Hey guys, I'm back, I'll talk more after the story for now, enjoy a new one I thought up of. And yes, Powers of the Darkest will be continues soon! Hope you enjoy 3
(p.s don't forget to review and criticize it!)
Chloe~
If I were to pick a color for myself, I would be gray.
A color where no one knows if it can be classified as a color or, if it is an actually a shade . It doesn't fit in with anything at all.
An Outsider, lonely.
Where its color is combined of two, and can't just stand alone and classify it by itself, but has to depend on others for its own shade, for its own support.
The color gray.
I thought about this as my dad picked me up from the Lyle Clinic, where I am labeled crazy. Maybe everyone didn't see me this way, and had a glimmer of hope for my future. But I had classified myself as broken. For I was.
The bags under my eyes, the eyes I had no memory of what color they were, the recognition so far pushed back in my mind, it could take hours to go digging through just to find a useless fact about myself. My eyes could be brown, they could be gray, silver, yellow. And it's truly sad that I don't know.
But what I do know is that I can feel the bags under them, weighing me down with each step I took, taking my breath away from the slightest bit of normalcy I tried to reach within my grasp, but all too soon, it was torn out of them, sinking into the never ending darkness of insanity and loneliness I felt.
But alas, here I was pushing the memories of Lyle Clinic, out of my mind, far, far away where i would never see them again, as the clinic's image sunk out of view from the rear view mirror.
Though I would never admit it, I felt kind of bare without the memories. The Clinic was labeled to feel like a home, it was what I used to. I was used to being numb, I didn't feel. I didn't deserve to. I was dangerous without knowing my own capabilities. I should be locked up, I'm crazy. I'm crazy.
No. Was crazy.
The medicine they gave me, wouldn't make me crazy anymore. I was fixed.
But a little money thrown at the house, and their mouths were closes. While I was out in the open.
That's were I fit in with gray, I was thrown around between the colors of black and white, which was replaced with money and Lyle House, they determined which shade I was, whether I was light or dark, whether I was a shade or a color, it wasn't up to me, it was up to them.
The color gray.
**line**
After hours of driving in silence, we arrived to a familiar looking road as the sky darkened to a shade of midnight blue.
The outside was colder than I expected as it nipped onto my neck and seeped into my thin cotton sweater. I could feel myself getting lost into the coldness, for it matched my mind and heart. It matched my mood, of being cold, weak-hearted. Empty.
Everyone complained about the cold, how heartless it was, how they couldn't do anything in this weather.
That's how I felt.
The ride home was silent between my dad and me, not that I was expecting anything, how do you make conservation with a daughter you haven't seen in over a year? Where do you begin? Where do you end?
Especially when she's schizophrenic.
We pulled up to big house, I didn't recognize it exactly, but a fog of a memory could recollect seeing this house somewhere. I wondered if he moved until I saw a familiar blonde haired Doctor waiting on the front step with an impatient look on her face with how dark it was getting.
"Aunt Lauren." I whispered so only I could hear. A small form shaped on my lips, it wasn't a smile, I haven't smiled in over a year, I don't know what it feels like to genuinely smile anymore. It was more of a tilt on my lips of recognizing the only person who came to visit me throughout my whole stay at the Lyle Clinic.
We pulled up to her house, and she waited until we were out the car to let us inside of her humongous estate, where we first entered the door, it led to an opened space, in front of us was the stairs to the upper floors, while to the right was the living room, and the left the kitchen.
Next to me, my dad looked at his watch.
"Chloe... I know I just saw you, but I have to run, you'll be staying with Aunt Lauren, and I promise to see you next weekend. Bye honey." He kissed me on the cheek and left.
The first time he talked, was to say goodbye. Without an "I love you."
Even though I knew if he said that, he would be lying, but even a lie would be more comforting than the cold hard truth adding onto my stone heart, waiting to be warmed by the fire of the fireplace, begging to be coupled with a warm fuzzy socks and good book.
"Your dad, Chloe, he's trying. It hasn't been easy since Jenn died."
I knew that, I really did, I was trying, too. But sometimes our best efforts can't reach our expectations, and I guess we are just going to have to live with that.
"I know." I whispered. Not used to using my voice."I know."
"You've got a big day ahead of you tomorrow. You'll be going to Buffalo High School starting Monday, and we have got to get you set up." She tried to smile at me, her fake smiles was better than my awkward lift, but it wasn't sincere. "Why don't you shower. I'll put your stuff away."
I nodded and simply went to the bathroom,
I didn't look at my appearance. I never do, I don't know what I look like, If i could imagine myself. I would see cold, eyes, with bags weighing them down. Sunken cheeks that haven't been fed the proper meal, chapped lips, waiting to drink on life and energy to fill in void in a cold, numb heart. A chest that was flat, and body that skinny and blended in with everything else.
I stepped into the shower and let it run down my body. I put it onto full temperature, and watch my pale skin turn red with anger that is bottled inside me. I scrub at it with a rag, making it redder and scratchier, and hues entertaining me while steam clogged up the entire room making it hard to breathe.
Could you die like this?
I turned it down not wanting to find the answer and finish washing up and wash my hair, which was now much longer than my usual length I kept it at.
My mind slipped from the wall I kept, and a memory slipped of a "helper" from the clinic trying to convince me to cut my hair shorter, that it was hard for them to deal with, and I was glad. Glad that they hated my hair, glad that my long hair made them angry. I hoped it made them angrier than how I felt.
That's how I knew mentally, I was crazy, and deserved to be here, I was a horrible person, that's why my dad hated me, that's why my mom was gone, that's why I was locked up in this terrible excuse of a helping facility, and that's why I was labeled schizophrenic. All my fault. All my fault.
I didn't realize I was crying until I felt cold water hit my now red arm.
I got out the shower and felt the cold, thick air shock me, the steam covered the mirror, and I brushed my now wavy hair, until it was completely straight. It hit the middle of my back, and covered me like a blanket for me to hide in, which I was glad for. My aunt had slipped some clothes into the bathroom for me to change in. And as soon I was in my comfy pajamas, I walked up the stairs into the door that was open, inviting me into the comfy bed that awaited my arrival.
And get this,
The blanket was gray.
**line**
I woke up, and the day was a blur.
I was just setting up my room and getting everything ready for starting high school tomorrow. She brought things to decorate my new room from my life before going to the Clinic.
I decorated it as much as my color tolerance cold handle and after that, we went shopping for things, I remembered I used to love to go shopping with Aunt Lauren and seeing all the different colors of clothing. Now everything blended together, and everything was black and white to me, even though i knew there was color out there, I guess I am too ignorant to go and explore and try to gain back the experience of loving different pieces of vibrant looks, and that isn't anyone's fault but my own.
I wanted to get caught up with all my shows I've missed throughout time and new books to indulge myself into. When we went to target, I saw a bookstore across the street and immediately tugged my aunts arm in that direction.
I don't really like using my voice, it was scratchy and uneven from not being tested out correctly for a long time, words tasted thick on my tongue and I stuttered a lot. My mouth not used to talking a lot, and asking for things I want to do, since I was always bossed and used to a certain schedule. It was better off to keep my mouth closed after seeing the many different colors on people on which gave me headaches, and especially after seeing some of the things Aunt Lauren wanted to put me in.
She wanted to go shop at a high end store, but I insisted on here, just wanting some plain colored clothes.
Even if i didn't admit it out loud, I was scared for tomorrow, I figured out that if I wear plain clothes, I'll blend in with the background, and won't be noticed, which was easy with my boring looks, I don't stand out.
I don't stand out. I don't stand out.
After Target, we hit the book and clothes stores, and we went to a grocery store.
I immediately recognized this store and my aunt let me wander around to get what I want and I somehow found myself in the wandering up and down the candy aisle, my mouth still not able to shake off the sweet tooth I was harboring. I was scoping around the sour patch area when I heard loud voices jostling around a few feet ahead of me, and I immediately froze up, my ears not used to such loud noises and have become more sensitive.
"Simon, put the gummy worms back."
"NO! You can't make me do such thing!" The apparent "Simon" yelled.
The smooth, dark voice sighed and I could tell that he was getting impatient. The voice called to me and without me knowing, I peaked around the chip stand that was in my eyes to see who the voice belonged to.
The person holding the bag of gummy worms side view was facing me, his hair was spiky and blonde, which was odd because I could tell it wasn't dyed, but mostly because he had nice Asian features that made even his side view take any girls breath away. I recognized that I had the same bag of gummy worms in my hand, and new that if Aunt Lauren tried to make me put them back, I would have a fit, too.
The other guy that was sighing, was absolutely, stunning.
His hair was in a messy bed head style that was natural and did not look like it took over half and hour to get it right. From a mile away, you could see how exotically green his eyes were, that called to you teasingly, making your mind wander to places its never been.
Both their builds were strong, but the one with black hair had more muscle on his body.
"Come on Derek, pleeassee? Do it for your baby bro Si-dog." The blonde batted his eyelashes.
"Tori is not going to be happy, Simon, just put it down." The black haired boy named "Derek" said impatiently.
My mind wondered who Tori was, making up stories about the two boys right in front of me.
Maybe the blonde was in a secret protecting program, and they had to pretend to be brothers? Maybe the gummy worms had secret poisoning in them that only Derek could smell,and his hidden power let him know that? Maybe they were both secretly spies and waiting for someone here in the grocery story, with Tori in the getaway car.
The ideas seem endless.
Making up stories in my head helped time pass by in the clinic, albeit it didn't really do much, but it helped raise my passion for writing. Scripts for movies, making up characters in your head and developing them on paper, it could take you to a world you never thought you could imagine, and it was all in your head where ideas could pour out like a tipped glass of full water.
Simon gave up the fight and went to put the gummy worms back, and then as if sensing someone staring at him, Derek turned my way.
I had to swallow a scream as his pure, emerald eyes stared into my dull ones.
His face was so symmetrical, so smooth, an artist would kill to draw a beautiful mystery like him.
Maybe if I was happier, I would strike up a conversation. Maybe if I was prettier, I would try to get his number, Maybe if I was smarter, I would have left before he even got to notice me. Maybe if I wasn't mentally numb and disoriented, I wouldn't have run away from the piercing green eyes of the overly attractive Derek.
But alas, I was numb and disoriented. So I ran.
**line**
When we got back from shopping, we ate quietly and drove around the city a bit more, Aunt Lauren explaining the sights and different areas of the place. While I quietly drifted into and from the conversation, getting myself lost in the blurred lights of city and the contrast of the night compared to the bright yellow lights.
This soothed me, and I knew driving around the city at night would soon become one of my new favorite things. All the people around me created new stories in my mind and and new atmospheres for me to replay in my head to replace to old ones, of white putrid walls.
The change of scenery was nice, very nice.
But even as I lay down in bed preparing myself for the next day ahead, the red lights from the town turned into the green eyes from the boy.
**line**
I know its a boring first chapter, but this is just kind of like a prologue I guess? No, more like an introduction. Yeah.
This is actually a pretty short chapter to me by my standards, but I want to know if you guys like it first before I go all out, because I'm trying a new style or writing instead of my usual comedic one. Y'know?
So, Uhh, heyyyyy.
I know, its been months, and the little tidbit of "I'll update every Friday was a stone cold LIE.
But I am back.
New Year, new me.
I got a new laptop, and I still have files to transfer from my old computer to this one, so this is basically a little taste of what's to come very very soon!
Okay, so I am still going to upload Powers of The Darkest, and I wrote out most of the chapters and I just have to type them and BOOM!
Let me know if you like this story and if I should upload a new chapter, or if I should just throw it away.
-excuse some of the spelling mistakes, but I wanted to get this story out!-
Thanks guys, don't forget to review and critique!
