Stronger Than You
By: Kerianne (mpike@froggernet.com)
Pairings: You'll see
Rating: PG-13 for implied adult content
Content: Shounen-ai/yaoi hints, implied sex
Spoilers: None
Love?
Love is a power struggle. Two people, and one's always got to have the upper hand. For some it's easy; it's clear from the start who is in charge, who has control.
For some, it's not so easy.
But I'm stronger than you. I know I am. I won't break, and I won't let this take me over.
It's unimportant. You are unimportant.
It's easy for me to forget about you, really. Until something makes me think of you. Some scent, some flash of color, the sound of a voice, a memory....
It weakens my defenses, I'll admit it. But I won't break.
You've been trying to break me since the moment we met. The power struggle has always been a game to you. And the ever-present smirk on your face tells me you expect to win.
You won't win, because I'm stronger than you. And I won't stop until I've proven it.
You... You are a paradox. You stepped in, picked up my neat, calm, orderly little world and shook it and stepped back out. I'm still trying to figure out where everything goes.
But I will. Eventually I will pick up the pieces and you will know what it feels like to lose the game.
I can still hear your voice, echoing in my head as I walked out the door. ~Where will you go, Bradley? What will you do? There's no life for you outside these walls.~
I slammed the door, and I pushed you out of my head. I didn't intend to return.
But I did. I let you win the battle, because as weak as it is, I needed you. I needed you there to complicate me, to confuse me, to be the ever-changing unknown to my constant.
Because as much as I hate myself when I'm with you.... I hate myself more when I'm without you.
But all that will change, because I can still be triumphant. You won the battle, but it's not too late for me to win the war.
I am stronger than you, and I will win.
* * * * *
The struggle is over.
It wasn't enough for me to win the arguments.... no, I needed more. I needed to hold the ultimate power over you, to prove once and for all that I am in control, that I have the upper hand.
I needed to have you, so I could forget you.
And now, lying here beside you, watching you sleep... remembering your eyes, your face, the way you cried out in pleasure... the warmth within you....
I realize that I got what I wanted.
I proved it. I proved that I am stronger than you.
But something must have gone wrong, because I don't feel strong. And I'm not forgetting you.
You stir slightly in your sleep, and my heart stirs with you. No. I haven't forgotten.
So this is where it ends. The game, the war, the power struggle.
I am stronger than you.....
...... but you won.
the end
