world! But enough introduction! On with the show!


The screen was utter black and silent until we heard the gruff voice of a man performing a vice-over. As he talked, a large, Christmas-ornament-like black sphere with a snowflake-like design all around it rumbled and appeared on-screen.


"Christmas: a time when family and friends can truly gather. A time of great pleasure and delight. A time that passes without the single thought of negativity. Sadly, it's never like that…for there will always be some who despise complete happiness…enough to desire to destroy it. Consequently, creating our greatest enemy. An enemy with the power to bring about plagues beyond human belief. Despite the everlasting knowledge that rests with heavy casualties, we were able to subdue this enemy." [The sphere stopped in front of the screen as the man continued] "But that was then…and this…is now."

The camera swiftly zoomed in on the sphere as it exploded to reveal the holiday special's title in an icy fashion:


DECK THE EDS: AN EDOLESCENCE CHRISTMAS


The screen opened up in Peach Creek Estates, where, from an aerial view, we could see the entire neighborhood covered with snow as the flakes slowly descended in front of the screen. The camera shifted to Eddy, Ed, Kevin, Nate, Cody, and Rolf, who were hiding behind a large snow fort in the frozen junkyard area. Eddy was wearing his white jacket with a green dollar sign on it, Ed was wearing earmuffs and his leather jacket, Kevin was just wearing his orange hoodie and an orange hat, Nate was wearing a black leather hoodie, Cody wore a beige jacket and a ski-hat, and Rolf was wearing a wool coat and had corncobs in his ears!

"They gotta come up to fire sooner er later!" Nate readied a snowball.

"So do we!" Ed ate a snowball!

"No worries, boys!" Eddy tossed a snowball up and down. "We got our secret weapon!"

"Better work today, though!" Kevin made a basketball-sized snowball. "Cuz yesterday and the day before, we got slaughtered thanks to crappy timin'!"

"Silence your tongues, allies!" Rolf loaded his "snow cannon", which was made from actual snow! "For if our enemies detect our presence, a humiliating defeat will mercilessly haunt us!"

"Dude, you do know this is a GAME, right?" Cody raised his left eyebrow.

"And how can he hear us with them stupid corncobs in his ears?" Eddy wondered.

"Be glad it's corncobs this time!" Kevin replied.


On the other side of the junkyard, seven kids from the second neighborhood were hiding behind a snow fort of their own!

"Heh! Heh!" the leading black kid snickered. "No way they can stay down for long! In fact, let's save 'em the trouble! Here's the-"

Before the kid could speak, he and the other kids heard and felt a rumbling sensation coming from the ground! After seven seconds, the rumbling ceased. The kids all looked at each other and shrugged confused until…

"AAAAGGGHH!" Jonny suddenly and swiftly emerged from the ground and bit the black kid on the nose! Jonny was wearing an eco-friendly white sweater with the Canadian leaf on it while Plank wore a matching one and a Santa hat.

"NIP YER NOSE, DOUCHES! HEE-HEE-HA-HA-HA!" Jonny zipped off-screen and over to his friends before the in-pain black kid stood up in plain sight!

"HE DID IT! THEIR LEADER'S UP! SLAUGHTER 'IM!" Eddy and the other boys rapidly tossed a barrage of snowballs (or in Rolf's case, "Cannon-snowballs") at the opposing team's leader; making him fall!

"THEIR LEADER'S DOWN!" Kevin shouted excited.

"OUR LEADER'S DOWN!" a Caucasian girl tended to the group's defeated leader! "WHADOWE DO NOW?"

"Only one thing to do…RETREAT!" the six other neighborhood kids picked up their leader and ran for the junkyard's exit/entrance!

"DON'T LET 'EM GET AWAY!" Nate was the first to take off after the other kids.

"ED, HEAD 'EM OFF!" Eddy created a XXX-bowling-ball-sized snowball and jumped ahead of the boys!

"WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT! WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT!" Right when the kids were about to reach the exit/entrance, they watched in horror as Ed zipped in front of them at EEnE-speed!

"NOT SO FAST, INVADERS!" Ed suddenly took out two bazooka-shaped toys called, "SNOWKILLER 5000" and pointed them at the kids! When they turned around to run in the other direction, they stopped when they saw Eddy and the other boys stomp in front of them!

"What, ya didn't hear 'im?" Eddy put his fingers into the snowball like a bowling ball.

"Any final remarks, vanquished foes?" Rolf sneered.

"Man, this is gonna be cold like a bitch!" another black kid gulped.

"I think that was it!" Cody looked at Jonny.

"Yeah, me too!" Jonny agreed. "Plank says, "LET'S FINISH 'EM"!"

"AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" The other kids ducked in fear as Eddy and the boys threw snowballs at them and the screen faded to black along with it!


The screen reopened with Eddy, Ed, Nate, and Kevin, who were walking to the X-house as they laughed about the prior events.

"Did'gu see those fools runnin' like a bunch of pussies after we pelted their asses?" Nate gloated.

"Yeah! I almost soiled my briefs!" Ed added heartily.

"You still wear briefs?" Kevin turned his attention to Ed, who nonchalantly replied, "What?"

"This year and last year proves it!" Eddy put his hands in his pocket. "We're the kings! Hell, we're so unbeatable that I bet that we can practically sense an incoming snow-HEY!"

The boys started yelling indistinctly when they started getting repeatedly shot at by rapid snowballs! They looked to their right and saw that the snowballs pelting them originated from…the Kanker sisters! The Kankers were each wearing puffy coats of fake fur, but more specifically, Lee was wearing a red one, Marie a blue one, and May a yellow one.

"Looks like you boys just got dethroned big time!" Lee taunted as her sisters cackled.

"Kankers!" Eddy snarled.

"Didn't sense that comin'!" Ed scratched the top of his head.

"How 'bout two of you come over to our place for some hot cocoa…and mistletoe action?" May smiled. "And before you say no, think about whose holdin' the hard snow!"

"Ya mean like me?" Ed took out a rocket-launcher made of snow and pointed it at the Kankers!

"Do ya really think you can scare us with that piece of fake-"

"FIRE AT WILL!" Ed jumped as he fired an ice missile at the Kankers before it exploded and sent the sisters flying as they screamed and the boys laughed! Just then, Brooke walked up to the boys with Jimmy (who was no longer wearing his retainer) and Sarah. Brooke was wearing a red sweater, a red hat, a red scarf, her regular jeans, and black boots with heels. Jimmy was wearing a light-blue coat and hat while Sarah wore a pink sweater, a pink scarf, and pink boots without heels.

" 'Ey, baby!" Nate kissed Brooke. "Like yer new heels!"

"Early Christmas present!" Brooke replied.

"How'd the ice-skatin' lessons go?" Nate asked.

"Well, decent! One of my students kept falling ass-first!" Brooke giggled embarrassed.

"Jimmy, dude!" Kevin snickered. "Sports just ain't yer-"

"Oh, it wasn't him!" Brooke folded her arms smugly as the camera shifted to a pouting Sarah!

"Sarah?" Ed barely suppressed his laughter!

"Tell mom and I'll strangle you with Christmas lights!" Sarah bitterly snapped.

"Not if ya want that fake emerald necklace you've been braggin' about." Eddy mocked.

"IT'S NOT FAKE!" Sarah lunged at Eddy with pointed ears and teeth of fury, but was subdued by Jimmy as the older kids laughed!


The camera shifted to the outside of the X-house, which was heavily decorated for the occasion! The dome-roof was vertically painted red and green, the pillars were draped in Christmas lights, and the left side of the house had a giant Christmas wreath hanging on it! On the lawn, there was a light-up ornament of Santa talking to Rudolph, a snowman, three elves, a nutcracker, a light up of Santa on his sleigh, seven lollipops, and three gingerbread men! The four boys walked up to the front door of the X-house as Eddy panted, "C'mon, boys! Our ladies are waitin' for us to kick back with 'em over some Nog!"

But just as Eddy prepared to stick his key into the door's keyhole…

"YOU!" Nazz angrily opened it first and pulled all four boys inside! In the living room, Nazz, Holly, Maggie, and Tori folded their arms in anger and annoyance as they glared at the quartet! Double D was just sitting down on the couch as he sipped some hot cocoa.

"What?" Kevin shrugged nonchalant.

"What?" Tori swung her hips. "Kevin, you and Nate were supposed to help me and Maggie put up decorations hours ago!"

"Sorry, babe! Kinda lost track of the time!" Kevin rubbed the back of his head embarrassed!

"Told-ga we shouldn't've spent that extra fifteen minutes chasin' those guys home!" Eddy shook his head from left to right smugly!

"Oh, don't even act like you're a spectator!" Nazz angrily pointed her finger in Eddy's face. "You and Ed were supposed to meet Double D at Tay-Mart to buy a Christmas tree, like, yesterday ago!"

"Even after I repeated myself several times!" Edd added. "Why can't you listen for once?"

"But you're as much to blame as they are, Double D!" Holly frowned.

"Pardon?" Edd replied disgusted.

"You're the most responsible out of all three of them." Maggie added. "You should've taken the initiative and thought ahead. You know…like I suggested you do?"

"Is your objective to reverse this mishap of capriciousness on my being?" Edd stood up disgusted with his girlfriend's accusation.

"No, it's just-"

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Eddy silenced the commotion. "I don't wanna waste this special episode's improvisation on arguin'! Especially when we gotta specific runnin' time! Ed and me are gonna go fetch a real cheap tree real fast while Nate and Kevin help ya set this place up! This'll be our first Christmas at the X-house! And the first time goin' on with the tradition we started years back! Let's try and not let the cold get up our asses, 'kay?"

"Fine!" Everyone angrily agreed.


The camera slowly transitioned to an unknown woods area, where we could see Ed and Eddy walking down the pavement path as they retained their winter attire.

"Why do you think the girls got all wife-crazy on us?" Ed frowned.

"Wife-crazy?" Eddy snickered.

"That's what my dad calls it when my mom lashes out at him or confronts him!" Ed replied. "But seriously though! Why do you think-"

"I dunno, Ed." Eddy shrugged. "I really don't like gettin' in fights with girls, so I like to ferget. Besides, let's be glad they didn't go all loving dictator on us like last month."

"Ugh, please don't bring that up!" Ed shuddered. "I can still feel those whip marks! Seriously, we're supposed to be married to those chicks before we suffer that kind of abuse from them!"

Ed and Eddy suddenly stopped in their tracks when they saw something up ahead. In the foggy winter air, they saw a large silhouette that took on the unidentified guise of a muscular man perhaps no taller than 6'3. Its eyes were gleaming red and it appeared to be focusing directly on the boys! The moment the boys took one step forward, the figure suddenly vanished when a stream of cold air blew passed the screen.

"HEY!" Eddy and Ed panted as they ran towards the figure's former standing location, but the moment they got there, the figure was long gone! "Who the—what the—I've never seen anybody…"

"Uh, Eddy…I don't think this is the right place to be investigating something that weird! And that's coming from me!" Ed gulped. "Seriously, man. If you've watched half the horror movies you liked because of how big-scaled they were, you'd know that scouting around in the winter woods is the stupidest mistake to make in a horror movie!"

Eddy breathed heavily for a few seconds before he replied, "Yeah, yer right. But we still need to-"

"EDDY, LOOK!" Ed excitedly ran over to a small pine tree. But unlike most if not all others, this tree had all its leaves/pines. But strangely, what it didn't have on it was ice and snow. "Oh, man! What a break, huh, Eddy? Eddy?"

Eddy didn't respond. He only stared at the tree as if something was suspicious about it until the camera shifted to the kitchen of the X-house minutes later. Here, Nazz was pouring Egg Nog into ten glasses as Eddy stood there; telling his girlfriend about what he think he saw. She looked at him with a sarcastic facial expression.

"When you said you were trying to, like, find a real cheap Christmas tree, wasn't that what you were going to do?" Nazz swung her hip.

"No! I told'gu! We only went through those woods because it's a shortcut to Tay-Mart!" Eddy explained, but a disbelieving Nazz rolled her eyes and nodded, "Unh-huh."

"I'm serious, babe." Eddy swore. "There is something really weird about those woods. The path me and Ed were walkin' on had no previous signs of rocks, vehicles, or animals in front. The thing we saw looked like a dude, except this dude, had glowin' red eyes that I swear on Campbell's stupid-ass were lookin' right at us!"

"Sweetie, I guess you can say that kind of thing given all the weird things that happen in Peach Creek these days, but what you're trying to tell me sounds like something I should look up in one of Ed's movie shelves!" Nazz giggled as she put the Edd Nog back in the fridge.

"Nazz, the woods me and Ed went through had only one tree with all its pines and stuff, but no snow! No snow!" Eddy explained just as Nazz picked up a glass and stopped herself from taking a sip when she continued listening to Eddy. "The woods was like the freakin' arctic and that one tree, the one everyone's decoratin' right now, didn't have a single bit of snow on it!"

Nazz looked into Eddy's eyes and saw that he was as serious as he rarely was. She felt his forehead to see if he had a fever, but he grabbed her hand, "My head's alright! But I don't think my heart or my gut is after seein' what I saw back there!"

Before Nazz could say another word…

"What's takin' so long with the Nog, guys?" Ed yelled from the other room.

"Yeah, man! I thirsty here!" Nate added.

As the couple looked at each other, the camera shifted to the now-decorated living room. Above them was a large, shiny chandelier shaped like a Christmas star. The stairs in the distance were decorated with Christmas lights and fake Christmas plants. The walls were decorated with larger Christmas lights and the large fireplace had ten stockings hanging above it. Eddy's was gold, Ed's was green, Edd's was a typical red one, Nazz's was purple, Kevin's was orange, Nate's was black, Holly's was blue, Maggie's was pink, Brooke's was light-green, and Tori's was yellow. Way in the back of the living room, we could see the tree that Ed and Eddy found that was also heavily decorated and sported a Christmas ribbon at the top.

In the middle of the living room, the teens sat and waited for Eddy and Nazz to show up. Unlike before, the living room had one more brown leather couch. Edd, Maggie, and Ed sat on one with the latter neighboring Holly, who sat on another one with Kevin and Tori, who neighbored Nate and Brooke as they sat on the last one. Just then, Eddy and Nazz walked in with the former carefully balancing the plate of Egg Nog glasses on her hand.

" 'Bout time!" Kevin rubbed his hands together. As everyone else grabbed a glass, Eddy sat in the recliner chair and Nazz next to Nate and Brooke on their couch.

"All right! Time to discuss this year's tradition!" Maggie sipped her Egg Nog.

"Uh, can someone, like maybe, tell me this…tradition er whatever?" Tori interrupted. "I mean, after all, I moved here only a little more than a month ago."

"I believe the most suitable person to elucidate the ways of our annual holiday ritual is its brilliant architect!" Edd wiped his face and motioned for Eddy to speak.

Hearing this compliment, Eddy snapped out of his deep thoughts of prior events and explained to his ex-girlfriend, "It's like this. Lot of us don't get to do what we want when we want to durin' the Christmas break. That's why, since three years back, we let a machine decide which of us gets to pick where we wanna go for the break and no matter what it is, we make it happen! And this year, it's…"

Edd took out a small machine that resembled a printer with a big red button on it. Edd pressed the button before the paper containing the person's name emerged from it!

"ED?" everyone except Ed uttered surprised!

"ALL RIGHT!" Ed stood up excited. "But for the sake of my chums, I will make it simple! I wanna go…ON AN ADVENTURE!"

"No offense, dude, but don't we already do that?" Nazz shrugged.

"Not willingly!" Ed twiddled his finger in justification.

"All right, where you wanna go?" Nate sighed.

"The old McMurdock library!" Ed replied. "At dawn! Tomorrow!"

"McMurdock library?" Holly put her hands on her hips. "What's that?"

"Whadoya think?" Eddy asked. " 'Nother place with the damn urban myth! Legend has it that the old McMurdock library, the first building ever built and finished in Peach Creek, was inhabited by…supernatural creatures! Backin' this up is the fact that some poor kid walked in there centuries later and never came back out…in one piece! And two days after that…big storm made a mud puddle so big, the whole buildin' got sunk below 'fore another one got built over it! If you can believe it…no one went in that one either!"

"But that's not even the fucking freakiest version of it!" Ed walked around the room excited. "The day it sunk…and the day it was done being built…was on…Christmas Eve!"

The kids (save for Eddy and Edd) developed bug-eyes of slight interest.

"Now, ya know why I wanna go on Christmas Eve tomorrow!" Ed stood up straight. "Weird things might happen…and I wanna be there!"

"Supernatural creatures and an incidental sinking of a precursor library that ensued on the 24th of December?" Edd stroked his chin hairs. "Why, it's almost as if the rational/irrational evidence surrounding the occurrence has related ties to the iconic figure known as…!"

"Santa Claus!" Maggie finished.

Everyone looked at one another as they consummated conversations of interest and approval.

"So, it's settled then!" Eddy walked up behind Ed and placed his hand on his shoulder. "We're all spendin' Christmas Eve lookin' for the original McMurdock library!"

"At dawn!" Ed reminded Eddy.

"At dawn!" Eddy tapped Ed's shoulder.

"All right! All right!" everyone stood up and applauded Ed's original and out-of-the-ordinary choice. As the applause continued, the screen faded to black.


The screen reopened on a snowy highway, where a bus (one that looked just like the one Jonny rode on in the Big Picture Show) had just now passed the camera. On it, everyone who agreed to come was there. Edd was wearing his burgundy parka, Nazz was wearing a purple sweater and gloves, Holly was wearing a blue one and gloves, Maggie a pink one and gloves, and Tori a white fur coat. The boys were all wearing what they had on during their snowball fight.

"Why are we taking the bus again?" Holly took out her ipod.

"I'd say because its too slippery to drive, but it's really because…"

"WE DON'T FEEL LIKE IT!" the boys laughed as the girls sighed disgusted.

"Here we are kids!" the off-screen bus-driver claimed.

All ten teens stepped off of the bus and stared at an old, decrepit building as the bus drove away. It was really surprising that the old building still stood despite its old age. The kids walked onto the old path of the building as snow blew passed the screen and the wind howled. Eddy spread his arms out to keep everyone from going any further; signifying that they have already reached their destination. The others (save for Ed), however, were confused.

"And…why're we stoppin' here when the door is still up there?" Kevin wondered.

"Because the place we're goin' is…down there!" Eddy pointed to the ground. "Ed, dig!"

"Seriously, you couldn't have used a better choice of words?" Holly folded and frowned. "He's not a dog!"

"Maybe not, but he sure as hell can dig like one!" Eddy clicked his teeth before Holly quickly went into a fit of anger and annoyance.

Just then, Ed punched the ground and ripped a giant, funnel-shaped chunk of dirt and rock out of the ground before he tossed it off-screen.

"Behold!" Ed pointed down into the hole he made before his friends gathered behind him and looked down with him. They stared down in awe as the camera slowly approached it. With a groaning sound escaping the hole, the kids saw…the original McMurdock library! But something was a bit…odd about it. It wasn't covered with dirt or mud and it looked new compared to its successor on the surface.

"Whoa! Talk about the ultimate place to skip!" Nate joked.

"So, who's first?" Eddy turned around and folded his arms.

Everyone looked at each other unsure. They recalled the last holiday special that involved them entering an abandoned area. But, since they were Ed's friends, they honored Ed's choice and sucked it up. First, Nate and Brooke landed in front of the building as they held hands. Next, Kevin and Tori repeated the process; then Ed and Holly; and Edd and Maggie. As Eddy and Nazz prepared to jumped down, Eddy's attention suddenly went forward when he saw the same red-eyed silhouette-figure standing some distance away in front of him! Eddy froze in horror and suspicion as he stared at it. Five seconds later, the snowy wind blew passed the screen and the figure disappeared!

"Eddy? Eddy? Baby!" Nazz snapped her fingers in front of Eddy's face before he snapped out of his trance! "Are you okay?"

"I saw it again!" Eddy whispered to her.

Nazz looked at Eddy worried. She knew something was wrong since this is the second time he's been so serious about something that seems highly illogical. Before she could speak, however…

"You guys comin' before Christmas tomorrow?" Ed shouted impatiently.


Moments later, all ten teens were right in front of the library's front doors before Ed kicked them open and everyone walked in. Like all libraries, it had shelves and shelves worth of books. But to them, something else didn't feel right.

"That's strange!" Edd looked around. "Do you smell that?"

"I don't smell anything." Brooke replied.

"Exactly!" Edd replied. "Even residing underground, a library as aged as this one should be exerting some form of decaying odor."

"I haven't hung out with Double D a lot, so tell me!" Tori whispered to Kevin. "Does he always overanalyze things?"

"Believe me when I say that this ain't nothin' compared to some of the other things he does!" Kevin replied. "I mean, the guy knows if whether or not he has 459 meatballs in a bowl instead of 500!"

"Wow!" Tori's eyes bugged out. "Dude needs a relaxation massage from Maggie this Christmas!"

"All right, guys! Let's break!" all ten kids split up and walked in different directions in order to discover peculiar things.


Moments later, Kevin, Maggie, Nate, and Ed were tapping on walls to see if anything would happen then. Simultaneously, Eddy, Tori, and Nazz were pulling books off of shelves in order to see if a secret passageway would open like in the movies. Brooke and Holly were looking behind the librarian's desk and in an unknown room respectively. Edd, however, was taking a less interested approach to everything when he grabbed a book off of a shelf with the intent to look at it. But when he opened it up…all pages were blank!

"What in the-?" Edd dropped the book and grabbed another one. But when he skimmed through that one too... he saw that it was also blank! He frantically skimmed through three more books, but as before, not a single one had words in it! "This is impossible! A library that excludes written works from existence?"

Just then, Edd heard a whoosh noise behind him before he saw a very large black book lying on the table! Suspicious and a tad fearful, Edd walked over to the book and opened it up to a random page. On this page, he saw an apparent army of ice monsters battling an army of red/green-cloaked elves, who appeared to be taller than what they were often portrayed as being. Edd read the words at the bottom, "The war of central pole?" He turned another page before he saw the Christmas-ornament-like sphere with a snowflake design that appeared at the beginning of the chapter pictured. He read, "The Sphere of Eis?"

The moment Edd touched the picture, he ended up getting a paper cut and it lit up green!

"What in God's name?" Edd swallowed before the screen shifted to Ed's group, who heard Edd yell, "AAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"

"DOUBLE D!" everyone ran over to where Edd was screaming and saw, much to their horror, a large amount of funnel-shaped green energy being exerted from the book!

"W-w-w-what the hell is that? And where's my boyfriend?" Maggie shivered frightened.

Eddy and Ed slowly walked towards the energy in an attempt to find a visible clue to their friend's disappearance. But before they could practically touch the energy…the same silhouette the two Eds saw earlier on zipped in front of them and knocked the two of them down!

"YOU!" Eddy crawled backwards afraid. "What the hell are you?"

Without a word, the silhouette stepped into the light provided by the energy and revealed itself as being…an ice monster! Just like in the book! More specifically, it resembled a beefed-up skeleton with snow-like fur on its shoulders, the back of its calves, and its biceps! It shaped its arm into an icy, machete-like weapon and just before it could impale Eddy…

"NO!" Ed tackled the creature into the book's energy; sucking it inside! Eddy, having snapped out of his trance of fear upon realizing it had something to do with Edd's disappearance, stood up and held the image of a strong leader by stating, "Quick, after it!"

Ed (who held his nose as if he was about to dive) and Eddy ran up to the funnel of energy and jumped in before they were transported into the book as well! Maggie, concerned for her Edd's safety, joined them without hesitation. Kevin and Nate followed before their women joined them as well. Nazz and Holly looked at each other unsure at first, but realized that they made a vow to help all friends in need when they needed it. And with that, they jumped into the energy just before it faded into nothingness and the book closed on it's own!


In a cold arctic tundra, the same funnel of green energy suddenly and swiftly descended from the sky before it violently landed on the ground and vanished; leaving only the nine teens it carried behind!

"Everybody okay?" Kevin asked.

Brooke looked up with bug-eyes, "Uh…guys?"

Everyone looked up in bug-eyed surprise and saw what appeared to be a small ruined city made of ice!

"Holy shit." Nate stood up and helped Brooke up.

"Is that real?" Kevin stood up and helped Tori up.

"Sure hope so if Double D's there!" Ed helped up Holly and Maggie.

"Same here! Let's go see!" Eddy helped Nazz up and ran towards the ruined city as he held her hand and his friends followed.


Seconds later, the camera transitioned to the inside of the city, where the teens had already begun calling out Edd's name in an attempt to find him!

"Double D!" Ed bellowed as Eddy blared, "Yo, Sockhead!"

"Double D?" Nazz yelled as Maggie's worried state increased, "Honey bun!"

"Honey bun?" Kevin and Nate mocked and laughed before Tori and Brooke slapped them in the back of their respective heads!

"GUYS!" Holly shouted from a distance. Seconds later, they found Holly tending to an unconscious Edd on the icy ground! "Careful!" Holly stuck her hand out. "Don't think this ice can take all of us!"

Maggie, not caring, jumped onto the ice to tend to Edd. Just then, they heard a bellowing noise approaching them!

"Do you…hear something?" Tori looked around for the source of the noise.

The teens all got quiet so that they could hear precisely what was going on some distance away! They slowly turned around and saw…seven elves cloaked in red and green as they rode on flying reindeers and carried swords that were in the vein of candy-cane colors!

"ELF MERCENARIES!" Ed panicked and accidentally tackled Nate and Tori onto the ice before he himself fell on top of the ice; doubling the pressure!

"ED, CAREFUL! THE ICE ISN'T THAT—AAAGGGGGHH!" But it was too late! Ed's weight and rough fall caused the ice to crack and for him, Holly, Maggie, Nate, Tori, and the still-unconscious Edd to fall through; leaving only Eddy, Kevin, Nazz, and Brooke to fend for themselves against the "Elf mercenaries"!

"SPREAD OUT!" the quartet dispersed before one of the elves could slice him! But it didn't end there! Two elves took off after Eddy, Nazz, and Kevin while only one chased after Brooke!


Meanwhile, though Ed's group fell through the ice, they did not fall in any water! Instead, they fell into some snow in a small icy chamber! The only thing that was in sight was a doorway that possibly led to another room and a 9'3-foot-tall statue of an unknown figure. The figure had the feet of a reptilian, thorn-like icicles protruding from the side of both its respective knees, three blade-like icicles protruding from both of its forearms, and the head of a man with pupil-less eyes.

"Aw, fuck! More ice!" Nate banged his head in frustration.

Just then, Edd woke up as he rubbed his head, "My, oh my! My cranium feels as if it endured abuse from a large quantity of ice!"

"Might wanna take a look around, sleepyhead!" Maggie stood up.

"Hello!" everyone turned their attention to Ed, who was looking at the unidentified statue with interest.

"Now, what the hell would you call that?" Tori looked on with Ed.

"Well, based on where we are, which I still don't know if I believe it's in a fairy tale book, I'd say it's a statue of a deity…or a king!" Maggie deduced.

"King, huh?" Nate wondered. "Of what? Ice douches like the one that attacked Eddy?"

"I'd imagine so, Nate." Edd stroked his chin hairs. "But I highly doubt that this diminutive chamber acts as the worshipping ground or throne room of the elevated leader!"

"Then, what do you think the statue is?" Maggie walked up behind him.

"Perhaps it serves as the protective symbol of an esteemed item." Edd replied. "Of course, without evidence, that theory may only prove to be far-fetched!"

"Far-fetched?" Tori folded her arms. "Double D, we just got sucked into some supernatural book in a library buried under another one and you think you need evidence for something you say is retarded?"

"Hmm…excellent point, Tori!" Edd snapped his fingers. "Ed, investigate this so-called sculpture's physical area of existence, please!"

Ed excitedly ran up to the statue as Holly complained to herself, "Why do they always have him doing the crazy stuff?"


Back on the surface, having grown tired of running, Eddy, Kevin, Nazz, and Brooke decided to fight the elves! Brooke was hiding behind a wall in an attempt to find something she could use to her defense. She looked down to the ground and saw a few large chunks of ice that originated from a fallen pillar. As the one elf that was chasing her drew closer and closer, Brooke, using what adequate strength she had, picked up a large chunk of ice and carefully timed herself…

"HUH-UNH!" she tossed the chunk of ice at the oncoming elf and knocked him off of his reindeer! "YES!"


Elsewhere, Kevin was surrounded by both of the elves that were chasing him! However, his facial expression stated that he wasn't at all worried. With their swords drawn, the elves raced towards Kevin and appeared as if they were about to impale him joust-style! Right when it looked like Kevin was done for…he performed a back-flip at the last second and made the elves crash into each other after they accidentally stuck their swords into the ground and NOT Kevin!

"Dicks!" Kevin taunted.


Not too far away, Nazz was fighting two elves as well. However, only one appeared to be armed with his sword. The two elves carefully watched Nazz so that she couldn't try anything, but obviously, they had no idea what she was truly capable of!

"HAH!" At EEnE-speed, Nazz dropped to the ground and picked up a rod-shaped piece of ice before she sprung herself back up for combat! When the elf with the sword tried to strike her, she ducked and struck him in the arm with the rod; forcing him to drop his sword! She then delivered a swift punch in the throat and a kick in the stomach before she knocked him out with a strike in the back of the neck!

She then turned around and caught the other elf's fist when he swung at her, punched him in the stomach, kicked the back of his head down, and knocked him out with a violent kick in the face!


Finally, Eddy was dealing with his two elf problems in a rather mysterious way. He appeared to be just sitting on a large chunk of ice as the two elves monitored him. Unlike their comrades, both of them appeared to be missing their swords.

"You look like a nice kid! But in this place, looks are one of the many things that're deceivin'!" one of the elves slapped Eddy in the back of the head! "Sorry!"

"Yeah! We're gonna give ya somethin' even worse than coal!" the other elf cracked his knuckles.

As that same elf prepared to strike Eddy, he swiftly stood up, punched him in the gut first and knocked him out before he karate-chopped the other elf in the neck and leg-swept him! Eddy mocked, "Only thing worse than coal is havin' it shoved up yer ass!"


Seconds later, the quartet regrouped in the middle of the area before they started conversing relieved.

"You guys all right?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah!" Nazz twirled her ice rod around like a baton. "I, like, had no idea how useful ice could be when fighting!"

"Yeah! Me neither!" Brooke laughed.

"Speakin' of ice, let's go check on Ed and the guys!" Eddy decided as his friends agreed. But before they could go anywhere, they heard another bellowing noise! Though this time, it sounded like more than before were coming! "Oh shit! Here we go again!"

As the quartet got into another battle-stance, the bellowing noise grew closer and closer! Eddy and Nazz got into martial-arts battle-stances, Kevin got into a boxing stance, and Brooke got into a stance very similar to that of her boyfriend's, who's a gifted street-fighter.


Back into the icy chamber, Edd, Maggie, Nate, Tori, and Holly watched surprisingly and a tad mortified as Ed dismantled every limb of the icy statue in an attempt to find something!

"I dunno, Double D!" Ed inspected the statue's head. "I don't see anything weird here!"

"Ed…" Edd pinched his forehead frustrated. "…when I said inspect the statue's area of existence, I meant search the one place that the previous inhabitants could have possibly veiled something! Such as…BELOW THE STATUE!"

"Ohhhh!" Ed slapped his forehead and punched a hole into the icy/snowy ground.


Back on the surface, Eddy's group was staring down three times as many elves as before. But for some reason, no one attacked anyone yet.

"Why do ya think they haven't attacked us yet?" Kevin whispered.

"My guess…for strategy's sake!" Eddy suggested.

"Or for the sake of realizing what the hubbub is all about!" A man's voice sounded. His voice was precisely the same as the man who did the voice-over at the beginning of the special!

"Who said that?" Brooke looked from left to right; not letting her guard down.

Just then, the elves slowly moved to the left and right sides respectively so that the man could walk towards the quartet. Realizing that he came in peace, they lowered their defenses. The man was tall, 6'3, and was cloaked in red and white rather than red and green like the elves.

"I apologize for the assault, children!" the man stated in a cheerful voice. "Apparently, my elves literally make it so that no one who stands on these grounds survives!"

"Uh, it's cool and all, sir! But if you don't mind, we…kinda have a peeve about bein' call kids!" Eddy shrugged before Kevin elbowed him.

"Like, who are you?" Nazz asked curious.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! I'm quite sure you've heard of me regardless of your belief…Nasina!" the man chuckled.

"Uh…how do you know my name?" Nazz asked a tad worried.

"Wait a freakin' second!" Eddy deduced. "He says that we've heard of him even if we don't believe in him and he says, "Ho! Ho! Ho!"? Then, that means…yer…"

"No way!" Kevin and Nazz developed bug-eyes in unison.

"Oh, yes way!" the man suddenly grabbed his cloak and threw it to the side to reveal himself as being an elderly-seeming, but physically fit man with a long white beard and a red hat! Realizing who he was, the teens jaws dropped, "SANTA CLAUS?" and the screen faded to black!


Did you know: "Tay-mart" is a parody of "Wal-mart" in name, but serves as a parody for something else like it. The first three letters of Wal-Mart's founder, Sam Walton's surname was used as the first half of the title. For "Tay-Mart", I used the first three letters of my friend, Roger Taylor's surname.


Phoenix's note: To make this Christmas special, well…special, I recounted on various Christmas-based television shows I watched as a kid and tried to find a way to locate the recurring theme in all of them and avoid doing the same thing for originality's sake. Also, I tried to steer clear of the supernatural because of some of my realistic ingredients in the series, but then I thought about my season one episode, "Don't push your Ed" and used that as a source of motivation. Also, I'm very well aware that Santa Claus is obese, but only if you continue will you know why I made that change! So, what're you waiting for? Keep watchin'!