Akito is dying and wonders what he will do with his remaining days.

This is written from Akito's point of view.

No parings.

@-,--'--,--'----

The wind sang as the roses flew by

This world does have beauty

This beauty I see in lonesomeness for I am alone

Prologue: Petals of Roses

I thought of the sun, the fresh air, and those beautiful creatures that I adored, the birds. I wanted to go there, it wasn't very far away yet I couldn't, I was stuck here. I tried to grab something, but I found nothing.

"You shouldn't move so much you are not feeling well," Hatori scolded.

I didn't answer him, I found his comment futile, I was aware of this myself; it was as if he had nothing to say and that was the truth.

"I came back with the results..." Hatori said calmly yet I found something different in his voice, could it be fear or relief? Even I wasn't sure. This made me mad, I should know everything!

"Yes?" I said bored. I lifted my hands and studied them, so beautiful and so pale they were, so fragile but yet strong. This was a routine I did often when I had nothing to do, when I was in such a weak state I could not move around much.

"I'm afraid..." he whispered and said nothing after that. What are you afraid of? That I am dying? You're lying to yourself little doctor. You will be so happy... Do you not have the courage to tell me? Even I can feel it, my heart is beating so slowly, I find my breathings more forced then usual.

My hands started shaking, I tried to stop it, I became furious with myself, I had no control over this!

I forced my legs to rise, I needed to stand, I could not lie here anymore.

"What are you doing?" Hatori asked stupidly.

"Help me," I simply said.

He hesitated but did what I asked. "Take me outside."

It pained me, even walking was torture. I held Hatori's strong arms and couldn't help feeling jealous, he had all this strength and I had nothing!

I pushed him away angrily while we were standing outside. He looked shocked at me but I ignored this and got seated on the porch. I lay down, this was much better.

"I got the results," Hatori said. There was no need to tell me what the answer of the results was, I knew the answer and I easily spotted the nervous gestures Hatori wouldn't do normally.

It was a perfect day, not to warm but not cold, it was just... perfect. "I'm sorry to say this," he paused, "you are dying." A bird landed on my stretched out hand. How marvelous this creature, such deep dark eyes. I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Are you listening to me?" Hatori asked. I slapped his hand away annoyed.

"I've heard everything you said to me." Such pale color this bird had, it was completely white, almost like me. Those eyes, such dark eyes, they were my eyes! I hated this bird! I clenched my fist and thrust it in the air, the frightened bird flew away. Stupid bird! I looked at it crazed, I to wanted to fly away. I wanted to be free from all burdens, I hated everything! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!

I breathed heavily and felt a strong abomination for my relatives, they thought I enjoyed this, they knew nothing! I especially hated her, Tohru, that fatuous girl.

I saw Hatori eyeing me sadly.

"What?!" I yelled.

"Don't you want to know how long you have to live?"

This question surprised me, I hadn't thought about it.

I laughed and saw Hatori getting a pained look on his face. How utterly foolish I had been, why hadn't this crossed my mind? The day my sight would be taken, my thoughts, my movements, the little light I had now. The eternal sleep... Why did I suddenly feel fear?

The wind started to blow and petals of flowers fell on us. I took one between my fingers; I would no longer see or feel this flower. I had accomplished nothing in my life, even my idiotic relatives sneaked behind my back. "How long?" I finally asked. This was my life – this pain was my life. My life had circled around pain and nothing else. I should be happy it would end soon for I had nothing to live for; no one had made this life something worthy or something meaningful. I was alone.

"One week," Hatori said.

One week? That was an eternity to me but still it seemed so short.

"What are you thinking?" Hatori asked carefully.

"How happy you all will be." I closed my eyes, the wind felt nice. With fear I opened them again and breathed rapidly. My heart was beating so slowly, I felt buried alive when I closed my eyes.

"You are wrong," Hatori said not noticing my fear for he seemed lost in his own thoughts. "We will not be happy..."

I laughed at this. "You are lying to a dying man." I rose and went inside; the pain had subsided for awhile. I looked at a vase filled with roses and took it. It was cold, my hands trembled a bit. I threw it and it landed just behind Hatori. He jumped stunned and frightened.

"What are you doing?!" he said alarmed. Malice filled my mind, they would never feel what I felt, well they should!

"Shut up! Don't lie to me! I know what you all think!  Get out! I'll give you my permission when I want your company which probably won't happen since I'll be dead soon. Leave now!"

"No, perhaps you'll need me..." he whispered.

"For what?" I laughed tiredly. "I'm dying you fool there is nothing that can be done."

He looked at me one last time before leaving.

I sunk tiredly to the floor and took a rose that had fallen down from the broken vase. The thorns stung me and my hand started to bleed, I took no notice of the pain since I was used to it but the blood I saw clearly. I watched as it dripped down on the floor with empty eyes. Red, so red, just like the rose. Red petals surrounded the whole floor; I lay down with the rose still in my hand surrounded by the bloody roses.

@-,--'--,--'----

Hours had passed, I was so tired but I didn't want to close my eyes. Only one week left... I blinked exhausted.

What was there to do before I left this earth?

What had I accomplished in my life?

Perhaps absolutely nothing? If so I will die with pain, but it didn't matter, even if I had done something with great importance I would still die with pain.