I've known Johanna Mason for all of two minutes, and I already hate her. Between her attempt at girl talk and her stripping completely naked in front of me, and not to mention Peeta, I find myself pondering how easy it would be to target her in the arena. I mean, what was she thinking? The girl talk could have been an attempt to bond, to get on my good side so we could team up later on in the arena, but the stripping? Even though mine and Peeta's engagement is purely for the Capitol's sake, being naked in front of my fiancé is not okay! I'm the first to admit I'm not good at making friends, the only real girl friend I've ever had is Madge, but I know that Johanna's actions are not the way girls who want to be friends with each other operate.
And what is Peeta doing, chatting with her the entire elevator ride! When she leaves, I ignore him, but I just know he's grinning. I toss aside his hand as the doors close behind Chaff and Seeder, leaving us alone, and he breaks out laughing.
"What?" I say, turning on him as we step out on our floor.
"It's you, Katniss. Can't you see?" he says.
"What's me?" I say.
"Why they're all acting like this. Finnick with his sugar cubes and Chaff kissing you and that whole thing with Johanna stripping down." He tries to take on a more serious tone, unsuccessfully. "They're playing with you because you're so…you know."
"No, I don't know," I say. And I really have no idea what he's talking about.
"It's like when you wouldn't look at me naked in the arena even though I was half dead. You're so…pure," he says finally.
"I am not!" I say. "I've been practically ripping your clothes off every time there's been a camera for the last year!"
"Yeah, but…I mean, for the Capitol, you're pure," he says, clearly trying to mollify me. "For me, you're perfect. They're just teasing you."
Through my anger, I feel my stomach flutter like it was full of butterflies when he says I'm perfect. That's been happening a lot lately, anytime he says something like that so nonchalantly. Irrationally, it makes me angrier.
"No, they're laughing at me, and so are you!" I say. Better to come off as betrayed than jealous. I think back to earlier when Finnick was so close to my face with his, and I hope Peeta felt at least a fraction of how I feel. Sure, Finnick was only mostly naked, while Johanna bore all to everyone in the elevator. I'm sure he did. Besides, he's the one who's honestly in love here, not me….
"No." Peeta shakes his head, but he's still suppressing a smile.
Soon, we are joined by Effie and Haymitch, and I am momentarily forced to forget my anger with Peeta because of the presence of Darius, the Peacekeeper from 12 who disappeared after trying to save Gale. He has reappeared as an Avox, strategically placed on my floor to unnerve me, I'm sure.
I pay no attention to Peeta at dinner, mostly because I'm too preoccupied with my guilt over Darius. Also, because if I think too hard about what Peeta said, about me being too pure, my anger threatens to bubble back to the surface, mixed with some other feelings I can't quite place, and I'm sure I wouldn't be able to control my actions if they did.
After dinner, we all go in to watch the recap of the opening ceremonies. I wedge myself in between Cinna and Haymitch on the couch because I don't want to be next to Peeta. This awfulness with Darius belongs to me and Gale and maybe even Haymitch, but not Peeta. He might've known Darius to nod hello, but Peeta wasn't Hob the way the rest of us were. Besides, I'm still angry with him for laughing at me along with the other victors, and the last thing I want is his sympathy and comfort. At least that's what I tell myself as I huffily watch the recaps. I can see him shooting me worried glances every few seconds from the other side of the couch, but I pointedly ignore them.
As soon as it's over, I stand up and thank Cinna and Portia for their amazing work and head off to bed. Effie calls a reminder to meet early for breakfast to work out our training strategy.
In my room, Peeta's words are still echoing in my head.
"You're so…pure."
What does that even mean? I've killed people, for crying out loud, that is as far from pure as you can get! Yes, sexually, I've never done anything but kiss, but I'm only 17, and to be honest, that's the farthest thing from my mind right now. There are more important things to worry about, like keeping Peeta alive.
Soon after I go to bed, there's a quiet knock on my door, but I ignore it. I don't want Peeta tonight, and I can't understand why he would think that I do. He's not stupid, he knows I'm angry. And I especially don't want him with Darius around. It's almost as bad as if Gale were here. Gale. How am I supposed to let him go with Darius haunting the hallways?
Tongues figure prominently in my nightmare. First I watch frozen and helpless while gloved hands carry out the bloody dissection in Darius's mouth. Then I'm at a party where everyone wears masks and someone with a flicking, wet tongue, who I suppose is Finnick, stalks me, but when he catches me and pulls off his mask, it's President Snow, and his puffy lips are dripping in bloody saliva. Finally I'm back in the arena, my own tongue as dry as sandpaper, while I try to reach a pool of water that recedes every time I'm about to touch it.
When I wake, I stumble to the bathroom and gulp water from the faucet until I can hold no more. I strip off my sweaty clothes and fall back into bed, naked.
There's another knock at the door. It's more frantic than the one from earlier in the night, and I can hear Peeta whispering loudly, "Katniss! Katniss, are you okay?"
He must still wander the halls at night, like he did on the train during our Victory Tour. There's no doubt he would have heard me screaming, and has probably been rapping on the door for at least five minutes. I sigh, my stomach twisting with, what is that, excitement? I resolve to let him into my bed, remember how his warmth and steadiness feels when I'm wrapped in his arms. I'm reaching for clothes when I remember why I shut him out earlier. Not just because of Darius or Gale, but because I'm too pure. That's when I have the idea. Peeta won't know what hit him, then we'll see who he's calling pure!
I run to the door, take a second to catch my breath a try to seem as nonchalant as Johanna was, then I do it. I open the door, stark naked, and look innocently at Peeta.
A/N: Please review!
