Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, its original characters or dialogue. After the train wreck of Season 5, I don't know anyone in their right mind who would claim otherwise.
Author's Note: This is dedicated to my beta and literary labour coach, scarlett2u. If you've somehow stumbled upon this story, close out of it immediately and go and read her fics. You'll laugh, cry, blush, sigh, squeal and swoon. Promise. She's an inspiration and a wonderful friend.
For those guests that read my first piece, Through the Looking Glass, thank you for your kind response and interest in seeing it continue. I have left it open-ended for now and may come back to it at a later date. In the meantime, I hope you'll enjoy my latest offering.
Chuck. Blair. Chuck and Blair. It was practically Pavlovian at this point. Let's review, shall we?
Three years ago, Blair slid across 12 inches of black leather and pressed her lips to his. Chuck's world spun off its axis. He reached for her and there she was (in his lap and then just, well, everywhere).
Two years ago Bart Bass died. Chuck's world spun off its axis. He reached for her and there she was.
Tonight, he learned his father was not only a soulless reptile but a murderer as well. Chuck's world spun off its axis.
So the only thing left to do was reach for Blair.
And there she...wasn't. At least, she wasn't answering her phone.
The limo was still making its way from the Upper West Side to the Waldorf penthouse and the continual frenzied motion of Chuck's bouncing knee wasn't speeding their passage or making it any more enjoyable. But like the pressure building behind his eyes, it showed no sign of abating. The cavernous confines of the limo was a sacred place for him - a place where he reminisced, reflected and regrouped. Alone. Serena's perfume and presence was making this impossible but she was also his scheme-free ticket to Blair's residence and, with Blair's phone going straight to voicemail, he had the sinking feeling he was going to need it.
He sighed as he lowered the phone from his ear for the eighth time since they'd left the Empire. "She's not answering her phone. You?"
"No. And I've tried texting her. Nothing."
His brow furrowed as he surveyed the traffic around them. "Is something going on with her?"
"No," she began tentatively. "I mean, since she was fired from W - "
"What?! Why?"
It was Serena's turn to sigh now. "Everything was going well, I think. Epperly even appointed Blair as her replacement. But..." she trailed off, suddenly taking an interest in her manicure.
"Serena."
"She'll kill me!"
"I'll kill you. I know a guy." And he fixed her with his steeliest glare.
It wasn't the chilling possibility that Chuck might, in fact, 'know a guy' that saw Serena's resolve crumbling. It was the genuine concern for Blair that was written all over his face. They were idiots, the pair of them! She would roll her eyes if she weren't already dizzy from watching them dance around each other for the past four(teen) years. So, instead, she worried her lip with her teeth one final time before releasing it along with the truth.
"When she found out your feelings for Raina were...real...Chuck, she was...she didn't take it well. It didn't help that Raina is already the powerful woman Blair's trying to become. And you know Blair..she went into overdrive...she wasn't sleeping, barely eating. I think she was trying to..she just wanted..." Serena trailed off, gesturing helplessly. Who knew what Blair wanted?
"To find her way back to me," he breathed, his head falling back against the black leather.
Oh. Chuck did.
Serena nodded but Chuck's eyes were already closed, his hands fisted on the tops of his thighs. He may as well have hung a 'Do Not Disturb' sign around his neck. Serena had never really understood Chuck and she was fairly certain she wasn't alone in that respect. His defenses were impenetrable and that was when all was right with his world so she knew any further attempts at prying were futile. It was moments like these when she was forced to acknowledge the strange and unique bond between her best friend and her brother. They were a matched pair.
If only they could get out of their own way.
Blair. Chuck. Blair and Chuck. It was practically Pavlovian at this point. Let's review, shall we?
Blair kissed Nate (again). It felt all wrong. She longed for Chuck.
Blair kissed Marcus. It felt all wrong. She longed for Chuck.
Blair kissed Nate (third time's a charm?) Nope, still wrong. She longed for Chuck.
Blair kissed Dan (or, rather, he kissed her). It felt so wrong. And now she...
Longed for Chuck.
It had been 42 minutes since Dan had left without a word. 42 minutes since she had stood in her foyer with her hand pressed to her stomach, waiting for it.
But it never came.
Nope, nothing. Not one single, solitary flap or flutter. Not a butterfly to be found anywhere. But plenty of bugs, apparently - her skin had felt as though it was practically crawling with them. So she'd sighed and made her way up the staircase, her head and heart feeling heavier with each footfall.
And therein lay the problem. Head and heart. Mere inches separated the two and yet the distance between them seemed unfathomable at times.
Her stupid, traitorous heart! She had managed to function perfectly well without it for over sixteen years. Like all her minions, her heart had been loyal to a fault, willing to go along with each and every one of the grand plans she'd devised for her life. It twisted in her chest when Serena fled without a word, cried out when her father left for France. They were mere whimpers, though, compared to what lay ahead. She should have known better, should have sensed the impending mutiny. Because, like all her minions, ignored and overlooked for too long, her heart had found its own voice and staged an almighty uprising. And Blair had never seen it coming.
With the sort of predatory stealth only he was capable of, Chuck had crept beneath her defenses and reached out to claim her heart for his own. She'd felt his fingers closing around it before Cotillion and when she'd unearthed his scheme on the dance floor, she had wrenched it free, relieved to have escaped relatively unscathed. Like her skin, though, Chuck's elegant fingers had left their indelible impression on her heart and it began to whine in protest, beating thunderously in her chest and demanding to be heard.
She had tried everything to silence it. Nate. Marcus. Nate again. To no avail. And just when she'd resigned herself to the dull ache in her chest, there he was again - leaning against his limo, fingers clutching gifts from far off lands, his own heart tumbling from his mouth. Her heart had soared in response, taken flight and welcomed him with open arms. Relief. She felt relief.
All the gossip and the lies and the hurt hadn't been for something, it had been for everything. Because theirs was a great love. It was complicated, intense, all-consuming. And no matter what they did or how much they fought it would always pull them in. Until it pulled them under.
Because Chuck and Blair held hands. And Chuck and Blair...made movies. And Chuck and Blair loved each other. But Chuck and Blair also loved to play. Full of mischief, they hand-selected their prey, then baited the trap before celebrating their victory tangled together on leather seats and between the sheets. But as summer faded and the leaves changed, so too did the nature of their games. The rules were undefined, the stakes too high, and the players unwilling. Until the final game where they risked it all and both lost everything. The King exiled and the Queen abdicated.
But that dull ache Blair had once felt was nothing compared to the gaping wound that was left when she had tried to forcibly remove him from her heart. Storming the shops, consuming the classics, sampling sugary snacks like Marie Antoinette...even a date with a real-life prince had done nothing to stanch the flow of blood. She told Serena there was a Chuck-sized cloud over her head, but it was the Chuck-sized hole in her heart that left her whole body hurting.
Her stupid, traitorous heart! It had found its voice three years ago and now it refused to shut up. Doomed games with evil uncles and resurrected mothers, charades with aliases and sweet distractions, declarations of war then peace, hateful music played atop a piano...throughout it all her battle-scarred, voyage-worn heart beat the same steady rhythm, sung the only tune and words it had ever known: I love Chuck Bass. Always have. Always will.
But her heart wasn't the only one with a song to sing. Blair had, of course, done the polite thing and pretended not to hear those three one-syllable words that, under the circumstances, he may or may not have meant. But he had meant them. With all his heart. Because people may bark and scream out for God and their mothers during sex, but Chuck Bass was no 'blurter'. Dressed in red, two devils stood on the cusp of redemption - hope had blossomed before them, the promise of a new beginning finally within their grasp. But Chuck's words when the curtain fell were heartbreakingly prophetic. Because, minutes later, they had indeed gone up in flames.
Anne Archibald was the first to stoke the fire.
Then KC poured gasoline on the blaze.
And their words had echoed in Blair's ears until the song in her heart was reduced to the faint murmur of butterfly wings. Her head had dutifully taken charge, reminding her of all she stood to lose if she followed her heart once more. She would not be a weak, sniveling stand-by-your-man who never runs a foundation or anything else. So she'd put on her big-girl boots, stomped over her heart (and his) and walked away...
To become a powerful woman.
To fall flat on her face.
To kiss Dan Humphrey?
She had walked away, certain that she had to be Blair Waldorf before she could be Chuck Bass' girlfriend.
And now she was...neither.
Because each step away from Chuck seemed to correspond with another step away from herself.
Her internship at W had been an unmitigated disaster. She had thrown herself into the task with her patented vigor and ruthlessness. But she had been all aim and no focus, all strut and no substance. Her race to climb the ladder of success had left her dazed and disoriented. So disoriented that she had kissed Humphrey.
She had obviously taken a wrong turn somewhere and she was beginning to suspect it had been when she'd walked away from Chuck. She was supposed to find herself but she was more lost than ever. In fact, she had never felt less like herself than she did without him.
Perhaps Chuck had been right. Perhaps they could build their futures together. Hadn't Chuck matured past games and fatwas? Aren't powerful women supposed to have it all? And if Chuck was destined to be her prince, why kiss any more toads?
These were all excellent questions, she thought to herself as she finished applying La Mer cream to her delicate eye area. She simply needed time to thoroughly process recent events and decide on the proper course of action. A few days of uninterrupted rest and rumination. And with that she reached into her drawer and fished out her brass bell.
She was taking to her bed, starting now.
She slipped between the cool sheets and was reaching to turn off her lamp when -
"Blair! It's me...please, I need to talk to you," he urged, knocking softly on the door.
Oh, no.
"Blair? Please...it's important."
No, no, no, no, no.
Speak of the devil, and he doth appear
AN: Coming up next...I'll attempt to dig inside Chuck's devilish mind, a quick chat between Blair and Serena, and a little flashback. I hope you'll join me for that, but, more importantly, I hope you'll share your thoughts on Chapter 1.
And again, special thanks to scarlett2u - she pushed me down the stairs but was there to catch me. Also, Shrk22 for your encouragement and kind words.
