"Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred, how did it find us? Did it steal into our lives, or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to us? That we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war... Hoping for their safe return... But knowing that some will be lost along the way. When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows, swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name? Is it your name?"

-Mark Schwan


Sirius Black drew his breath in a hiss, releasing the choke on his motorbike. He needn't have been concentrating so hard on finding his best friend's house in the dark- one couldn't have missed it. The previously nice, white, black shuttered Victorian was now missing a huge section. Smoke was billowing from the fires that burned along the edges of the charred walls. The white picket fence that James and Sirius had laughed so hard at was still closed and locked, almost untouched. He remembered the day Lily had insisted that fence be put up.

"But it won't do anything!" James insisted. "It's only 3 meters high!"

"A particularly gifted squirrel could make it over." Sirius pointed out. "Of course, why it would want to jump over when it could just slip through the pickets-"

"Sirius." Lily glared. "That is not the point. Why would I want to guard against squirrels?"

"The point is," James jumped in. "This is stupid. Why spend back-breaking hours building a fence that won't protect us or serve any useful function anyway?"

"Because it looks nice." Lily answered, raising her chin a little higher. James thought that stubbornness was adorable, Sirius found it annoying.

That was the point that they had looked at each other and broken into peals of laughter.

As it turned out, she hadn't been joking. They had built the fence that very afternoon. Lily always got what she wanted when James was involved. Sirius shook his head, remembering how pathetic James had been in school.

"Evans, don't go into the 3rd floor west corridor before 2'o'clock." James Potter plunked his bag down across from the redhead and began eating.

"Prongs," Sirius, being the loyal best friend, sat beside him with a sigh. "Why do we even bother doing these things if you just tell everyone?"

"I'm not telling everyone." James rolled his eyes. "I'm telling Evans."

"Well, you shouldn't bother." Lily rolled her green eyes at him. "That's right before Charms. Which, may I remind you, is in the 3rd floor west corridor."

"I know that, Evans. I'm in your class."

"Well, I won't miss it, we have OWLs soon."

"Lily-kins," Sirius broke in. "We have three months."

"And have you studied at all?" she looked pointedly at him.

"Nope," he smiled proudly. "I don't study. Prongs here doesn't either."

"I know. It makes me sick." She shook her head. "I don't get how you two can blow everything off and still be competing with me for top of the class."

"We're not, really. Remus is." Sirius said, clapping the sandy-haired boy who had just sat down on the shoulder. "He actually studies. Quite a lot, actually. I don't know how he still has a social life."

"You force me, Sirius. And I'm just naturally that charming." Remus didn't even bother looking up. "Hello, Lily."

"Hey, Remus," she smiled. The smile went away when she looked at James. "Potter. Forget the stupid prank you're planning. I won't miss Charms."

"Don't miss, just be a little late. It's not as if Flitwick will care." James shrugged.

This elicited another eye roll.

"Don't your eyes start to hurt after a while?" Sirius asked curiously.

"Shove off, Black. I don't think you lot are even plotting anything today. This is just another way you've found to bother me."

"Believe it or not, we don't spend a lot of time trying to find ways to bother you. It's honestly not that hard." Sirius replied with an eye roll of his own. "Especially Jamesie here."

"Of course I bother her, Padfoot." James grinned arrogantly. "I'm sexy. She can't help being attracted, and that infuriates her."

"Potter!" Lily's eyes would probably have poked a hole through his head if it weren't so thick. "I'm NOT attracted to you!"

"Don't fight it, love. It makes it grow. Go out with me?"

"NO." And, looking particularly incensed, she grabbed her bag and stalked out of the great hall.

"Well," Remus said, finally looking up from his book at James. "You did try."

Sirius knew his best friend. He saw James shrug off the hurt like he always did after one of Lily's verbal bashings. "Cheer up, mate. We've got more to organize before two."

"Yeah," James said enthusiastically after a second. "Let's go."

2 Hours Later

"Brilliant success!" Sirius yelled. James, Remus, and Peter were all on the ground with laughter beside him. It was 2:01, and everyone on the 3rd floor west corridor was the victim of the Marauders' new invention, the Chipmunk Charm. Their voices were all raised at least 2 octaves. It sounded vaguely like a helium convention as the students ran around, trying to talk as low as they could. Professor Flitwick was trying to help, but the poor man's already-squeaky voice had risen to a pitch quite above the human hearing range.

"POTTER!"

The cry sent the four boys into new spasms of laughter. Lily Evans was standing before them, as infuriated as Sirius had ever seen her. Her normal intimidation was somewhat depleted, however, by the high, squeaky tone of her voice. "POTTER!"

"Y-yes?" he was trying to calm himself down, tears of mirth running down his cheeks.

"What the bloody hell is this?!" Infuriated Chipmunk on Helium yelled.

"Well, Evans, I did warn you." James pointed out. "You chose not to listen to me. That was your first mistake."

"Hey!" Frank Longbottom squeaked. "You told me to come early to Charms!"

"Ah, yes, well…that was yours." James shrugged before turning his attention back to Lily. "So, do I get an apology?"

Another death glare.

"Alrighty then," he shrugged. "It will wear off by dinner."

"No!" she squeaked, eliciting another snicker from Sirius. "I mean- alright, I should have listened to you, Potter."

James looked incredibly smug. "And yes you will go out with me?"

Sirius actually thought that she was going to hit his best friend for a second. "NO."

"Alright, fine." James sighed. "Was worth a try. Here ya go…"

With a wave of a wand and a muttered counter-curse, he looked at the redhead expectantly. "James, I'm getting- oh." She blinked as her voice came out normally, with not even a trace of hoarseness. "Well. Um, thank you."

And Sirius caught that Look again. He was never sure if anyone else saw it, that softening of her glare for a second, the smile that wanted to peek through. He saw every time she Looked at him. He doubted anyone else could tell- it was always for a split second only before she hid it behind her glare and furrowed eyebrows again.

"You're welcome," his friend, clueless of the Look. He had his own besotted look on.

The front door was ajar slightly. The magical barriers were broken. Taking his first few steps inside the house, Sirius could only look around in awe. Lamps were shattered. Furniture was up heaved. His heart dropped another few feet to his stomach when he saw their wedding plate, usually hanging just above the fireplace, smashed on the floor. The gold-rimmed ceramic plate held the Potter crest in the center, above the date: June 2, 1980.

It wasn't supposed to be a big ceremony- times were dangerous, and a gathering too large would attract unwanted attention. The Order members were all there, of course, and what was left of the Potter family. Petunia Evans had chosen not to be there, sending her and Vernon's invitations back unopened. It had hurt Lily deeply, but none of that showed today, the supposed happiest day of her life.

People kept showing up though. Sirius wasn't sure how they'd even heard about it, but all loved the young couple, and wanted to wish them well. Lily could never turn anyone away, so more chairs were set up (Sirius, of course, was in charge of the levitating, being best man and all). James was extremely nervous. Sirius wasn't sure why, because this was the day he'd looked forward to since the first week of first year. He'd spent 7 years of hard work trying to get Lily Evans; there was no way she would change her mind in a half-hour.

"Padfoot!" James stood before the altar, waiting for the march to start. "Do you have the ring?"

"No." Sirius said shortly, rolling his eyes. He knew it was probably mean to use sarcasm at a time like this, but James had already questioned him five times. "I forgot it at home."

"WHAT? SIRIUS, YOU- oh," James snarled at Remus's smirk. "Not funny."

"Hilarious." Remus chimed in. "Relax, James. Only a few seconds."

Remus was right as always; not thirty seconds later the organist started Lily's walk down the aisle. Dumbledore was in his best robes, blue eyes twinkling behind his half-moon glasses. He was performing the ceremony, to everyone's agreement.

They were halfway through the ceremony when the blasts began. The hall door seemed to explode, and with the smoke appeared black-hooded figures wielding wands.

"Death-eaters!" Moody shouted, leaping up as the feared attackers began shooting spells, sending the wedding guests screaming. Order members and a few other witches and wizards began to fight back. Remus and Sirius immediately joined, but James held Lily back from following.

"Marry us!" he shouted at Dumbledore, his eyes never leaving Lily's green ones.

"What? James, there's-" she shouted over the increasing din. Her brow was furrowed, her heartbreak was showing in her eyes. Here was her perfect wedding day, years in coming, and Voldemort had ruined it.

"I know!" he yelled back. "But I've waited too long to let it end like this."

Dumbledore, who had been standing there calmly despite the circumstances, looked from one young face to another. "Lily?"

"He's right," she cried. "Now or never!"

With a satisfied smile, Dumbledore cleared his throat. "James, do you promise to love her and protect her for the rest of your life, especially in these next few minutes?"

"Hell yes."

"Lily, do you promise to-"

"YES!" she ducked a spell that had been thrown their way. Sirius immediately sent one back at Bellatrix Lestrange.

"James, for the love of Merlin, hurry!" he bellowed.

"Kiss her then, James!" Dumbledore cried, and drew his own wand.

It was a short kiss, but a passionate one. "Lily, escape, please!" James implored her, before an explosion threw them apart. Lily had never listened to James, though. By the time the smoke was clearing and a victory declared by the Order, her white dress was torn and dirty, hair completely undone.

"James!" she looked around frantically for her new husband. "JAMES?"

Sirius would never forget the look on her face when she saw him kneeling next to Prongs' limp form, dirty and bloody.

"Oh, God, no…please, Potter, please…if you're dead, I'll kill you!" she dropped to her knees and took his head on her lap. "James…"

Remus ran up then, breathing heavily. "Is he…?" Sirius shook his head, still watching the scene in front of them. Lily had a tear running down her cheek.

"Hey, Evans…go out with me?" His best friend's voice was weak, but it was there.

"Oh…" Lily buried her face in her hands, letting out a huge sigh of relief. "You didn't leave me."

"Nah," James replied drowsily. "We'll always be together."

Sirius stepped over the wreckage, his heart sinking lower with each step. The kitchen was virtually untouched; there were still dirty dishes in the sink. "James?" He hated the way his voice quavered in the silence. "Lily?"

"Lily?" James was hoarse from yelling by now. "Lils?"

"EVANS!" Sirius bellowed. "Maggie! Where are you, love?"

Lily and Sirius's fiancé had gone on an Order mission to the Forbidden Forest, but it seemed to have gone horribly wrong. They hadn't checked in, and no one could reach them. Sirius's heart was sick with fear. Night had already fallen through the thick trees, and the air had turned cold.

"They can't be too from here," he said through chattering teeth. "Then again, you know girls, would probably get lost in Hogwarts still."

"So would you, if not for that damned map!"

The voice came from his immediate left.

"Don't come any closer, Black. Perform a Revealing Charm."

"Lily, are you alright?" James appeared at Sirius's side as if he'd apparated there, voice frantic with worry.

"Is Maggie there with you?" Sirius couldn't exactly remember the Revealing Charm.

"Of course I'm alright, you oaf! I'm talking, aren't I? Yes, Sirius, Maggie's here- say something so he'll believe me."

"Love you, Sirius." The deadpanned voice was the sweetest thing Sirius had ever heard. "More so if you get us out. Do the Revealing Charm."

They boys exchanged a look. "I don't know" mouthed James. Sirius rolled his eyes and groaned.

"Is there a problem?" Lily asked. It was clear from their voices that they were tired and uncomfortable.

"Um. No." James replied quickly. "How did you come to end up…there?"

"An invisible hole in the middle of the Forbidden Forest? Apparently a Death Eater trap."

"So," Sirius was smirking. "You're sent to find one of the most dangerous Death Eaters alive, and he finds you and traps you instead?"

"No, he's in here too. A bit unconscious, really." Lily sounded bored. "Get us out of here!"

"One second, love," James called back, making his voice as soothing as possible. "A few complications to work through."

"Complications?"

"Well…" Sirius began.

"You don't remember the charm, do you?" Maggie asked flatly. "I know you, Sirius."

There was complete silence for a minute. "Alright, hang on." Lily said gruffly after a few moments. "Try: Revioso."

Taking deep breaths, James and Sirius shouted it together. Instantly, a hold opened up in the ground. Peering in, Sirius saw the dirty, wan faces of two tired girls. "Hello there." He received glowers in response, but neither refused the offers of help climbing out of the 8 foot-or-so deep pit.

"What took you so long?" Maggie whispered, cuddling closer to his chest. He enjoyed the feel of her in his arms for a moment, watching over her shoulder the other pair. For a moment he thought Lily was going to slap James, like in the old days, but her face softened at his relieved expression.

"Happy to see me?" she grinned tiredly.

"Yes," he said simply, reaching to grab her face with his hands. His thumbs were tracing her features, as if reacquainting themselves. "You scared me."

"I'm ever so sorry," she murmured. "Would I willingly throw myself into a dark, stinky pit with no escape route?"

"No," he refused to smile. "But you could die and leave me. At the very least take me with you."

"What if you're the one dying?"

He thought about that for a moment. "Nope. You should live."

"Hypocrite."

"Fine, if I die, you can die. Happy?"

"You guys, that's just strange." Sirius had to break in at that point. "And very morbid, really. Giving each other permission to die."

"Hey!" Maggie whacked him lightly. "They have a point. No dying without me."

"Fine, no dying without me either. We're bloody bonkers."

They had all laughed then, at the conversations that the Forbidden Forest could prompt. But Maggie had broken her word not a month later, falling victim to an ambush. She'd had the honor of being killed by Voldemort himself.

Sirius didn't like to remember that so much. He slowly started to walk up the stairs. He could tell right away that this was where the battle had thickened. A few stairs were no longer there, most had marks where errant spells had hit.

The sight at the top made his blood run cold.

"JAMES!"

His friend, lying on his back on the landing, didn't reply. It looked almost as if he were sleeping with his eyes open. The glasses, which he was as blind as a bat without, were gone, crushed to powder on the floor.

"James…oh, God, no…Wake up, you bastard! Where's Lily? She'll be devastated if you don't…Shit…" He was hyperventilating, and he knew it. "I'm so-sorry…Oh, so sorry…If I had come soo-sooner…"

His friend's wide, staring eyes, no longer twinkling with mischief, had fallen looking towards the bedrooms. Sirius, still too stunned to grieve, followed the dead Marauder's gaze. He didn't need to think about which bedroom it was- the door was blasted off of the nursery, and the frame was still smoking.

With leaden feet, Sirius steeled himself for the sight, but still felt like he'd been sucker-punched when he saw it: the body of Lily Potter, crumpled and broken on the floor. He grabbed the doorframe to steady himself, not remembering that it was still burning. He snatched his hand away out of reflex only; his mind was still too stunned to comprehend the pain.

"Lily…No…Not you too, oh God, not you too…" He didn't need to reach down and turn her over to realize that she'd been killed by the same Avada Kedavra curse as her husband. Her red hair spilled like fire over her face; it shouldn't do that, she never liked having her hair in her face…he pulled it back for her. Her green eyes weren't open, which was a relief for Sirius. He didn't think he could see the fire gone from her eyes too. Her face was a mask of peace.

Something triggered his nauseous stomach. He scrambled up, ready to run away from this God-awful place when he heard a sound, finally. A small cry, from the cradle, which was covered with wreckage. The small cry grew larger and surer of itself. Sirius started to breath again. Could it be?

Not daring to hope, he cautiously crept over, and removed the pieces of plaster and dust. Harry Potter scowled irritatingly at him. He was tired, and hungry, and he wanted someone to do something about it now. Sirius picked the squalling infant up, wrapping him in blankets, careful to shield his tiny eyes from the bodies of his parents. He had to get out of this house now. It was closing in, too small for him to breathe.

"Sirius," Lily looked nervous as she came up to talk to him. "Can I talk to you?"

She looked nervous. Lily Potter was never nervous. Especially when it came to Sirius. This fact alone stopped any jokes he would have made. "Sure, Lily-kins, what can I do for you?"

"Has James ever mentioned…children…to you?" Lily blurted. She kept wringing her hands in her lap. Despite her anxiety though, Sirius detected a happy sparkle in her eyes.

"Um…"

"As in, if he wants them or not?" she clarified.

"Well," Sirius leaned back in his chair, putting his arms behind his head. "Probably. I mean, only if they're with you though. He's never pleased when a random woman shows up on his doorstep claiming that she's pregnant with his illegitimate heir."

"Does this happen often?" She looked alarmed now, eyes widening with surprise.

"No." Sirius laughed. "Lily, in all seriousness, he would probably be over the moon if you tell him you're pregnant."

The motion of her hands stopped. "How'd you know?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not completely stupid."

"Good to know."

"What is?" James chose this moment to make an entrance.

"Well," Lily shot another glance at Sirius for reassurance. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh, that's good n- WHAT?" He stopped walking and let the papers slide out of his hands.

"Wow, Lils, let's give him a little warning." Sirius said good-naturedly, laughing at James's dumbstruck face.

She shot him a glare before turning a cautious smile on James. "So, sweetie…a reaction please?"

"That's…that's…GREAT!" A huge smile broke out over his best friend's features. "I can't believe it- Lily, that's amazing!"

"Really? You think so?" Lily returned a glowing smile of her own, running over to huge him.

"Yes, I do!" he proved his point by picking her up and twirling her around until she yelled at him to stop.

A curious Ministry worker walking by stopped to peer in. "Quiet," said Sirius matter-of-factly, shutting the door firmly in the surprised wizard's face. "They're having a moment."

13 months later, the overjoyed parents to be were dead, and Sirius held their beloved child in his arms. It was only when baby Harry scrunched up his face did he realize that it wasn't raining, he was crying. He was crying so hard that he was worried about dropping the baby.

"Sirius? That you?"

"Hagrid." Sirius said hollowly. "What are you doing here?"

"Dumbledore sent me. Wha' happened?"

"J-James…Lily…they're dead."

Hagrid blinked at him. "Dead?"

"You know," Sirius said. "No longer living. Can't laugh with you anymore, yell at you, play pranks, drink with you, cry with you…Dead."

Hagrid was silent for a moment. He seemed to understand that Sirius's anger wasn't directed at him. He chose instead to comment on the bundle in the young man's hands. "Tha' Harry?"

Sirius nodded, head still bowed.

"How…?"

"I don't know. Perhaps Voldemort never knew he was there."

"Dumbledore said-"

Sirius's head snapped up. "Dumbledore knows?"

"Dumbledore sent me. He wants me ter bring Harry to 'im."

Sirius took a sharp breath. "I'm his godfather. It's me that should take care of the child now."

The big man looked rather helpless. "I know, Sirius, and James would 'ave wanted that, but-"

"No." Sirius said suddenly. "It's alright." For now. "I have…some things to take care of right now."

He would hunt down the murderer of his best friends. Voldemort would finally pay for Maggie's death, for Alice and Frank Longbottom, for Lily and James. Sirius didn't know what he would do once he found him, but it would involve pain and suffering. Just as Sirius was suffering.

"Nothing stupid?" Hagrid looked suspicious now.

"Just what James would do if he were here." Sirius answered absently. He was planning now. He would start by finding that wheedling slip of a rat, Peter Pettigrew.

"Be careful, Sirius." Hagrid remembered all-too-well the Marauders' schemes.

Hagrid knew the words were wasted breath before he even opened his mouth. The young man bent down to the baby in his arms, catching his breath at the boy's resemblance to his parents. "Hey there, Harry. Listen, I have to go away for a while. I'll find the monster that killed your daddy and mummy, and I'll make him pay. I swear I will." His eyes were dry now. The thought of revenge made his heart a little lighter somehow. "But don't worry. I'll come back for you. I'll raise you like your parents always wanted to."

Harry cooed and gurgled a bit, shrieking happily when Sirius's lips touched his small forehead. "I love you."

Hagrid took the boy without comment on Sirius's oath. "Where are you goin' then?"

Sirius looked at him for a moment, with his head cocked. Hagrid saw how dangerous the youth could be at that moment. It was as if a part of him that was always softened by James had been let loose. "I won't need that," Sirius nodded at the motorbike. "Take it to get Harry to safety."

The mouth of the burly man dropped open. Sirius had gotten that as a graduation present from the Potters. He loved that bike. "But-"

"Hagrid." Sirius's voice was like steel now, completely devoid of the grieving tremor. "Take it. The night is dangerous, and it'll only get you and Harry to safety faster. Don't worry about me."

"Alright." Hagrid turned slowly, placing Harry safely in the basket, making sure everything was secure. When he turned around to look at Sirius, the man was still there. "Sirius. I'm sorry for Lily and James."

Sirius shook his head at something. Hagrid thought that he was smirking at some memory or something for a split second. "At least they died together."

Without another word, he transformed. When Hagrid shot one last parting look, all he saw was a black mutt disappearing down the street and into the night.


Anybody else ever wonder more about that night, and how horrible it must have been for those who loved Lily and James to arrive on scene? Now you know. My version, at least. I know that one-shots don't usually get many reviews, but i'm really asking for reviews for this one. The good, the bad, the sad, the disappointing, I'll take anything at this point. Please?

-HaLoAnGeL-