This WAS an unfinished humor/parody story. Now it's all complete to my total X-citement. :-P The link to the rest (it also includes this part) is: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1445476

Man, did she do it justice! Thank you CaptainTish! :)

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"And so I said to her, the next time I take out my M80, I'm gonna to mean it!" Jan laughed hysterically, I just smiled.

"Look, don't be come another mail carrier statistic, just quit and take a yoga class or something." I was sick of calming her down. It really isn't that hard to work in a post office, I don't know why everyone ends up freeking out.

"Hey, we're closed!" I heard Jan yell to whoever was outside. I looked out the glass doors and a man in a wheel chair was trying to open the door.

"I just need to mail this one thing!" He yelled.

"Damn it! Every freeking time!" Jan sighed as she went around to open the door.

"Thank you miss, my X-computer and X-fax are down and I need to get this to Canada by tomorrow!"

"Yah, yah... Let me see the letter. Wepon X Project? I need a full address, sir."

"Sshhh! It's a secret!" He said with shifty eyes.

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Meanwhile, back at the X-ranch...

"Keep this up, X-computer, and you'll loose something else!" Wolveriene grumbled as he pounded on the X-keyboard. "Hey! Either someone call an X-pecialist, or I am going to stab this computer where it counts!"

"Listen, either you calm down or you thrash the X-quipment." Storm replied from accross the room.

"Nah, Chuck's right, it's either us or the machienes."

"Atleast I've chosen a side..."

"The side of not thrashing the machienes? Look, Bub, with the three lines you are going to get in this story, the least you could do is have them make sense." With a huff, Storm left the room.

"Everyone! The Professor is missing!" Jean ran in yelling.

"Well, use the damn X-braniac machiene thingy and find him!" Wolveriene growled.

"But -- I'm -- too -- weak!" Jean said throwing herself around the room.

"Jesus, fine. We'll have to go look for him the normal way." Wolveriene said.

"But, maybe... if I concentrate real hard..." Jean whined.

"Your brain will implode, sweetie. Let's just go." Scott said throwing a look at Wolveriene.

"I want the front! I get car sick!" Storm ran in whining as they all started to pile into the X-UV (get it, instead of SUV).

"It's my turn though!" Rogue yelled from the X-ray machiene.

"Look, I could zap you into the next zip code if you mess with me. Do you know what happens when a dumb-ass get's hit by light--"

"I know, I know. Damn, stop with that stupid line. It makes you sound retarded and the punchline is not all it's built up to be. You can have the front, I don't even care if we find baldy any more, I am missing my daily 'Make googley eyes at the 120 year old Logan' routine."

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"Well, how am I supposed to send the damn thing if no one knows where it is?" Jan was close to punching the poor gimp.

"Ok, I can tell you if you let me erase your memory after."

"You want to do what in the what now? Look, Wheelie McWheels, we aren't even supposed to open the doors when we are closed. This is a government office sir, and I can have you--" She stopped mid sentance and had a strange far away look on her face.

"I will have to do that to you if you give me a problem. Now, will you mail this out for me?"

I was still waving my hand infront of Jan's face. "You won't get a problem from me, but your problem is with the postal service. We just can't mail stuff out with out an address."