A.N. Seriously, I don't know if anyone wants to read this. Because, who the hell in their right mind puts the most beloved and legendary character in the galaxy, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, in the same story with the galaxy's most detested character, Jar Jar Binks? So, if you're reading this, I can only say THANK YOU and please give this story a chance. I am writing for fun, so I really hope you'll get as much fun as I have when writing this. ^^

This is a Star Wars parody/humor fanfiction story set between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens.

This story follows Disney canon only. So, mind you, there'll be no Star Wars EU characters like Mara Jade, Anakin Solo, Ben Skywalker, etc. And since I don't play video games, I only use the characters from the movies (obviously) and the TV series.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN STAR WARS. COPYRIGHTS BELONG TO DISNEY AND LUCASFILM.


A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

Episode 6.5

THE BINKS AWAKENS

Everything had changed. The Empire, the Sith, the Death Star, all had been destroyed. There was no more chaos, no more war, only peace. Luke Skywalker had started his own Jedi academy in Bespin. He had recruited some force-sensitive children from across the galaxy to be trained as Jedi. Among students was his own nephew, Ben Solo, who although could be irritating with his somewhat emo life style, was apparently quite adept in the Force. Luke's students had been all but difficult. His life was perfect, everything was in place. Except one.

From inside the X-Wing interior, Luke Skywalker led his ship to Naboo, his mother's home planet.

Mind you, he wasn't trying to dig his family's history from his mother's side. Because, why should he do that? His mother was once the queen of Naboo, his sister was the princess of Alderaan. And him? He was a freaking moisture farmer!

It had been long acknowledged by everyone that the Skywalkers women and men must have opposing paths of life. The Skywalkers women must live as either princess or queen, while the Skywalkers men must live in deserted planet of Tatooine while leading a pretty miserably boring life and lost a hand. It was a tradition that needed no further explanation for Lucas' shake.

But, it wasn't what's bothering Luke. He had made a deal with himself since long time ago about that.

Last night, he summoned Obi-Wan's Force ghost. But boy, he had made a wrong decision. Poor Obi-Wan couldn't stop babbling about how unfair the Force was to him. How could Anakin get a younger version Force-ghost of himself and he didn't?

Luke had heard about this for the past few decades and he wished he could get out of this unimportant matter. He had more important things to do and to think about, like playing with his toy T-16 Skyhopper and reminiscing the delicious taste of blue milk, like the good old time in Tatooine.

Later that night though, between Obi-Wan's complaints about Anakin's young Force-ghost and how the Solo shouldn't name their emo son after him, the old man slipped something in his speech, a name he should not mention.

Obi-Wan mentioned a name Luke name never heard of, a character from the incredibly well-thought and well-made prequels, because obviously the films had not been made when Luke's films were made.

He was a simple being, Obi-Wan said. Some mistook him as clumsy.

But, the wise Obi-Wan didn't agree with those who said so. And you should believe Obi-Wan, because he always told the truth. Including the time when he said Darth Vader killed Luke's father and when he said he never owned a droid. Obi-Wan never told lies.

Jar Jar Binks was a legend and a war hero.

No one ever mentioned that name to Luke. Not even Yoda, Obi-Wan, or his father. He thought the droids probably knew him, but why would they mention the name? Artoo spoke in a language no one could understand. Threepio had lost memory of his long time ago.

If they didn't even bother to tell him that Darth Vader was his father, why would they told him about this? And if they didn't even comment even a single thing witnessing an incestuous kiss between Luke and Leia, why brought the gungan's name into conversation?

Now, if only Leia could do her hair in less than three hours this morning, Luke probably would have asked his sister to come with him. But, it was Leia. Leia Organa Skywalker Solo, the rebel legend who never messed her hair even when in battle.

Leia's hair had become a symbol and an icon for the rebels. The hair in buns much like a headphone in her ears. The hair in braid like she wore when she was in Endor. Or her hair in single braid like she wore as Jabba's slave. Every hairstyle she did had always brought a new trend to the galaxy. For decades, she had become a celeb. A hair product model.

But to do such hair must require a great amount of time. In Leia's defense, she was still not as stylish as their mother, who, according to the galaxy's legend, changed her hair style and her dress every time she walked into a door.

But, even a Jedi Master like Luke Skywalker had lost his patience to wait for a former princess like her doing her hair. So, he left alone. This mission was too important to him.

He needed to meet the galaxy's true legend, Jar Jar Binks.

You might as well ask, but why? Luke wanted to know, he wanted to figure out more. Who was this gungan? Why did his name suddenly become so legendary and important to him?

Legend said he-who-should-not-be-named was once expelled from his village because he was clumsy. Like seriously, you get banished by your own people because you're clumsy? Now Luke felt much grateful because his uncle and aunt didn't disown him for being whiny.

Luke pulled over his ship to Naboo forest. As he opened to door, he remembered Threepio at home.

The golden droid would probably be more excited than him to be in the mission, but much to his disappointment, he forgot to tell him about this.

After the protocol droid found out that Anakin Skywalker was his maker, the Oscar-look-alike droid became too excited to the point he became more unbearably talkative than he already was. He ran around telling everyone that he was part of the Skywalkers. But, as expected, no one cared about it.

A few years past and the droid lost his arm, only to be replaced with a new one.

A more normal protocol droid would be sad over the fact he no longer had his original arm. But it didn't happen to him. Instead, C-3PO became overly proud and declared that due to the lost arm he felt like a true Skywalker now.

At least, the droid didn't become a Skywalker fanboy like Luke's nephew. He sighed thinking about him. Only the Force knew what was wrong with Ben Solo.

Ben had been overly obsessed with Darth Vader so bad, to the point he had been awarded by the Republic as Vader's number one most annoying fanboy. He might as well start a cult if he could. But no one would follow him.

Luke had convinced Han and Leia that their son was only going through a phase in his life. An emo phase. His obsession toward Darth Vader wouldn't last long. It was just like Luke's own obsession to power converters back in his teenage years in Tatooine, but minus the emo.

Everything would be normal again, Luke convinced them. Unless he wasn't normal.

It was almost noon when Luke left his X-Wing in a clearing in the woods and started walking around with Artoo.

"There has got to be a lake around here," he said to Artoo. "This is the place where Qui-Gonn and Obi-Wan met him many years ago, he-who-should-not-be-named."

"Beep bop," said Artoo.

"This place is very not normal, don't you think so, Artoo?" Luke asked. "I sense something. But I can't explain what it is. It's very weird."

"Beep bop beep boop!"

"You've met him once, right? You know him. He was the galaxy's legend, a gungan who brought Sheev Palpatine into power. He was the key to everything, Lucas said. Whatever that means. He was so great, like a myth. He knew my father before he turned to the dark side. That's why I really want to meet him, Artoo. Well, he's indeed a myth to me."

"Beep bop beep blop blop?"

"I really hope he is still alive. But where is he? I don't know where to start looking for him."

Of course Luke didn't understand even a beep what Artoo said. He just talked to himself. Artoo was only there to justify him.

Without warning, as if the universe understood his question, Luke suddenly sensed something in the Force. And he believed that the Force was always right in guiding him. Just dismiss the time when the Force didn't even bother to warn him when he made out with his sister. It was as if the Force blessed them.

Something so strong was calling Luke in the woods. He turned around, confused, almost stumbled down to poor Artoo, but soon regained his balance once he figured out where it came from. He saw a vision of a cave somewhere in the forest. And that, he thought, might be the answer to his question.

"There's a cave around here, Artoo. We've got to go there. There must be something in there."

Luke walked himself around, sensing through the Force about the existence of the cave.

Artoo was behind him, beeping something he couldn't understand. Well, when did the last time he actually understand Artoo? He could only look at the poor droid, trying not to wonder what he just said. Not even the Force could help him understand. But he guessed to himself, "You, stupid, Luke, why do you bring me here?" Luke shook his head, ignoring his thoughts and walked himself to the cave.

The cave was dark and damp. Artoo was beeping even more loudly from outside, probably swearing, Luke believed. But the Jedi Master kept his pace down the cave, deeper and deeper.

Luke finally arrived in a dead end. There was a big trunk covered in spider webs at end of the cave. As he walked closer, he realized what it was.

It reminded him to that time in Jabba's place when Han was frozen in carbonite. But, it wasn't Han that he remembered. He remembered Leia in her gold bikini! It was almost distracting for him seeing a girl that hot sitting in front of him when he talked to Jabba. He even touched her when they swung from Jabba's ship. Eww, that was gross!

Mind you, he was only exposed to only three women in three movies. And the hottest one turned out to be his sister. That was pretty traumatic when he found out.

Luke peered at the creature trapped in the carbonite in front of him. What was that? He couldn't describe what he saw.

He never met a species like this. A head like a rabbit with a mouth like a platypus. It was hard to believe that this creature was once a galactic Senator. Seriously, what were people thinking when they gave him the position?

Luke wanted to press the button to unfreeze the creature. But he didn't want to go anywhere near him. The Force knew what this gungan might be hiding for decades. That he was secretly a Sith lord? Really possible.

There were many rocks around him that he could use to throw at the carbonite to press the unfreeze button. Wait, he could also use the Force.

So why did you mean that he had to throw a rock to slide down that door in rancor's cage at Jabba's place? Obi-Wan always used the Force to open and close a door. Or did he? On the other hand, he might not actually using the Force and that was really a futuristic gesture-based door. Luke didn't understand.

He couldn't describe the strong urge in him to unfreeze that creature. He could sense that it was Jar Jar Binks, the gungan he was looking for.

Artoo was still outside, his beeping low but still heard. Luke walked slowly yet surely to the carbonite and pressed the unfreeze button.

The carbonite melted gradually, revealing the shape of the horrific creature inside it. Jar Jar Binks was slowly back into consciousness.

Hesitant with what he had just done, Luke made a few steps back as he watched the gungan awaken from his long sleep. When the carbonite finally melted away completely, the strange creature opened his eyes.

"Meesa back!"