Disclaimer: I own nothing, other than the recipes! What they're Delia Smith's? Ok I own nothing.

Ok, in my world, Rose and the Doctor got married, and had two darling children, Tim aged 13 and Hestia aged 10.

Fatherhood

Part One

"Hessy! What the hell are you doing? It's three o'clock in the bleedin' morning, on a sunday!" Tim yelled at his sister, Hestia.

"Yeah... and, what day is it today?"

"Uh, Sunday 17th June?"

"Yeah, which is?"

"A day I can lie in bed,"

"No Father's day you div,"

"Point being?"

"Have you got Dad anything?"

"No,"

"You going to?"

"At three in the morning? No,"

"We're going to make him a cake,"

"'We' being just you,"

"No, that makes it sound like I've got a split personality disorder, us. Me and you,"

"But Hessy,"

"Please Tim, someone's gotta watch out for Mum and Dad. Mum'll kill us if she thinks we're messing up her kitchen,"

"Oh all right then," he gave in, getting out of bed, she leapt of it and hugged him. Hessy only just coming up to his elbow, being the younger of the two.

"Come on, Tim!" she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him off towards the kitchen.

•Θ•Θ•Θ•

"So, what type of cake are we gonna do?" Tim asked his little sister,

"Chocolate and banana,"

"But that's disgusting!"

"They're Dad's two favourite flavours, remember that time when Mum wouldn't let him have a banana?"

"God yeah, or that one when he barbequed bananas and poured chocolate sauce all over them?"

"And all over the kitchen! Or when he got food poisoning from eating an under ripe banana from that planet?"

"Yeah, I can remember Mum telling him off for weeks. Or that one time at Nanny Jackie's when he 'accidently' got banana smoothie all over the walls?"

"She winged for ages didn't she! The one person our Dad's scared off!" and with that from Hessy, they both started laughing, remembering the worried look on their Dad's banana covered face when their Nan started on him.

"Anyway, cake!" reminded Tim.

"Any idea where Mum keeps the scales?" asked Hessy,

"Yeah, I'll find 'em, do you wanna get the ingredients out?"

"Ok, Captain,"

"That's a thought,"

"What?"

"We should invite Uncle Jack around,"

"We can't ring him at three in the morning,"

"Half three, Hessy,"

"Still... we can't, he'll either be drunk out clubbing... or attempting to sleep of a hangover,"

"All the more reason to ring him! Oh, scales!" he exclaimed holding the scales proudly in his hands,

"And baking margarine, caster sugar, eggs and flour!"

"Good good, now how many eggs do we need?"

"Four, they're only small and we want a big cake,"

So they started to measure out the rest of the ingredients according to the weight of the eggs (8 oz, why they did everything in ounces was anyone's guess, but they did). Soon, their Mother's perfect kitchen was soon covered in flour, as was Tim's messy brown hair, and Hessy's pyjama top.

"We've gone and got flour everywhere Tim!"

"It's not my fault,"

"Then whose is it?"

"Sh..."

"What's wrong Tim?" Hessy asked.

"I think Dad's up,"

"Frick," she whispered again, looking around at the kitchen in despair, they had a half finished mix of cake batter, two greased cake tins, flour everywhere (floor, work surface, hair, clothes, you name it,) three banana skins placed haphazardly over the floor, and one cracked egg, also on the floor.

"What are we gonna do?" she whispered.

"We could ask the Tardis... you could ask her,"

"Why me?"

"She likes you,"

"She likes you too,"

"Not this week, she thinks I fiddled with her transdimensional override capacity on purpose,"

"But you thought that was a remote control,"

"And you can do it better than me,"

"Oh alright," she gave in, now screwing up her face in concentration, before mouthing the words 'Tardis, could you please move this kitchen for us? We'll be ever so good... we're trying to bake a cake for Dad... we don't want him to know... of course we haven't told Mum!... we promise!

"She's gonna do it for us, she's done it!" Thank you!

"Ok, on with the cake!"

•Θ•Θ•Θ•

After another cracked egg, another flour explosion, that according to Tim was all Hessy's fault, and according to Hessy was all Tim's fault. The cake was in the oven. Now they just had to tidy the kitchen. This was what they were good at. They may not look it, but both Hessy and Tim were experts in mess making, and their mother, one Rose Tyler, was fantastic at getting them to clean up. So after nearly twenty years of tidying between them, they were pretty damn good at it. Hessy began to wash up the bowls, weighing scales and cutlery, while Tim put all the ingredients away. Next Tim began to dry everything, while Hessy multitasked at putting the dried implements away and cleaning the work surface. She then cleaned the walls (climbing on the work surface) while Tim attacked the floors. Within twenty-two minutes and 43 seconds (an all time new record) the kitchen was spotless.

The cooker beeped. Tim snatched the oven glove from the side, and opened the oven door, turning his face away as the steam billowed out, threatening to steam up his glasses. He reached one hand into it and eased the cake trays out. Two perfect choc-banana cakes peered out at him. In one skilled move between them, Hessy and Tim got the cakes out of their cases and onto a cooling rack.

"Icing," they said together. Grinning. This was their specialty, thick gooey creamy chocolate fudge icing. Which was in fact famous across many galaxies, and had saved their lives once or twice. Like clockwork the pair set about making their masterpiece. Tim melted the butter, and added the cocoa, while Hessy mixed out the perfect quantity of icing sugar and milk. Combining the two, Tim took the mixture off the heat and with Hessy holding the handle of the pan he set about beating it, until it was strong enough not to drip off the cake, but also still creamy.

"I think that's about done it," he commented,

"Me, too. Let's ice the cake then! But we've gotta taste it first," she said dipping one long finger into it, then licking it.

"Yup, perfecto!" he stuck his finger in now, and murmured in agreement.

"How are we gonna ice it then?"

"I was thinking - "

"Oh God, Hessy's thinking, the universe is gonna exploded,"

"No that only happen's when Dad and Nanny Jackie get along,"

"True, true,"

"So, icing top and middle, and we can use smarties on the top to say 'Happy Father's Day,'"

"Sounds like a plan,"

It was easier said then done. For a start, more smarties seemed to reach Tim and Hessy's stomachs than the cake, and the covering wouldn't smooth properly, which according to Tim was "potentially problematic,". But after about half an hour a perfectly iced cake sat on the work surface, proudly displaying it's message Happy Father's Day - Dad. Tim and Hessy looked at the cake, then at each other, beaming.

"What time is it?"

"Half eight,"

"Half an hour till they're up, have we got time to make pancakes?"

"Yeah, if we're quick,"

----------

Hope you liked! Part Two should be up tomorrow.